I don’t need diamond sun bursts or marble halls to make me happy…….
All I need is the evening after it rains. It’s as if God gives me my very own planetarium to watch. John has a sun roof on the Camry and on Tuesdays we drive down to Homer together to meet with friends. The drive is always a good one because it is a new highway and generally, there are no lights to speak of except a gas station. John cranks the music up and I just watch. It’s so clear outside that you can see each sister in the sisters fate. Venus shines through in all her glory on the horizon and the moon turns up the brilliance even though it is only at half moon. I could rest with my head on the seat turned up forever. It feels like for just an instant that the world is perfect. Then in the following morning, yet another natural phenom begins: morning frost. It touches everything. It is not the hoar’s frost that poses as snow, rather a true frost that silences the animals and all lay still. There is a peace that comes with it. When you step out the door in the morning, the sun is just barely reflecting onto the blueness of the sky. There is nothing about the morning that is pink or orange, no, it is white and clear with hints of light and shadows cast in hues of greys. The still is a mountain still that makes me realize, once again, why I live here. It was as though the world were still asleep at 7:15 A.M. The mountains surround me and when I was on my way back up here to these mountains after my Christmas stay in Atlanta, I felt peace with the first sight of the mountain skyline. This morning, that peace was perfect. I felt as though I were……… assured that everything was going to work out in life. I felt content and fulfilled. I really love living in these mountains. It is so beautiful full of gifts in each day.
Wednesday, December 31, 2003
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Oh no I see,
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here I am in my little bubble
AHHHH!!! I don’t think I can do another report to save my life!! I really like my boss. She is a great person. When she asks me to do things, I do them with no remorse or dread. Part of my computer skill has given me the ability to do any report imaginable. She is thinking of every report imaginable. I didn’t think it was possible. I kid you not; I have been through two reams of paper today. At least she is nice about it. The thing is though that on top of the reports she is asking me to pull, I have my end of the month reports due too. It is the end of the month. Everywhere I turn there is another report to do. Mind you, this happens once a month and inevitably I am caught off guard. It is only my third month doing all these things. It is not nearly as difficult as last month. I do kind of feel caught though: caught in my own web.
I am slow. I ran for 25 minutes last night and only ran 1.6 miles. I got home about 5:30 and the sun beat me down. I ran as far as I felt comfortable with it getting darker by the second and when I was on my little gravel road, there was no sun. None. It was dark. It made me run a lot faster though. I wasn’t so concerned with someone getting me as I was something getting me (i.e. a bear or bobcat or wild pig, yes I said wild pig. Trust me you don’t want to run across a wild pig. They can’t see and they charge. They are terrible.). My legs feel like they are going to fall off today. I also did 150 crunches. Yeah, my abs are feeling it too. I didn’t ever feel any soreness from the gym, but being outside and going cross country, I am definitely sore. I wonder what the difference is.
Oh yeah, the Dr. Phil kid has been the talk with my friends. It’s a really bad, bad, bad representation of recovery of addiction. What’s worse, 50 days doesn’t mean squat. Depending on the DOC, it can take from 12 months to 5 years to detox. He is just barely coming down from the addiction. Goodness knows what will happen too if he swaps addictions to sex or food or people or nicotine. 50 days is not a good representation of recovery. Mostly, the only good representation is getting several addicts with similar DOC’s over an extended period of abstinence and treatment to see what is really life changing. See the difference between and addict at 30 days, 90 days, 9 months, 18 months, 5 years, 15 years and 20 years. Then you’ll get a really picture. At 50 days the kid is more apt to keep using than at any other time. It’s really easy not to use when you are locked up. Sorry, I am a little opinionated on this one. Most of us are laughing at the world.
A spider web and it's me in the middle,
So I twist and turn,
Here I am in my little bubble
AHHHH!!! I don’t think I can do another report to save my life!! I really like my boss. She is a great person. When she asks me to do things, I do them with no remorse or dread. Part of my computer skill has given me the ability to do any report imaginable. She is thinking of every report imaginable. I didn’t think it was possible. I kid you not; I have been through two reams of paper today. At least she is nice about it. The thing is though that on top of the reports she is asking me to pull, I have my end of the month reports due too. It is the end of the month. Everywhere I turn there is another report to do. Mind you, this happens once a month and inevitably I am caught off guard. It is only my third month doing all these things. It is not nearly as difficult as last month. I do kind of feel caught though: caught in my own web.
I am slow. I ran for 25 minutes last night and only ran 1.6 miles. I got home about 5:30 and the sun beat me down. I ran as far as I felt comfortable with it getting darker by the second and when I was on my little gravel road, there was no sun. None. It was dark. It made me run a lot faster though. I wasn’t so concerned with someone getting me as I was something getting me (i.e. a bear or bobcat or wild pig, yes I said wild pig. Trust me you don’t want to run across a wild pig. They can’t see and they charge. They are terrible.). My legs feel like they are going to fall off today. I also did 150 crunches. Yeah, my abs are feeling it too. I didn’t ever feel any soreness from the gym, but being outside and going cross country, I am definitely sore. I wonder what the difference is.
Oh yeah, the Dr. Phil kid has been the talk with my friends. It’s a really bad, bad, bad representation of recovery of addiction. What’s worse, 50 days doesn’t mean squat. Depending on the DOC, it can take from 12 months to 5 years to detox. He is just barely coming down from the addiction. Goodness knows what will happen too if he swaps addictions to sex or food or people or nicotine. 50 days is not a good representation of recovery. Mostly, the only good representation is getting several addicts with similar DOC’s over an extended period of abstinence and treatment to see what is really life changing. See the difference between and addict at 30 days, 90 days, 9 months, 18 months, 5 years, 15 years and 20 years. Then you’ll get a really picture. At 50 days the kid is more apt to keep using than at any other time. It’s really easy not to use when you are locked up. Sorry, I am a little opinionated on this one. Most of us are laughing at the world.
Monday, December 29, 2003
There will be a reckoning for this……
So the weekend collapsed like an accordion and I feel like I have missed it. I think I saw a couple of Pettits and a couple of McCallums in the whirlwind, which is always good. There was a movie theatre, a Best Buy and I drove a lot. I do know that I saw an Oscar movie on my way home. I got to see Cold Mountain. I liked the music so much that I went right out and bought the CD with my handy Best Buy GC that my Uncle George was kind enough to bestow on me for Christmas. The movie is phenomenal. Renee got her Oscar. Nicole gets a bid. Bets on that it gets a bid for best movie too. There was an editing mistake in it, which I found surprising. Usually movies like that don’t screw up so abrasively. In the whirl wind, there was a run in with John and more Christmas gifts. There was fun with Peter at the Salon and ……shopping. Had to use the GC’s up! I feel rather rested today, but who knows what happened in the past couple of days. I had planned to try to go running today and hopefully that will happen this afternoon. I thought about getting up super early in the morn, say five or so, but I think I will have to pray on that one. I would like to be that type of person though: the person who gets up and gets her act together way before the sun is up and has time to make breakfast and spend time with God. That would be cool. I still have some house cleaning to do before that happens though. Now, generally, I use the term “house cleaning” as a metaphor for aligning my emotional and mental self with God, but this time I mean that I really do have some house cleaning to do. I haven’t ever done the “donate to goodwill” thing and as a result I have way too much stuff. I think that my intentions have been to do it. Kind of like the morning person thing. Well, it’s all about change right? Change it is! Change with God’s help that is. God isn’t magic, but He sure is helpful and at times inspiring. Can you imagine giving everything you have to the entire human race? Pretty inspiring. I kind of feel inspired right now. The other inspiring thing I want to do is to write for the paper as a movie critic. Of course that requires time to do that sort of thing. Jo March used to sell her stories for $5 to the magazines, I wonder how much I could get for it now? By Carter’s COL standards: $5,000.00. Maybe not this time. Maybe next time.
So the weekend collapsed like an accordion and I feel like I have missed it. I think I saw a couple of Pettits and a couple of McCallums in the whirlwind, which is always good. There was a movie theatre, a Best Buy and I drove a lot. I do know that I saw an Oscar movie on my way home. I got to see Cold Mountain. I liked the music so much that I went right out and bought the CD with my handy Best Buy GC that my Uncle George was kind enough to bestow on me for Christmas. The movie is phenomenal. Renee got her Oscar. Nicole gets a bid. Bets on that it gets a bid for best movie too. There was an editing mistake in it, which I found surprising. Usually movies like that don’t screw up so abrasively. In the whirl wind, there was a run in with John and more Christmas gifts. There was fun with Peter at the Salon and ……shopping. Had to use the GC’s up! I feel rather rested today, but who knows what happened in the past couple of days. I had planned to try to go running today and hopefully that will happen this afternoon. I thought about getting up super early in the morn, say five or so, but I think I will have to pray on that one. I would like to be that type of person though: the person who gets up and gets her act together way before the sun is up and has time to make breakfast and spend time with God. That would be cool. I still have some house cleaning to do before that happens though. Now, generally, I use the term “house cleaning” as a metaphor for aligning my emotional and mental self with God, but this time I mean that I really do have some house cleaning to do. I haven’t ever done the “donate to goodwill” thing and as a result I have way too much stuff. I think that my intentions have been to do it. Kind of like the morning person thing. Well, it’s all about change right? Change it is! Change with God’s help that is. God isn’t magic, but He sure is helpful and at times inspiring. Can you imagine giving everything you have to the entire human race? Pretty inspiring. I kind of feel inspired right now. The other inspiring thing I want to do is to write for the paper as a movie critic. Of course that requires time to do that sort of thing. Jo March used to sell her stories for $5 to the magazines, I wonder how much I could get for it now? By Carter’s COL standards: $5,000.00. Maybe not this time. Maybe next time.
Thursday, December 25, 2003
And unto us a child is born......
So today is the birth of Christ. Yesterday on TV, there was a history channel special on the apostles and the apocraphatic tales. Mostly, the apocraphe told how the apostles preached and became missionaries and how they died and then the rest is myth and lore. At least, this is what I got out of the TV presentation. The thing that sparked my attention the most was the way that the apostles died. They mostly all died horrible deaths that were representations or rather supposedly honoring the death of Christ. They all died pretty horribly. Mostly, what I gathered is that they loved Jesus so much that they wanted to do everything just like Him, even in death. The thing so unique, that no one can ever mock is Christ's birth. Obviously, that is the point of the celebration today. Now, I am not going to pretend that Christ was born EXACTLY today 2003 years ago. That is not the point of today either. The point is.......I realize that some of you are thinking that the point is that we grow along spriritual lines. We claim spiritual progress not spiritual perfection, however that is not the point of this rambling right now. The point is that Christ was born. He was here. No questions asked. There are far and few between (like no one) that can deny His existance. Many can debate His worthiness, the way He came about or His ability, but no one can deny that a child was born and changed the way the human race thinks. Now, when perception is changed (Perception is the way you think), I have been told that this is the definition of a miracle. Christ was born, changed the way that the human race percieved the world, a miracle occured. Que no? Yeah, miracle day...spiritual truths...happy birthday Big Brother J.
So today is the birth of Christ. Yesterday on TV, there was a history channel special on the apostles and the apocraphatic tales. Mostly, the apocraphe told how the apostles preached and became missionaries and how they died and then the rest is myth and lore. At least, this is what I got out of the TV presentation. The thing that sparked my attention the most was the way that the apostles died. They mostly all died horrible deaths that were representations or rather supposedly honoring the death of Christ. They all died pretty horribly. Mostly, what I gathered is that they loved Jesus so much that they wanted to do everything just like Him, even in death. The thing so unique, that no one can ever mock is Christ's birth. Obviously, that is the point of the celebration today. Now, I am not going to pretend that Christ was born EXACTLY today 2003 years ago. That is not the point of today either. The point is.......I realize that some of you are thinking that the point is that we grow along spriritual lines. We claim spiritual progress not spiritual perfection, however that is not the point of this rambling right now. The point is that Christ was born. He was here. No questions asked. There are far and few between (like no one) that can deny His existance. Many can debate His worthiness, the way He came about or His ability, but no one can deny that a child was born and changed the way the human race thinks. Now, when perception is changed (Perception is the way you think), I have been told that this is the definition of a miracle. Christ was born, changed the way that the human race percieved the world, a miracle occured. Que no? Yeah, miracle day...spiritual truths...happy birthday Big Brother J.
Wednesday, December 24, 2003
Oh, you know where, now I can't see, I just stare...
I, I'm still alive
Yeah, so I haven’t been blogging lately because………well life is beating me up with dates and things to do and people to see. What to do…..What to say…..
So this weekend I went to the Masquerade and saw the teenagers play and they were, unfortunately, really bad. I have to realize several things though: they are a new band, they have never played in a venue that large and they were scared to death. They threw out CD’s at the end of the concert and I snagged one. It turns out, they don’t sing on key either. Oops. Strangely enough, this didn’t matter at all to the crew that went. They just thought it was cool that they got to a) go to Atlanta b) see their friends play and c) stay out late. I am sure the ice cream at Ruby Tuesday’s helped a little too. That is where we went afterwards. We also went to the Varsity prior to, because we were in Atlanta and that is an Atlanta thing to do. It was super fun being around all those kids and just hearing the laughter, the screams for the cute teenage rock star and the surrealistic adventure that I was on.
Saturday, I went to my cousin Sarah”s graduation ceremony at University of GA in the morning. It was completely normal. Nothing unusual happened. The commencement speaker was a little off though. She stood up and instead of saying “Yea! You graduated! Go get ‘em,” she said, “ we still need affirmative action! And more diversity in the school!” ???????? Maybe it is just me, but using the commencement speech as a campus political platform seems off kilter. It was a very nice ceremony.
Saturday evening, I went to Mom’s for the famous McCallum Dinner. Some one said it best, “listen the matriarch is speaking!” This is quite a good statement. My Mom has moved into the position of matriarch for her side of the family. She is definitely the one that they look to for approval and guidance. It was a lovely dinner and wonderful fellowship. My cousin Jack is a riot. He is so ept at everything he does. It is so apparent that he has smart parents.
Sunday was a drive home and movie stop on the way. I met my friend Peter and we saw As Good as it Gets II……..I mean I went to see Something’s Gotta Give. I didn’t care for it, kinda for personal reasons. It was definitely the same genre movie though as As Good as It Gets. Not impressed.
Monday, I shopped and wrapped and watched League of Extraordinary Gentleman. Good flick. Hurray for the gifts that Papa got me!! He did a great job picking them out!! I also got John a couple of his gifts and do you have any idea how hard it is to wrap a tea kettle that has no box? It took all the invention that I had. When I dropped the gifts off by his house last night, he asked if he could open one so that he could make tea. Guess it wasn’t as clever as I thought. He always guesses his gifts.
How much do I love the fact that I get to go home today once lunch is served? Yeah, well I do. The IT guys are bringing us lunch today as our Christmas gift. Thank goodness for Blimpie. At least that is the rumor that is going around. It’s crazy here. Today is hospital dump day so that all their patients can go home for the holidays and they refer them all to us to get the medications to them. Luckily, I don’t know how to give a shot or IV or anything else. Whew. My boss didn’t even come in except for the staff Christmas party yesterday. Then she bolted, so I get to go soon. Hopefully, unless the evil one makes me stay. Long story. Oh………….vacation. I want you!!! I am ready!! Let’s go!! See you soon!!!
I, I'm still alive
Yeah, so I haven’t been blogging lately because………well life is beating me up with dates and things to do and people to see. What to do…..What to say…..
So this weekend I went to the Masquerade and saw the teenagers play and they were, unfortunately, really bad. I have to realize several things though: they are a new band, they have never played in a venue that large and they were scared to death. They threw out CD’s at the end of the concert and I snagged one. It turns out, they don’t sing on key either. Oops. Strangely enough, this didn’t matter at all to the crew that went. They just thought it was cool that they got to a) go to Atlanta b) see their friends play and c) stay out late. I am sure the ice cream at Ruby Tuesday’s helped a little too. That is where we went afterwards. We also went to the Varsity prior to, because we were in Atlanta and that is an Atlanta thing to do. It was super fun being around all those kids and just hearing the laughter, the screams for the cute teenage rock star and the surrealistic adventure that I was on.
Saturday, I went to my cousin Sarah”s graduation ceremony at University of GA in the morning. It was completely normal. Nothing unusual happened. The commencement speaker was a little off though. She stood up and instead of saying “Yea! You graduated! Go get ‘em,” she said, “ we still need affirmative action! And more diversity in the school!” ???????? Maybe it is just me, but using the commencement speech as a campus political platform seems off kilter. It was a very nice ceremony.
Saturday evening, I went to Mom’s for the famous McCallum Dinner. Some one said it best, “listen the matriarch is speaking!” This is quite a good statement. My Mom has moved into the position of matriarch for her side of the family. She is definitely the one that they look to for approval and guidance. It was a lovely dinner and wonderful fellowship. My cousin Jack is a riot. He is so ept at everything he does. It is so apparent that he has smart parents.
Sunday was a drive home and movie stop on the way. I met my friend Peter and we saw As Good as it Gets II……..I mean I went to see Something’s Gotta Give. I didn’t care for it, kinda for personal reasons. It was definitely the same genre movie though as As Good as It Gets. Not impressed.
Monday, I shopped and wrapped and watched League of Extraordinary Gentleman. Good flick. Hurray for the gifts that Papa got me!! He did a great job picking them out!! I also got John a couple of his gifts and do you have any idea how hard it is to wrap a tea kettle that has no box? It took all the invention that I had. When I dropped the gifts off by his house last night, he asked if he could open one so that he could make tea. Guess it wasn’t as clever as I thought. He always guesses his gifts.
How much do I love the fact that I get to go home today once lunch is served? Yeah, well I do. The IT guys are bringing us lunch today as our Christmas gift. Thank goodness for Blimpie. At least that is the rumor that is going around. It’s crazy here. Today is hospital dump day so that all their patients can go home for the holidays and they refer them all to us to get the medications to them. Luckily, I don’t know how to give a shot or IV or anything else. Whew. My boss didn’t even come in except for the staff Christmas party yesterday. Then she bolted, so I get to go soon. Hopefully, unless the evil one makes me stay. Long story. Oh………….vacation. I want you!!! I am ready!! Let’s go!! See you soon!!!
Friday, December 19, 2003
She dreams in yellow, she dreams in red………
So this morning on the way to work I get a rather bizarre question on my cell phone from my Mom… Are you going to work today? Yes…….apparently the news stations in Atlanta were under the impression that there was four inches of snow on the ground in White County. No, no snow. There are however, snow clouds sitting in the sky that look like any minute they will break. Perhaps this is what the meteorologist was seeing. So, I watched out for icy conditions on the way to work and was snug as a bug in my warm car. There was a beautiful sunrise this morning that reflected off of the underside of the snow clouds all the way to work. It was this beautiful red and pink paint smeared over cotton.
Well, I have decided that it is going to be worth my time to become a teacher. I have been doing a little research even though I am currently employed. I talked it over with my boss to see what she thought of the idea of working here and going to school on the side. She said it sounded really nice and she thinks that it would be worth her time and mine. I am sure there are a few of you out there who are thinking…………where did this come from? Well, my super boss has two kids: one is six and the other nine. The nine year old was a little girl just like me as a brunette. She and I got to talking and then she started playing games on my computer, in the meanwhile I braided her hair. It turned out that she thought she was waiting on Mom and in turn, Mom couldn’t find her and was ready to go. Mom (my super boss) looked at me in amazement because I braided her hair. She asked how I got her to sit still long enough to braid her hair. I replied: I am not her mom. But really, what it boiled down to in my head is that I am really good with children at the age of 8-14. I just get them. I have been working with them all my life……….or since I was a senior in high school. Why am I not using that talent? I should be. It turns out that there is a program for both Masters in Education and for Post Bacc Certification at the college right around the corner……..my Dad wanted me to go there for undergrad or at least look at it and I wouldn’t because it was a military institution: North Georgia. Duh. So here is what I think that I want to do: get the Post Bacc to certify me and begin teaching; get the Masters to be a counselor. Yeah, I know I am crazy. No, I don’t know if I will follow through with it or not, but it sure is appealing. I don’t really want to be an admin assistant for the rest of my life, but I need benefits and here I have benefits next month.
So maybe I am dreaming, but at least it is not a nightmare…..or maybe it is and I just haven’t gotten to the scary part yet! Either way, it is only thoughts. Thoughts don’t harm. Actions harm, so I am safe. God is watching over me. I can feel it.
So this morning on the way to work I get a rather bizarre question on my cell phone from my Mom… Are you going to work today? Yes…….apparently the news stations in Atlanta were under the impression that there was four inches of snow on the ground in White County. No, no snow. There are however, snow clouds sitting in the sky that look like any minute they will break. Perhaps this is what the meteorologist was seeing. So, I watched out for icy conditions on the way to work and was snug as a bug in my warm car. There was a beautiful sunrise this morning that reflected off of the underside of the snow clouds all the way to work. It was this beautiful red and pink paint smeared over cotton.
Well, I have decided that it is going to be worth my time to become a teacher. I have been doing a little research even though I am currently employed. I talked it over with my boss to see what she thought of the idea of working here and going to school on the side. She said it sounded really nice and she thinks that it would be worth her time and mine. I am sure there are a few of you out there who are thinking…………where did this come from? Well, my super boss has two kids: one is six and the other nine. The nine year old was a little girl just like me as a brunette. She and I got to talking and then she started playing games on my computer, in the meanwhile I braided her hair. It turned out that she thought she was waiting on Mom and in turn, Mom couldn’t find her and was ready to go. Mom (my super boss) looked at me in amazement because I braided her hair. She asked how I got her to sit still long enough to braid her hair. I replied: I am not her mom. But really, what it boiled down to in my head is that I am really good with children at the age of 8-14. I just get them. I have been working with them all my life……….or since I was a senior in high school. Why am I not using that talent? I should be. It turns out that there is a program for both Masters in Education and for Post Bacc Certification at the college right around the corner……..my Dad wanted me to go there for undergrad or at least look at it and I wouldn’t because it was a military institution: North Georgia. Duh. So here is what I think that I want to do: get the Post Bacc to certify me and begin teaching; get the Masters to be a counselor. Yeah, I know I am crazy. No, I don’t know if I will follow through with it or not, but it sure is appealing. I don’t really want to be an admin assistant for the rest of my life, but I need benefits and here I have benefits next month.
So maybe I am dreaming, but at least it is not a nightmare…..or maybe it is and I just haven’t gotten to the scary part yet! Either way, it is only thoughts. Thoughts don’t harm. Actions harm, so I am safe. God is watching over me. I can feel it.
Thursday, December 18, 2003
There’s a new kid in down and he’s lying in the manger down the road………
Did you know that only two people have ever gotten off the earth alive and Christ wasn’t one of them?
Well, I heard something I really liked last night and it finally feels like Christmas as a result. I heard that Christ means spiritual truth. Now when I look it up it says:
The Messiah; Jesus; the ideal truth that comes as a divine manifestation of God to destroy incarnate error
I like spiritual truth better. To me, it means that I get to have a piece of God to carry around with me. The celebration of Christmas is about the celebration of a spiritual truth. The thing I find so interesting is that the entire calendar is built on the existence of Christ yet people still doubt. There are several factors that let me know that Christ was here. First, twelve men all said the same thing and didn’t get lost or confused on any of the issues. Second, there are too many documents saying “hey, this is the guy.” There aren’t that many documents that say hey this is the guy for any other human being in history other than Christ. He changed the perception of time and had a major effect on history as a whole. It doesn’t make since that he wasn’t here. He told the truth too. Christ never once preached, he talked and taught. He never taught theology. The only two things he taught is that 1)Love the lord you God with all your Heart, you Soul and Body and 2)Love your neighbor as you do yourself. That is what the season seems to be all about for me. It is about reaffirming these spiritual truths. It’s the anniversary of beginning of the spirit.
The other thing I heard that I really liked is that if you are a betting man and you bet there is a God and there isn’t, you lose nothing. However, if you bet that there isn’t a God and there is, you’re really in for it.
Whatever is whatever, I just am excited that my big brother is going to have another birthday.
Did you know that only two people have ever gotten off the earth alive and Christ wasn’t one of them?
Well, I heard something I really liked last night and it finally feels like Christmas as a result. I heard that Christ means spiritual truth. Now when I look it up it says:
The Messiah; Jesus; the ideal truth that comes as a divine manifestation of God to destroy incarnate error
I like spiritual truth better. To me, it means that I get to have a piece of God to carry around with me. The celebration of Christmas is about the celebration of a spiritual truth. The thing I find so interesting is that the entire calendar is built on the existence of Christ yet people still doubt. There are several factors that let me know that Christ was here. First, twelve men all said the same thing and didn’t get lost or confused on any of the issues. Second, there are too many documents saying “hey, this is the guy.” There aren’t that many documents that say hey this is the guy for any other human being in history other than Christ. He changed the perception of time and had a major effect on history as a whole. It doesn’t make since that he wasn’t here. He told the truth too. Christ never once preached, he talked and taught. He never taught theology. The only two things he taught is that 1)Love the lord you God with all your Heart, you Soul and Body and 2)Love your neighbor as you do yourself. That is what the season seems to be all about for me. It is about reaffirming these spiritual truths. It’s the anniversary of beginning of the spirit.
The other thing I heard that I really liked is that if you are a betting man and you bet there is a God and there isn’t, you lose nothing. However, if you bet that there isn’t a God and there is, you’re really in for it.
Whatever is whatever, I just am excited that my big brother is going to have another birthday.
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
Oompa
Loompa
Loo-pa-dee-doo
I’ve got another riddle for you
So this woman is here today at work. And she is here to see whether or not we meet national standards as a Home Health Agency. Apparently, several years back, HHA’s were taking advantage of patients and the system and what not. The medical institutions were not being regulated. Now, however, they are. There is a Joint Commission that sets standards for every type of agency you can imagine. Typically, the standard is updated every three years or so. So now, as in right now as I am writing, there is an evaluator in the building as we are trying to be accredited by JHACHO standards before they change on Jan 1. Oh yeah, the evaluations and accreditations cost 50K. Everyone in the building are walking on pins and needles, all have their hair done and their ties straightened. It’s amazing. Knees are knocking and brows are beading. The thing that gets me is that, what’s the reason for the fear if we are doing what we are supposed to be doing?
Loompa
Loo-pa-dee-doo
I’ve got another riddle for you
So this woman is here today at work. And she is here to see whether or not we meet national standards as a Home Health Agency. Apparently, several years back, HHA’s were taking advantage of patients and the system and what not. The medical institutions were not being regulated. Now, however, they are. There is a Joint Commission that sets standards for every type of agency you can imagine. Typically, the standard is updated every three years or so. So now, as in right now as I am writing, there is an evaluator in the building as we are trying to be accredited by JHACHO standards before they change on Jan 1. Oh yeah, the evaluations and accreditations cost 50K. Everyone in the building are walking on pins and needles, all have their hair done and their ties straightened. It’s amazing. Knees are knocking and brows are beading. The thing that gets me is that, what’s the reason for the fear if we are doing what we are supposed to be doing?
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
To everything there is a season,
Turn, turn, turn,
And a time to every purpose under heaven
Turn, turn, turn………
So a really weird thing has been happening in my head here lately and I have finally come to a place of acceptance with it. I was in the Sautee coffee shop the other day and on the wall where all the events are, there was a picture of a band with a couple of dates. In the picture is an old friend of mine, Ian Shearer. My heart exploded. I couldn’t believe that Ian was in North Georgia! Of all people, he is not someone who I would ever imagine seeing again. Ian is an old high school chum, who turned into one of my drinking buddies when I lived in Atlanta. We have had some wonderful experiences together. He plays the trumpet and harmonica, writes poetry and had a knack for art. I actually still have some of the poems and tid-bits of art he made for me when we were in school together. I have heard him play the trumpet on any number of occasions at clubs and what not. I wanted so badly to see him play this past Saturday night, but couldn’t find anyone to go with me. I was not about to walk into a bar all by myself. I don’t have that privilege any more. It tore me up to know that he was right here and that I couldn’t touch or see or hear him. I began to connive ways to go see him. Then last night, after meeting with friends and talking about God, I realized that I can’t see. Not only can I not go see him, I couldn’t see me. I was just aching to return to my scene that used to pacify me and make my life a living hell even though it had the façade of making me feel better about life. I couldn’t figure it out, until talking last night. There is a passage that was read last night that tells me where I have to leave Ian:
For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But no so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it.
Ian is but a memory. If I ever run into him again, then it will be in a sober environment, not in me going into a bar. I am no longer able to participate in that area of life. Sometimes I forget that I changed. Apparently, according to my friends it is the nature of the beast and desires can sometimes be cunning, baffling and powerful. I still do want to see him. I hope he goes to the coffee shop or something. Maybe he’ll move to Sautee. He’d fit right in with all the artists and vagrants aka hippies of the valley. Ahh……my home. I find just as much solace in the place I live now as I did in the bottle. I think now, it’s a God thing though. Sautee is definitely a God thing. Thanks God.
Turn, turn, turn,
And a time to every purpose under heaven
Turn, turn, turn………
So a really weird thing has been happening in my head here lately and I have finally come to a place of acceptance with it. I was in the Sautee coffee shop the other day and on the wall where all the events are, there was a picture of a band with a couple of dates. In the picture is an old friend of mine, Ian Shearer. My heart exploded. I couldn’t believe that Ian was in North Georgia! Of all people, he is not someone who I would ever imagine seeing again. Ian is an old high school chum, who turned into one of my drinking buddies when I lived in Atlanta. We have had some wonderful experiences together. He plays the trumpet and harmonica, writes poetry and had a knack for art. I actually still have some of the poems and tid-bits of art he made for me when we were in school together. I have heard him play the trumpet on any number of occasions at clubs and what not. I wanted so badly to see him play this past Saturday night, but couldn’t find anyone to go with me. I was not about to walk into a bar all by myself. I don’t have that privilege any more. It tore me up to know that he was right here and that I couldn’t touch or see or hear him. I began to connive ways to go see him. Then last night, after meeting with friends and talking about God, I realized that I can’t see. Not only can I not go see him, I couldn’t see me. I was just aching to return to my scene that used to pacify me and make my life a living hell even though it had the façade of making me feel better about life. I couldn’t figure it out, until talking last night. There is a passage that was read last night that tells me where I have to leave Ian:
For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good. But no so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it.
Ian is but a memory. If I ever run into him again, then it will be in a sober environment, not in me going into a bar. I am no longer able to participate in that area of life. Sometimes I forget that I changed. Apparently, according to my friends it is the nature of the beast and desires can sometimes be cunning, baffling and powerful. I still do want to see him. I hope he goes to the coffee shop or something. Maybe he’ll move to Sautee. He’d fit right in with all the artists and vagrants aka hippies of the valley. Ahh……my home. I find just as much solace in the place I live now as I did in the bottle. I think now, it’s a God thing though. Sautee is definitely a God thing. Thanks God.
Monday, December 15, 2003
And we’re back together again,
And I’m never going to lose you as a friend. . .
So this weekend was nice, even though I didn’t get done anything that I had planned to get done. I am coming to accept that this is the way life is: I make plans; God laughs and gives me other things. I also had the opportunity to see Bruce Almighty this weekend. Yeah, I can totally relate to a lot of it. I have been a selfish individual for a long time and have been running on self will always. Sometimes (more than not), I still do. I did have the opportunity to do for others what they couldn’t do for themselves and that was very cool. I am not much in the way of being able to help others, but when I do, it makes my insides feel good. Sometimes I am not aware of my helping, but I try to be conscience enough to help one person a day at least if not more. It’s such a reciprocal action. I give to you to make you feel good and in return I feel good too. Paradoxical is what it’s called. I just try to see opportunities that God lays in front of me. Sometimes it is not easy. When I am all wrapped up in self it is almost impossible. I also find it easier to give to those who are not so close to me. It is easier to give to an acquaintance than to a close friend. I guess that is due to the nature of codependence. I am more concerned of what my best friend thinks of me, than a complete stranger. I guess that is for two reasons: 1) because my best friend will tell me what they think and 2) I am a perfectionist and if my gift isn’t perfect, then I don’t want to give it……………..which is totally against the nature of giving in the first place, but what can you do?
Ahh……so Friday I saw this terrific new series on TV. I was at the gym on the bi-cycle, thinking that I would try to stay on there for an hour. I watched Home Improvement finally, after 15 minutes worth of channel surfing. Then, after that I stumbled onto Joan of Arcadia. It was so good that I couldn’t turn the channel for anything. I ended up being on the bike for an hour and forty-five minutes just to see the end of the program. It is the new Dawson’s. It doesn’t have the romantic thing going, but it’s got the God concept kicking. So now, the lady who is crazy, on the elliptical machine and I have a date every Friday to see this show at the gym. Yes, it’s that good.
Saturday……….I played all day and then chilled out that evening with my honey. We played Backgammon and drank hot tea. I read my book some and just chilled. He is such a wonderful man. It was an overall good weekend. Sunday, of course, was movie day, not to mention a day for history forever. It seems a little trippy that Saddam is done. It’s kind of…………well what do we do now. I am sure I will get that same feeling ten times over with the capture of ’O-Samma.’ Still, it mostly makes me think of my friend Alan, who is over there right now. Not good. The thing that I most don’t like at all is that even though Saddam is in custody, our men still won’t get to come home. That’s sad. Although, I would rather have them fighting for something than just hanging out doing nothing. Not acting is as much an action as acting, and something, some how, needed to be done. I just disagree with the policy and procedures, that’s all. I hope Saddam gives all kinds of good info…..that would be very useful and worth the great hunt.
And I’m never going to lose you as a friend. . .
So this weekend was nice, even though I didn’t get done anything that I had planned to get done. I am coming to accept that this is the way life is: I make plans; God laughs and gives me other things. I also had the opportunity to see Bruce Almighty this weekend. Yeah, I can totally relate to a lot of it. I have been a selfish individual for a long time and have been running on self will always. Sometimes (more than not), I still do. I did have the opportunity to do for others what they couldn’t do for themselves and that was very cool. I am not much in the way of being able to help others, but when I do, it makes my insides feel good. Sometimes I am not aware of my helping, but I try to be conscience enough to help one person a day at least if not more. It’s such a reciprocal action. I give to you to make you feel good and in return I feel good too. Paradoxical is what it’s called. I just try to see opportunities that God lays in front of me. Sometimes it is not easy. When I am all wrapped up in self it is almost impossible. I also find it easier to give to those who are not so close to me. It is easier to give to an acquaintance than to a close friend. I guess that is due to the nature of codependence. I am more concerned of what my best friend thinks of me, than a complete stranger. I guess that is for two reasons: 1) because my best friend will tell me what they think and 2) I am a perfectionist and if my gift isn’t perfect, then I don’t want to give it……………..which is totally against the nature of giving in the first place, but what can you do?
Ahh……so Friday I saw this terrific new series on TV. I was at the gym on the bi-cycle, thinking that I would try to stay on there for an hour. I watched Home Improvement finally, after 15 minutes worth of channel surfing. Then, after that I stumbled onto Joan of Arcadia. It was so good that I couldn’t turn the channel for anything. I ended up being on the bike for an hour and forty-five minutes just to see the end of the program. It is the new Dawson’s. It doesn’t have the romantic thing going, but it’s got the God concept kicking. So now, the lady who is crazy, on the elliptical machine and I have a date every Friday to see this show at the gym. Yes, it’s that good.
Saturday……….I played all day and then chilled out that evening with my honey. We played Backgammon and drank hot tea. I read my book some and just chilled. He is such a wonderful man. It was an overall good weekend. Sunday, of course, was movie day, not to mention a day for history forever. It seems a little trippy that Saddam is done. It’s kind of…………well what do we do now. I am sure I will get that same feeling ten times over with the capture of ’O-Samma.’ Still, it mostly makes me think of my friend Alan, who is over there right now. Not good. The thing that I most don’t like at all is that even though Saddam is in custody, our men still won’t get to come home. That’s sad. Although, I would rather have them fighting for something than just hanging out doing nothing. Not acting is as much an action as acting, and something, some how, needed to be done. I just disagree with the policy and procedures, that’s all. I hope Saddam gives all kinds of good info…..that would be very useful and worth the great hunt.
Friday, December 12, 2003
Wow.
O Freunde, nicht diese Töne!
Sondern lasst uns angenehmere anstimmen
und freudenvollere!
Freude, schöner Götterfunken,
Tochter aus Elysium,
Wir betreten feuertrunken.
Himmlische, dein Heiligtum!
Deine Zauber binden wieder
Was die Mode streng geteilt;
Alle Menschen werden Brüder
Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.
Wem der grosse Wurf gelungen
Eines Freundes Freund zu sein,
Wer ein holdes Weib errungen,
Mische seinen Jubel ein!
Ja, wer auch nur eine Seele
Sein nennt auf dem Erdenrund!
Und wer's nie gekonnt, der stehle
Weinend sich aus diesem Bund.
Freude trinken alle Wesen
An den Brüsten der Natur;
Alle Guten, alle Bösen,
Folgen ihrer Rosenspur.
Küsse gab sie uns und Reben,
Einen Freund, geprüft im Tod;
Wollust ward dem Wurm gegeben,
Und der Cherub steht vor Gott!
Froh, wie seine Sonnen fliegen
Durch des Himmels prächt'gen Plan,
Laufet, Brüder, eure Bahn,
Freudig, wie ein Held zum Siegen.
Seid umschlungen, Millionen.
Dieser Kuss der ganzen Welt!
Brüder! Über'm Sternenzelt
Muss ein lieber Vater wohnen.
Ihr stürzt nieder, Millionen?
Ahnest du den Schöpfer, Welt?
Such ihn über'm Sternenzelt!
Über Sternen muss er wohnen.
Yeah, definitely Grammy material, definitely. Go Dad.
O Freunde, nicht diese Töne!
Sondern lasst uns angenehmere anstimmen
und freudenvollere!
Freude, schöner Götterfunken,
Tochter aus Elysium,
Wir betreten feuertrunken.
Himmlische, dein Heiligtum!
Deine Zauber binden wieder
Was die Mode streng geteilt;
Alle Menschen werden Brüder
Wo dein sanfter Flügel weilt.
Wem der grosse Wurf gelungen
Eines Freundes Freund zu sein,
Wer ein holdes Weib errungen,
Mische seinen Jubel ein!
Ja, wer auch nur eine Seele
Sein nennt auf dem Erdenrund!
Und wer's nie gekonnt, der stehle
Weinend sich aus diesem Bund.
Freude trinken alle Wesen
An den Brüsten der Natur;
Alle Guten, alle Bösen,
Folgen ihrer Rosenspur.
Küsse gab sie uns und Reben,
Einen Freund, geprüft im Tod;
Wollust ward dem Wurm gegeben,
Und der Cherub steht vor Gott!
Froh, wie seine Sonnen fliegen
Durch des Himmels prächt'gen Plan,
Laufet, Brüder, eure Bahn,
Freudig, wie ein Held zum Siegen.
Seid umschlungen, Millionen.
Dieser Kuss der ganzen Welt!
Brüder! Über'm Sternenzelt
Muss ein lieber Vater wohnen.
Ihr stürzt nieder, Millionen?
Ahnest du den Schöpfer, Welt?
Such ihn über'm Sternenzelt!
Über Sternen muss er wohnen.
Yeah, definitely Grammy material, definitely. Go Dad.
Thursday, December 11, 2003
At the Spencer’s, Mrs. Isabella Spencer made them miserable by saying something ill-natured about everyone in Avonlea.
So I didn’t understand some of the jokes at the party on Tuesday evening. There was an employee roast that went on by my super boss here at work. She found something to pick on everyone about, no matter what the position except the CEO. There was one award given to a manager as the Queen Bee award. I didn’t really get this, because she seemed fine to me. They talked and laughed about how no one would work for her because like the Queen of the Hive, she would sting and kill her own. Now, I don’t know if that is true about Queens or not, but I know another version of Queen B that I don’t particularly care for, myself. I found out what it means now, turns out that I got stung yesterday. I mind my own self pretty well and don’t nose into others situations, especially at work, because I don’t like: 1) to be talked about or 2) to be the talker. Both of these ends of the stick make me feel bad in the conscience realm. Apparently, it doesn’t bother others though and my boss had to confront me this morning about bad behavior. Whatever? I don’t do much wrong, but yesterday on company time I checked the weather on the internet. I try to keep my blogging and emailing confined to lunch and breaks and that is accepted, but oh no! I am checking the weather before I go home and I get blasted. I felt infected with Bee Serum immediately. The thing I have noticed is that this woman is only happy when others are miserable. She was buzzing around after I came out of my office, happy, joyous and free. Initially, I was slightly wounded. I hid in my cubicle and wouldn’t play any music and stuck to my work, then as the monotony of my data entry dragged on, I began to think: You know it must be really hard work making others miserable; I can either really let this woman get under my skin and give her my time and energy or I can change my thoughts to someone I can help or to God; I can’t imagine being as miserable as she must be……So now I feel better because I have had some time to pray and think and become aware. My music is back on and I am no longer in fear or hurt, rather in an okay centered place. You know, there hasn’t been any buzzing or if there is, I can’t hear it. Imagine that. One of my girlfriends says that it is a beautiful day in God’s world today, would you like to join? Today my answer is yes. I don’t have to be a part of others messes if I don’t want it. Besides, how can I get down on Mom’s birthday, which just happens to be my Dad’s concert day, where me and a crew are going to see them this evening? Happy Birthday Mom, I love you.
So I didn’t understand some of the jokes at the party on Tuesday evening. There was an employee roast that went on by my super boss here at work. She found something to pick on everyone about, no matter what the position except the CEO. There was one award given to a manager as the Queen Bee award. I didn’t really get this, because she seemed fine to me. They talked and laughed about how no one would work for her because like the Queen of the Hive, she would sting and kill her own. Now, I don’t know if that is true about Queens or not, but I know another version of Queen B that I don’t particularly care for, myself. I found out what it means now, turns out that I got stung yesterday. I mind my own self pretty well and don’t nose into others situations, especially at work, because I don’t like: 1) to be talked about or 2) to be the talker. Both of these ends of the stick make me feel bad in the conscience realm. Apparently, it doesn’t bother others though and my boss had to confront me this morning about bad behavior. Whatever? I don’t do much wrong, but yesterday on company time I checked the weather on the internet. I try to keep my blogging and emailing confined to lunch and breaks and that is accepted, but oh no! I am checking the weather before I go home and I get blasted. I felt infected with Bee Serum immediately. The thing I have noticed is that this woman is only happy when others are miserable. She was buzzing around after I came out of my office, happy, joyous and free. Initially, I was slightly wounded. I hid in my cubicle and wouldn’t play any music and stuck to my work, then as the monotony of my data entry dragged on, I began to think: You know it must be really hard work making others miserable; I can either really let this woman get under my skin and give her my time and energy or I can change my thoughts to someone I can help or to God; I can’t imagine being as miserable as she must be……So now I feel better because I have had some time to pray and think and become aware. My music is back on and I am no longer in fear or hurt, rather in an okay centered place. You know, there hasn’t been any buzzing or if there is, I can’t hear it. Imagine that. One of my girlfriends says that it is a beautiful day in God’s world today, would you like to join? Today my answer is yes. I don’t have to be a part of others messes if I don’t want it. Besides, how can I get down on Mom’s birthday, which just happens to be my Dad’s concert day, where me and a crew are going to see them this evening? Happy Birthday Mom, I love you.
Wednesday, December 10, 2003
Cast me gently,
Into morning,
For the night has been unkind.......
Yeah, so my super boss gave me a copy of the new Sarah McLaughlin CD, wow. Good music. It sounds exactly like her last cd, only better and with different beats and words. These lyrics are particularly comforting after the night I had last night. I went to my first official social outing with the office last night: the office Christmas Party. Now, I should probably give you some background on last year's party so you will understand where I am coming from. Last year I was working as a counselor for substance abuse, domestic violence and anger management (yes, I taught anger management. I don't know which is funnier the Adam Sandler movie or the fact that I learned more about how to manage my anger than anyone else in the class. I have a tendency to be on the angry side of things as an individual.) And the little place that I worked was a very tight nit group of people of about 6 of us. When you included signifigant others as well, there were nine. So my boss took us all to Fogo de Chao, which is a high dollar restaurant in Buckhead. It is about $100 a plate and that doesn't include beverages or dessert. So needless to say he dropped a grand on a Christmas shindig. We were all dress very nicely and had a blast being all fancied up and going into the city for a night. Last night was a disaster in comparison. We had cafeteria food, ate in a college dining hall, had a billion kids running all over the place screaming at the top of their lungs, had to sit through a child attempting to sing the twelve days of Chistmas in his own key, which was hysterically funny, and the only really impressive thing was that my super duper boss (the CEO) recited 'Twas the Night Before Christmas by heart with his wife. It was mighty impressive, the recital that is. It only lasted an hour which is not near as much time as I took on doing my hair (which I have come to find is much longer than it used to be and takes a whole lot more time to do anything with as a result of the growth). Everybody kept buzzing around saying "Isn't this just lovely?" and then I realized, they don't know the difference. I do. That is why I was stuggling so with the whole concept. I understand that there are bigger and better things out there. Ignorance is bliss, knowledge is power and knowing about ignorance creates growth. I can see my Mom's face going "What?" The experience as tedious and disappointing as it was, taught me several things: 1) be thankful for what you have, 2) love and tolerance are always the best for any situation and 3) never miss an opportunity to keep your mouth shut. So once I went through the motions of sitting through this I realized that I work for a tremendous family oriented company that is kind, loving and good. Although, there are some things that I don't understand, I do enjoy the company of my co-workers. I don't have to tell everyone that I had a better party last year because that would only be egotistical and arrogant and very disrespectful to my boss, who worked so hard to make good with what she had, my super boss who enjoys the children so much, and my super duper boss, who is one of the best men I have ever met. He is going to match whatever we raise for a Christmas Family this year. He is a really good hearted man. So maybe it wasn't as terrible an event as I first believed, but it sure wore me out. Between having to go through all those thoughts to grow and change my perception and having the sniffles, I was plum tuckered out last night for bed. Thank goodness today is fresh with no mistakes in it.
Into morning,
For the night has been unkind.......
Yeah, so my super boss gave me a copy of the new Sarah McLaughlin CD, wow. Good music. It sounds exactly like her last cd, only better and with different beats and words. These lyrics are particularly comforting after the night I had last night. I went to my first official social outing with the office last night: the office Christmas Party. Now, I should probably give you some background on last year's party so you will understand where I am coming from. Last year I was working as a counselor for substance abuse, domestic violence and anger management (yes, I taught anger management. I don't know which is funnier the Adam Sandler movie or the fact that I learned more about how to manage my anger than anyone else in the class. I have a tendency to be on the angry side of things as an individual.) And the little place that I worked was a very tight nit group of people of about 6 of us. When you included signifigant others as well, there were nine. So my boss took us all to Fogo de Chao, which is a high dollar restaurant in Buckhead. It is about $100 a plate and that doesn't include beverages or dessert. So needless to say he dropped a grand on a Christmas shindig. We were all dress very nicely and had a blast being all fancied up and going into the city for a night. Last night was a disaster in comparison. We had cafeteria food, ate in a college dining hall, had a billion kids running all over the place screaming at the top of their lungs, had to sit through a child attempting to sing the twelve days of Chistmas in his own key, which was hysterically funny, and the only really impressive thing was that my super duper boss (the CEO) recited 'Twas the Night Before Christmas by heart with his wife. It was mighty impressive, the recital that is. It only lasted an hour which is not near as much time as I took on doing my hair (which I have come to find is much longer than it used to be and takes a whole lot more time to do anything with as a result of the growth). Everybody kept buzzing around saying "Isn't this just lovely?" and then I realized, they don't know the difference. I do. That is why I was stuggling so with the whole concept. I understand that there are bigger and better things out there. Ignorance is bliss, knowledge is power and knowing about ignorance creates growth. I can see my Mom's face going "What?" The experience as tedious and disappointing as it was, taught me several things: 1) be thankful for what you have, 2) love and tolerance are always the best for any situation and 3) never miss an opportunity to keep your mouth shut. So once I went through the motions of sitting through this I realized that I work for a tremendous family oriented company that is kind, loving and good. Although, there are some things that I don't understand, I do enjoy the company of my co-workers. I don't have to tell everyone that I had a better party last year because that would only be egotistical and arrogant and very disrespectful to my boss, who worked so hard to make good with what she had, my super boss who enjoys the children so much, and my super duper boss, who is one of the best men I have ever met. He is going to match whatever we raise for a Christmas Family this year. He is a really good hearted man. So maybe it wasn't as terrible an event as I first believed, but it sure wore me out. Between having to go through all those thoughts to grow and change my perception and having the sniffles, I was plum tuckered out last night for bed. Thank goodness today is fresh with no mistakes in it.
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
We meet at the lights
I stare for a while
The world around disappears
Well, fine I am aware, will admit and accept that I have a sickness. It makes me tired and sniffly. It won't allow me to go anywhere with out a tissue in my hand and all I want to do is sleep. I am not sure what this is as a result of other than the fact that it is cold outside and I am in and out of doors all day and inside it is warm but outside it is not. There was a beautiful heavy frost on the ground yesterday morning that told me how cold it was outside. I went to aerobics yesterday and had no energy at all. I almost didn't make it through the class. Ms. Barbra kept saying things like you can do it, put some fire to it. Did I mention that she is a cheerleading coach? I was really glad when it was over. She is nice and all, but when I am sick, I don't much care for anything.
Then a very sad thing happened. I am a Monday freak, which means that Mondays are the busiest days for me. I go, go, go. Yesterday I went, went, stopped. My bridge people weren't there. I went to play bridge and the Greatest Christmas Pagent ever had taken over the bridge players spot. Apparently, the others like myself, couldn't figure out where they moved out card playing spot to, and went home. I did actually find the place we had been replaced at and it was loud and noisy from all the kids. Needless to say, the rest of the group was no where to be found. It was really sad to see the tables all set up and no one in the chairs. It felt very ghost townish.
My mind is still wandering about some of the concepts in the Last Samurai. I am so tickled that there is a good movie out. So since there was no bridge, I went to meet with friends for a birthday and talk about God. It was nice. Afterwards, I got a chance to have dinner with John and chitter chat over quesadillas and carnitas. I really like quesadillas. I think mostly, I just like cheeses. Then I went home to build a fire. Yeah, I thought that I might give up on the whole wood burning stove as being my primary heat source, then I got my power bill: $25!!! This month last year, it was $85. I have saved fifty bucks already, not to mention that last year's January and February bill was $150!!! So I think I will keep building the fires. There is something peaceful about them. As a bonus, all my clothes smell like a wood burning stove. I like that.
I stare for a while
The world around disappears
Well, fine I am aware, will admit and accept that I have a sickness. It makes me tired and sniffly. It won't allow me to go anywhere with out a tissue in my hand and all I want to do is sleep. I am not sure what this is as a result of other than the fact that it is cold outside and I am in and out of doors all day and inside it is warm but outside it is not. There was a beautiful heavy frost on the ground yesterday morning that told me how cold it was outside. I went to aerobics yesterday and had no energy at all. I almost didn't make it through the class. Ms. Barbra kept saying things like you can do it, put some fire to it. Did I mention that she is a cheerleading coach? I was really glad when it was over. She is nice and all, but when I am sick, I don't much care for anything.
Then a very sad thing happened. I am a Monday freak, which means that Mondays are the busiest days for me. I go, go, go. Yesterday I went, went, stopped. My bridge people weren't there. I went to play bridge and the Greatest Christmas Pagent ever had taken over the bridge players spot. Apparently, the others like myself, couldn't figure out where they moved out card playing spot to, and went home. I did actually find the place we had been replaced at and it was loud and noisy from all the kids. Needless to say, the rest of the group was no where to be found. It was really sad to see the tables all set up and no one in the chairs. It felt very ghost townish.
My mind is still wandering about some of the concepts in the Last Samurai. I am so tickled that there is a good movie out. So since there was no bridge, I went to meet with friends for a birthday and talk about God. It was nice. Afterwards, I got a chance to have dinner with John and chitter chat over quesadillas and carnitas. I really like quesadillas. I think mostly, I just like cheeses. Then I went home to build a fire. Yeah, I thought that I might give up on the whole wood burning stove as being my primary heat source, then I got my power bill: $25!!! This month last year, it was $85. I have saved fifty bucks already, not to mention that last year's January and February bill was $150!!! So I think I will keep building the fires. There is something peaceful about them. As a bonus, all my clothes smell like a wood burning stove. I like that.
Monday, December 08, 2003
Oracle: Cookies need love like everything does.
So there was a lot of luv going around this weekend. I helped one of my girlfriends leave her boyfriend this weekend and moved her and her boys into a new house. Wow. Talk about an excursion. I figured that it would take a better part of the morning and get lunch around 1 maybe 2 pm. Wrong. It took from sun up to sun down. Wow, families have lots of stuff. I had no idea. The only time my family has moved has been with professionals. I have never experienced what I went through on Saturday. Wow. It took up my whole day and by the end of it I was exhausted and hungry and unbelievably dirty. So after a good shower, meeting with friends and talking about God, and going to the Huddle for late night chitter chat and visiting, I finally got to the sleep part. I didn't think I would get enough sleep, but I did. Sometimes the need for sleep is greater than the time it takes to meet the need. Zonk out like a light. One of the things I think that made me so tired was the six year old. Whenever children are added to a situation it makes the thing ten times more exerting. They have twice the energy I do.
So on Sunday, I took time for me. I gave myself some TLC. I went home and super cleaned. I went and did some service work and then off to the movies I went. Initially, I thought about Love Actually, but then out of no where I decided to see a seven o'clock Last Samurai. Wow. Go Tom. He did good. Impressively enough, there was no sex and no language per se. In his out breaking film of Top Gun, he went back in and re-filmed the sex scene in order to get the movie more risque. This was just an adult, bohemian story. I will never forget the time my Dad used the word bohemian in front of me: Well, Rachel, La Boheme is just about a bunch of bohemians that's all. Once I found out what the word meant I died laughing at that statement. Anywho. It is a great flick and I will probably spend the hour drive to get to it and pay $8.50 again because it is that good. I didn't get home until 11pm, but I didn't care. I was totally delighted. That's the point of TLC isn't it?
So there was a lot of luv going around this weekend. I helped one of my girlfriends leave her boyfriend this weekend and moved her and her boys into a new house. Wow. Talk about an excursion. I figured that it would take a better part of the morning and get lunch around 1 maybe 2 pm. Wrong. It took from sun up to sun down. Wow, families have lots of stuff. I had no idea. The only time my family has moved has been with professionals. I have never experienced what I went through on Saturday. Wow. It took up my whole day and by the end of it I was exhausted and hungry and unbelievably dirty. So after a good shower, meeting with friends and talking about God, and going to the Huddle for late night chitter chat and visiting, I finally got to the sleep part. I didn't think I would get enough sleep, but I did. Sometimes the need for sleep is greater than the time it takes to meet the need. Zonk out like a light. One of the things I think that made me so tired was the six year old. Whenever children are added to a situation it makes the thing ten times more exerting. They have twice the energy I do.
So on Sunday, I took time for me. I gave myself some TLC. I went home and super cleaned. I went and did some service work and then off to the movies I went. Initially, I thought about Love Actually, but then out of no where I decided to see a seven o'clock Last Samurai. Wow. Go Tom. He did good. Impressively enough, there was no sex and no language per se. In his out breaking film of Top Gun, he went back in and re-filmed the sex scene in order to get the movie more risque. This was just an adult, bohemian story. I will never forget the time my Dad used the word bohemian in front of me: Well, Rachel, La Boheme is just about a bunch of bohemians that's all. Once I found out what the word meant I died laughing at that statement. Anywho. It is a great flick and I will probably spend the hour drive to get to it and pay $8.50 again because it is that good. I didn't get home until 11pm, but I didn't care. I was totally delighted. That's the point of TLC isn't it?
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
Dark and dangerous like a secret
That gets whispered in a hush
So today was only a LITTLE stressful here at work. I had no idea I was going to be the one responsible for my boss's earnings. The report I do is what she gets paid commission off of, which is fine except I didn't find out until 3 pm this after noon and my accuracy still was amiss by 19 out of 413 injections. There were some tears. I don't particularly take to pressure well. I used to cry the night before anything that seemed remotely major when I was little, whether it be a social science project or deciding which college I wanted to go to, I cry under pressure. It always screws everyone around me up too because not very many people with as averagely serious an attitude as myself cry. That's what happens though when you cross my Mom and Dad: a serious cryer.
A friend of mine asked me how my day was a month or so ago and I looked right at her with this very intense, emtional look and said in a not so nice voice with steam coming out of my ears, "Unbelievably Bad, how's yours?" and smiled. She jumped about ten feet and retorted, "Sorry, I am not used to honesty." That is the only way I know how to be with my emtotions though. Honest. That day was unbelievably bad. Today, I am a serious cryer. It's a lot better than being dishonest or numb. But it is like no one likes to talk about emotions except therapists. Guess its an inside thing. Gratefully, I found the lost 19 injections after my pressure releasing cry and I got an extra hour of overtime in too. I know now what I did not know then? Guess so.
That gets whispered in a hush
So today was only a LITTLE stressful here at work. I had no idea I was going to be the one responsible for my boss's earnings. The report I do is what she gets paid commission off of, which is fine except I didn't find out until 3 pm this after noon and my accuracy still was amiss by 19 out of 413 injections. There were some tears. I don't particularly take to pressure well. I used to cry the night before anything that seemed remotely major when I was little, whether it be a social science project or deciding which college I wanted to go to, I cry under pressure. It always screws everyone around me up too because not very many people with as averagely serious an attitude as myself cry. That's what happens though when you cross my Mom and Dad: a serious cryer.
A friend of mine asked me how my day was a month or so ago and I looked right at her with this very intense, emtional look and said in a not so nice voice with steam coming out of my ears, "Unbelievably Bad, how's yours?" and smiled. She jumped about ten feet and retorted, "Sorry, I am not used to honesty." That is the only way I know how to be with my emtotions though. Honest. That day was unbelievably bad. Today, I am a serious cryer. It's a lot better than being dishonest or numb. But it is like no one likes to talk about emotions except therapists. Guess its an inside thing. Gratefully, I found the lost 19 injections after my pressure releasing cry and I got an extra hour of overtime in too. I know now what I did not know then? Guess so.
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
This is a fine kettle of fish you have gotten yourself in this time
So I went yesterday to Walmart for a simple challenge. There was nothing special about the visit: no shopping. Absolutely no shopping. Usually, with this mind set I can go in and get out with out spending more than intended. Do you know how much a quilt hoop costs? 75 cents. So I reach into my purse to hunt for my dollar at the register while standing in line. I hunt. I hunt some more. No dollar. Debit card. Never used that at Walmart before, wonder if it works.....................
I spent $27 on a quilt hoop. Guess the debit card works. It turns out that our Walmart is going to be a super Walmart here soon. There is a whole grocery section now and it is half of what I would spend in the trendy grocery stores and I don't have to have a card to get the price on the shelf. HOW exciting. I felt like I was in the Richway next to my Grandmama and Papa's house in Decatur. There was everything. Somethings I couldn't reach. That was nerve racking. But it gave me the feel of being little again and going to the Richway. I ended up using a cart and everything. I couldn't believe it. I went in for 75 cents. The wacko thing is that if I write a check at Walmart, they won't take it because it is on their non-activated list, whatever that is, but they have no problem taking the card. Imagine that. Ugh. Walmart takes my debit card. Now my urges to go in there will triple. The nice thing about yesterday was that I had the Volvo touch and had the very closest spot in the parking lot. Now that, my friends, takes talent in this rural life. Although I am not sure how much longer Cornelia will be rural. The paper published the ground breaking for a Lowe's behind the old Habersham Bank. Now there will be a Lowe's light and a Walmart light. (This is like the Old Oak Tree directional guide: you go through the Walmart light, go on down past the Dairy Queen and make a left at the feed store and that will take you straight to the square......never mind the other stop lights or that the feed store is unmarked and if closed then you miss it altogether and end up in Mt. Airy. ) I think I am going to have to put myself on a twenty dollar restriction for Walmart now that it is so tantalizing. Oh my...............
So I went yesterday to Walmart for a simple challenge. There was nothing special about the visit: no shopping. Absolutely no shopping. Usually, with this mind set I can go in and get out with out spending more than intended. Do you know how much a quilt hoop costs? 75 cents. So I reach into my purse to hunt for my dollar at the register while standing in line. I hunt. I hunt some more. No dollar. Debit card. Never used that at Walmart before, wonder if it works.....................
I spent $27 on a quilt hoop. Guess the debit card works. It turns out that our Walmart is going to be a super Walmart here soon. There is a whole grocery section now and it is half of what I would spend in the trendy grocery stores and I don't have to have a card to get the price on the shelf. HOW exciting. I felt like I was in the Richway next to my Grandmama and Papa's house in Decatur. There was everything. Somethings I couldn't reach. That was nerve racking. But it gave me the feel of being little again and going to the Richway. I ended up using a cart and everything. I couldn't believe it. I went in for 75 cents. The wacko thing is that if I write a check at Walmart, they won't take it because it is on their non-activated list, whatever that is, but they have no problem taking the card. Imagine that. Ugh. Walmart takes my debit card. Now my urges to go in there will triple. The nice thing about yesterday was that I had the Volvo touch and had the very closest spot in the parking lot. Now that, my friends, takes talent in this rural life. Although I am not sure how much longer Cornelia will be rural. The paper published the ground breaking for a Lowe's behind the old Habersham Bank. Now there will be a Lowe's light and a Walmart light. (This is like the Old Oak Tree directional guide: you go through the Walmart light, go on down past the Dairy Queen and make a left at the feed store and that will take you straight to the square......never mind the other stop lights or that the feed store is unmarked and if closed then you miss it altogether and end up in Mt. Airy. ) I think I am going to have to put myself on a twenty dollar restriction for Walmart now that it is so tantalizing. Oh my...............
Monday, December 01, 2003
I had to go see about a girl....
So I had a tremendous week. I have been going and going like an Energizer Bunny since last Tuesday. I think spending time with family does that to you. Or maybe it is just the holidays in general. Tuesday night I went to a family dinner for Thanksgiving and it was awesome. There were about 150 people there. I kind of consider them my mountain family. They are all the people who have made the trasition to moving up here in the mountains a little bit easier. It was good to see a couple of people who had moved away and there were some new babies too. The food was better this year too. Sometimes you end up with dry turkey when you feed that many people, but they seem to make everything perfect this year.
Thursday was so nice. John went with me to Thanksgiving dinner at my Uncle Bobby's house. It was nice to see everyone again. Little Jack was so toddly. He had that foot slamming thing going on that almost made him tip but not quite. One of the perkiest things about the meal was the banoffee pie. Go Pam. She made a banana/toffee pie that was killer. She is in the up and up in my book. This is the second cool creation she has brought to the family (the first was the apple dip that Mom brought this year, but really is Pam's thing). Good tidings to she,Bill and Little Jack as they bought a house that is only about 45 minutes away from me. Maybe I will go and find out about making those banoffee pies since she is just around the corner.
Friday I had to work. We got 1800lbs of popcorn in for gifts for all the doctors we serve. Can you imagine 1800 lbs of popcorn? They actually sent us 20 extra boxes full because there was some inconvience of something so as a perq they sent extra. Guess what the Green Family is getting for Christmas? Haha. JK. Allthough I don't think it would bother anyone because of the amount of popcorn our family eats on a regular basis. They are cool tins too. I also stuffed 250 Christmas Cards and began the addressing process. Caligraphy. It is not as hard as I thought it would be. Mostly it just takes time. I finished the end of them today. They seemed never ending. We are also planning for our Christmas Party on the 9th of December. Man, marketing is all about the social escapades. It is teaching me a lot working here. If I ever am able to entertain, I will seriously know what to do. The marketing team here is so professional and high end. I like it though. I guess I like it because I don't have to go out into the field which makes things easier. No sales for me thank you. I just do the prep work.
Saturday was my relaxation day. I went to the movie store and conjured up Finding Nemo, which is absolutely fabulous, and Monster's Ball, which.......nevermind, although Halle Berry deserved her oscar, but the movie its self was weird; and an old favorite. I will let everyone guess on that one. It goes with the quote. I also worked on Megan's baby quilt which I should have finished had I not broken my quilting hoop. I am going to Walmart today to get another one. I had a wonderful roaring fire going all day. The weather on Saturday was a steady 40 degrees all day and then dropped off the scales Saturday night. OH!! I forgot to tell you it snowed in Sautee on Friday night! How wonderful was that. It was like driving through a fairy land you see on someone's mantle. It stuck to the sides of the roads, but not on the roads. That just tells me that when it snows here at the end of December, it is going to stay for a while. Apparently it used to be like that on a regular occasion up here and the past couple years there hasn't really been too much snow. Someone said that the snow this year will be exciting.
Sunday was different. John's brother was in town so he rounded up his boys and we all went down to Atlanta to visit. His brother was at his Mom's but came into Atlanta to stay a while and visit with all the Georgia folks. John's Dad met up with up too. We all went to do Atlanta stuff so we ate at the Hardrock Cafe and went to see the orchid exhibit at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens. I had never been to the latter before, but the Gardens were cool and the orchids were tremendous. The were so different and beautiful. There were all kinds from Peru and the Andes to just anything you could imagine. Some of them were carnivourous and some not. It was cool. It was a nice visit with everyone. I was very thankful however with the time to be home last night. I got a fire going even though it wasn't all that cold. I just find comfort in the fires. I lit candles and rested. It was nice. I talked on the phone a bit. I got some sad news that my long time friend, Alan, is for sure going to the middle east. He flies C130's for the Airforce and is leaving by the end of the week. He will probably be there for quite some time and will miss the Christmas Holiday altogether. That was not something I was all that grateful for, but I know that he is serving his country and that is important. I just hope he comes home safe. I think he will be there for a year.
Hurray, today is aerobics and bridge. I didn't get in all my excercising like I wanted to last week because of the days the gym was closed, but hopefully I can work off that banoffee and slide comfortably back into a work out routine. Goodness, this seemed like a long holiday. I can't wait till Christmas though. That is an even cooler holiday with more excitement and merriement.
So I had a tremendous week. I have been going and going like an Energizer Bunny since last Tuesday. I think spending time with family does that to you. Or maybe it is just the holidays in general. Tuesday night I went to a family dinner for Thanksgiving and it was awesome. There were about 150 people there. I kind of consider them my mountain family. They are all the people who have made the trasition to moving up here in the mountains a little bit easier. It was good to see a couple of people who had moved away and there were some new babies too. The food was better this year too. Sometimes you end up with dry turkey when you feed that many people, but they seem to make everything perfect this year.
Thursday was so nice. John went with me to Thanksgiving dinner at my Uncle Bobby's house. It was nice to see everyone again. Little Jack was so toddly. He had that foot slamming thing going on that almost made him tip but not quite. One of the perkiest things about the meal was the banoffee pie. Go Pam. She made a banana/toffee pie that was killer. She is in the up and up in my book. This is the second cool creation she has brought to the family (the first was the apple dip that Mom brought this year, but really is Pam's thing). Good tidings to she,Bill and Little Jack as they bought a house that is only about 45 minutes away from me. Maybe I will go and find out about making those banoffee pies since she is just around the corner.
Friday I had to work. We got 1800lbs of popcorn in for gifts for all the doctors we serve. Can you imagine 1800 lbs of popcorn? They actually sent us 20 extra boxes full because there was some inconvience of something so as a perq they sent extra. Guess what the Green Family is getting for Christmas? Haha. JK. Allthough I don't think it would bother anyone because of the amount of popcorn our family eats on a regular basis. They are cool tins too. I also stuffed 250 Christmas Cards and began the addressing process. Caligraphy. It is not as hard as I thought it would be. Mostly it just takes time. I finished the end of them today. They seemed never ending. We are also planning for our Christmas Party on the 9th of December. Man, marketing is all about the social escapades. It is teaching me a lot working here. If I ever am able to entertain, I will seriously know what to do. The marketing team here is so professional and high end. I like it though. I guess I like it because I don't have to go out into the field which makes things easier. No sales for me thank you. I just do the prep work.
Saturday was my relaxation day. I went to the movie store and conjured up Finding Nemo, which is absolutely fabulous, and Monster's Ball, which.......nevermind, although Halle Berry deserved her oscar, but the movie its self was weird; and an old favorite. I will let everyone guess on that one. It goes with the quote. I also worked on Megan's baby quilt which I should have finished had I not broken my quilting hoop. I am going to Walmart today to get another one. I had a wonderful roaring fire going all day. The weather on Saturday was a steady 40 degrees all day and then dropped off the scales Saturday night. OH!! I forgot to tell you it snowed in Sautee on Friday night! How wonderful was that. It was like driving through a fairy land you see on someone's mantle. It stuck to the sides of the roads, but not on the roads. That just tells me that when it snows here at the end of December, it is going to stay for a while. Apparently it used to be like that on a regular occasion up here and the past couple years there hasn't really been too much snow. Someone said that the snow this year will be exciting.
Sunday was different. John's brother was in town so he rounded up his boys and we all went down to Atlanta to visit. His brother was at his Mom's but came into Atlanta to stay a while and visit with all the Georgia folks. John's Dad met up with up too. We all went to do Atlanta stuff so we ate at the Hardrock Cafe and went to see the orchid exhibit at the Atlanta Botanical Gardens. I had never been to the latter before, but the Gardens were cool and the orchids were tremendous. The were so different and beautiful. There were all kinds from Peru and the Andes to just anything you could imagine. Some of them were carnivourous and some not. It was cool. It was a nice visit with everyone. I was very thankful however with the time to be home last night. I got a fire going even though it wasn't all that cold. I just find comfort in the fires. I lit candles and rested. It was nice. I talked on the phone a bit. I got some sad news that my long time friend, Alan, is for sure going to the middle east. He flies C130's for the Airforce and is leaving by the end of the week. He will probably be there for quite some time and will miss the Christmas Holiday altogether. That was not something I was all that grateful for, but I know that he is serving his country and that is important. I just hope he comes home safe. I think he will be there for a year.
Hurray, today is aerobics and bridge. I didn't get in all my excercising like I wanted to last week because of the days the gym was closed, but hopefully I can work off that banoffee and slide comfortably back into a work out routine. Goodness, this seemed like a long holiday. I can't wait till Christmas though. That is an even cooler holiday with more excitement and merriement.
Tuesday, November 25, 2003
one club
pass
two clubs
pass
five clubs
pass
pass
pass
clubs it is
Man, I had no idea how confusing learning to play bridge really is. The whole idea
behind the bidding is like a second language. In all reality when say two no trumps, I am saying have twenty points!! It's crosstalk in another language. I have played against cross talk for so long that I am having to re-learn how to talk. It's aweful. My partner is trying to tell me to play clubs and I am saying I have a hand full of Aces. I did pretty well last night though I came in fourth place. First place was 2600 points. Second was a tie at 2540 and I was fourth with 2400. I had some really good partners who forced me to bid and play. I only went down once. That's pretty good, all things considered. The other cool thing was that I had a friend join this week. He is pretty good at the whole bridge thing and appropriately his nick name is Deck. He is also a genius if you ask me. He reminds me of my brother except that he's not. We had a good time last night. All the old ladies just coo-ed over him because he is young and already knew how to play.
My aerobics instructor is so awesome. Her name is Barbra and she is beautiful, teaches aerobics, cheerleading, has two kids and is engaged on her second marriage to a dutiful city official, not to mention keeps three homes and is renovating one of them all on her own. Can you imagine doing all that and being beautiful to boot? I think I want to grow up to be like her.....or at least my perception of her. Although instead of coaching cheerleading, I would rather be a swim coach or something. Maybe a little kids piano teacher like my mom. I can only keep up with her about seventy percent of the time. The rest of the time I am lost in routine or getting water or stumbling because I am so tired.
Mondays are so packed for me. I like it though. It makes me feel really alive when I go and do so much. The only thing is usually Tuesdays are kind of a catch up day, but tonight I have a turkey dinner to go to so I will be out on the town again tonight. Tonight is one of my favorite events because it is like a kick off for football season, but instead it is the kick off for the holidays and I am all about the holidays. I am slowly but surely booking dates up in December. More likely than not there won't be a whole lot of room for much other than enjoying the love and laughter of friends. ahh........if you haven't got a hay-penny then God Bless You!
pass
two clubs
pass
five clubs
pass
pass
pass
clubs it is
Man, I had no idea how confusing learning to play bridge really is. The whole idea
behind the bidding is like a second language. In all reality when say two no trumps, I am saying have twenty points!! It's crosstalk in another language. I have played against cross talk for so long that I am having to re-learn how to talk. It's aweful. My partner is trying to tell me to play clubs and I am saying I have a hand full of Aces. I did pretty well last night though I came in fourth place. First place was 2600 points. Second was a tie at 2540 and I was fourth with 2400. I had some really good partners who forced me to bid and play. I only went down once. That's pretty good, all things considered. The other cool thing was that I had a friend join this week. He is pretty good at the whole bridge thing and appropriately his nick name is Deck. He is also a genius if you ask me. He reminds me of my brother except that he's not. We had a good time last night. All the old ladies just coo-ed over him because he is young and already knew how to play.
My aerobics instructor is so awesome. Her name is Barbra and she is beautiful, teaches aerobics, cheerleading, has two kids and is engaged on her second marriage to a dutiful city official, not to mention keeps three homes and is renovating one of them all on her own. Can you imagine doing all that and being beautiful to boot? I think I want to grow up to be like her.....or at least my perception of her. Although instead of coaching cheerleading, I would rather be a swim coach or something. Maybe a little kids piano teacher like my mom. I can only keep up with her about seventy percent of the time. The rest of the time I am lost in routine or getting water or stumbling because I am so tired.
Mondays are so packed for me. I like it though. It makes me feel really alive when I go and do so much. The only thing is usually Tuesdays are kind of a catch up day, but tonight I have a turkey dinner to go to so I will be out on the town again tonight. Tonight is one of my favorite events because it is like a kick off for football season, but instead it is the kick off for the holidays and I am all about the holidays. I am slowly but surely booking dates up in December. More likely than not there won't be a whole lot of room for much other than enjoying the love and laughter of friends. ahh........if you haven't got a hay-penny then God Bless You!
Monday, November 24, 2003
This is the most fun.......
So since I went off the deep end and attended a GOP dinner, I had to counter balance my internal scale. Saturday night I attended a home dinner party. The home was built on the largest blue crystal in the US. I got to hang out with a whole bunch of women who "loathed" W. It was funny too because someone said that they hated W and another woman mentioned that if you truly hate somehthing it will come back on you two-fold: I said, yeah Bush has twins. There were all kinds of vegetarian dishes and the theme for the evening was: what animal guides your spirit. I almost burst into laughter when the power animal theme was brought up because it made me think of Fight Club and the guided meditation group. This bunch of women were so out there. They were unbelievably cool. It was much more my cup of tea than the elephants. We laughed and cryed. There were pictures and love. The stories shared and experience had were priceless. The women decided that we were all going to Key West for a week this summer. That would be cool. Twelve earthmuffins in Key West living it up........
Yes, in my heart I am an earthmuffin.
On Friday night I had a blast too. I went to another woman's house for an old fashioned spend the night party. When I told one of my co-workers about it, she thought I was crazy and said that she had been married for 14 years and had two kids, she didn't do things like that. I didn't have the heart to tell her that everywoman needs her girlfriends sometimes. Maybe she doesn't have any. That would be sad, not to have girlfriends. That was the whole premise as to why Devine Secrets sold so well is because everyone wants girlfriends like that: the kind that are there from when you are five until you are gone (which is also why it is fiction: hardly ever happens). I am very grateful for my girlfriends today. They make me laugh and cry. They love and I get to love them. They hold my hand through the rough and tumble and I get to be their shoulder for the sad and humble. (I wasn't sure I was going to be able to rhyme that, but it works.) Girls night in is always the best because we get to bare our souls and tell the most abominable secrets. Can't do that in front of a boy. Someone always ends up hooking up with the guy.
Sunday was tremendous. I went to here Dad's girls sing at the Presbyterian Church in Gainseville. It is sure is nice that he has a friend there, because then I get to see my folks more often. It was so funny because the first group sang and it was: yea they were good. Then the second group sang and it was: yea they were good too. The first two were college. The Patriot choir and the select women from NGC. The sang very pleasantly. The coolest was that the Patriot choir sang the song that coach taught to the Georgia Men's Glee Club and that brought up fun memories. Then Dad's girls got up and it was:................they are in highschool? HURRAY FOR PRETTY YOUNG WOMEN WHO CAN REALLY SING!!!!! Go McIntosh. Then after that everyone got a standing ovation because the audience felt the necessity to be polite. The church choir sang a really wierd piece that wasn't easy. I mentioned it to mom and she said something about the Minister being a sidekick of Dad's. Explains it. It sounded like a Dad song. Not very many people come up with the music Dad finds. He found a troll encantation for his girls to sing once. Other highschool women are singing Wind Beneath My Wings or the newest lullaby from Disney and Dad's girls are singing unpublished requiems. It's different. Then I went to meet with friends and talk about God. God is great. Especially when I let Him be. It makes life easier when I include God, because I get to have weekends like this past one.....and they are the most fun.
So since I went off the deep end and attended a GOP dinner, I had to counter balance my internal scale. Saturday night I attended a home dinner party. The home was built on the largest blue crystal in the US. I got to hang out with a whole bunch of women who "loathed" W. It was funny too because someone said that they hated W and another woman mentioned that if you truly hate somehthing it will come back on you two-fold: I said, yeah Bush has twins. There were all kinds of vegetarian dishes and the theme for the evening was: what animal guides your spirit. I almost burst into laughter when the power animal theme was brought up because it made me think of Fight Club and the guided meditation group. This bunch of women were so out there. They were unbelievably cool. It was much more my cup of tea than the elephants. We laughed and cryed. There were pictures and love. The stories shared and experience had were priceless. The women decided that we were all going to Key West for a week this summer. That would be cool. Twelve earthmuffins in Key West living it up........
Yes, in my heart I am an earthmuffin.
On Friday night I had a blast too. I went to another woman's house for an old fashioned spend the night party. When I told one of my co-workers about it, she thought I was crazy and said that she had been married for 14 years and had two kids, she didn't do things like that. I didn't have the heart to tell her that everywoman needs her girlfriends sometimes. Maybe she doesn't have any. That would be sad, not to have girlfriends. That was the whole premise as to why Devine Secrets sold so well is because everyone wants girlfriends like that: the kind that are there from when you are five until you are gone (which is also why it is fiction: hardly ever happens). I am very grateful for my girlfriends today. They make me laugh and cry. They love and I get to love them. They hold my hand through the rough and tumble and I get to be their shoulder for the sad and humble. (I wasn't sure I was going to be able to rhyme that, but it works.) Girls night in is always the best because we get to bare our souls and tell the most abominable secrets. Can't do that in front of a boy. Someone always ends up hooking up with the guy.
Sunday was tremendous. I went to here Dad's girls sing at the Presbyterian Church in Gainseville. It is sure is nice that he has a friend there, because then I get to see my folks more often. It was so funny because the first group sang and it was: yea they were good. Then the second group sang and it was: yea they were good too. The first two were college. The Patriot choir and the select women from NGC. The sang very pleasantly. The coolest was that the Patriot choir sang the song that coach taught to the Georgia Men's Glee Club and that brought up fun memories. Then Dad's girls got up and it was:................they are in highschool? HURRAY FOR PRETTY YOUNG WOMEN WHO CAN REALLY SING!!!!! Go McIntosh. Then after that everyone got a standing ovation because the audience felt the necessity to be polite. The church choir sang a really wierd piece that wasn't easy. I mentioned it to mom and she said something about the Minister being a sidekick of Dad's. Explains it. It sounded like a Dad song. Not very many people come up with the music Dad finds. He found a troll encantation for his girls to sing once. Other highschool women are singing Wind Beneath My Wings or the newest lullaby from Disney and Dad's girls are singing unpublished requiems. It's different. Then I went to meet with friends and talk about God. God is great. Especially when I let Him be. It makes life easier when I include God, because I get to have weekends like this past one.....and they are the most fun.
Thursday, November 20, 2003
If we shadows have offended,
Think but this and all is mended,
That you have but slumbered here,
While these visions did appear,
So I went and did a funny thing last night. I went to a republican party rally for Lumpkin County. Wierd. I felt like I was spying on the enemy in a Mission Impossible movie. It was so much fun. It turns out that my boyfriend had the tickets for two weeks and didn't tell me because he was afraid to ask me to go. There is nothing like politics to get the blood boiling and thoughts rolling around in my head. The keynote speaker was a very insightful political stategist: Dr. Ralph Reed. He was a tremendous speaker right up until he said 2000 and one. All I could think was, oh well, there is something wrong with everyone. There were only a few times that I thought I might throw up due to the disagreement factor going on in my head. Mostly, what I enjoyed was all the excitement that was in the air with all the people who came to listen and hurrah and go coocoo for cocoa puffs. It was really cool to see the expressed patriotism and the participation in our nation's inner workings first hand. Things like last night are things that you only see in the movies. They bashed Dr. Dean and hurrayed W. They also uplifted the local politicians too, which was really neat to see them. Up here in the mountains, if you don't know who the person is that is running for an office personally, you don't really get a look at them. I have actually only ever seen one politician in White County and that was only because the owner of the restaurant I worked for told me who the guy was, other wise I'd have just thought he was another customer. The politics in White County are a little more dixie mafia oriented than Lumpkin County, which makes elections a little more pre-set than usual. The republicans are running scared on the next gubenatorial election though. That was one thing that I don't think they realize: why there is a republican in the governor's seat. They see it is as much a fluke as Zell Miller acting republican. They quoted Zell, by the way, and I just laughed. Not loudly mind you. There is just something exciting about politics no matter what side of the fence someone sits. I don't know if it is the innate American characteristic or what, but there is something to standing up for what one believes. One of my favorite lines in regards to clear cut citizenship for this country is from "The American President" : "America, America is about advanced citizenship. You have to really want it. You have to be willing to sit and listen to a man who would stand shouting at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime to oppose. It is about have a flag to represent that freedom and also about burning that same flag in an effort to exercise that same right. You want a character debate Bob?....." Well from that point the speech goes into the movie. There used to be a disc jockey on the country station in Atlanta who used to be very adament about freedoms and would let someone on his show who would go off on a tyraid about something he specifically disagreed with for no other reason than to prove the point of freedom. I guess what is so intrigueing about all of it is the human emotion factor. I have seen a lot of sickness and grief and depression in my life, but it is rare that I have had the priveledge to experience emotional rushes like winning a football game or meeting a role model. I do remember going with my Dad down to the corner of Lakeshore and waving at the President as he drove out of the VFW in his limo and going to the rally in the middle of Decatur to shake the future President's hand. I also remember watching Denise Forrester carrying the Olympic torch through Avondale and passing it off to someone else before running it into the new stadium for the opening ceremonies. Those were rushes of excitement in emotion that if I could bottle and sell, I would be a millionaire. Maybe then I'd be republican too. Nah. Not enough money.
Think but this and all is mended,
That you have but slumbered here,
While these visions did appear,
So I went and did a funny thing last night. I went to a republican party rally for Lumpkin County. Wierd. I felt like I was spying on the enemy in a Mission Impossible movie. It was so much fun. It turns out that my boyfriend had the tickets for two weeks and didn't tell me because he was afraid to ask me to go. There is nothing like politics to get the blood boiling and thoughts rolling around in my head. The keynote speaker was a very insightful political stategist: Dr. Ralph Reed. He was a tremendous speaker right up until he said 2000 and one. All I could think was, oh well, there is something wrong with everyone. There were only a few times that I thought I might throw up due to the disagreement factor going on in my head. Mostly, what I enjoyed was all the excitement that was in the air with all the people who came to listen and hurrah and go coocoo for cocoa puffs. It was really cool to see the expressed patriotism and the participation in our nation's inner workings first hand. Things like last night are things that you only see in the movies. They bashed Dr. Dean and hurrayed W. They also uplifted the local politicians too, which was really neat to see them. Up here in the mountains, if you don't know who the person is that is running for an office personally, you don't really get a look at them. I have actually only ever seen one politician in White County and that was only because the owner of the restaurant I worked for told me who the guy was, other wise I'd have just thought he was another customer. The politics in White County are a little more dixie mafia oriented than Lumpkin County, which makes elections a little more pre-set than usual. The republicans are running scared on the next gubenatorial election though. That was one thing that I don't think they realize: why there is a republican in the governor's seat. They see it is as much a fluke as Zell Miller acting republican. They quoted Zell, by the way, and I just laughed. Not loudly mind you. There is just something exciting about politics no matter what side of the fence someone sits. I don't know if it is the innate American characteristic or what, but there is something to standing up for what one believes. One of my favorite lines in regards to clear cut citizenship for this country is from "The American President" : "America, America is about advanced citizenship. You have to really want it. You have to be willing to sit and listen to a man who would stand shouting at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime to oppose. It is about have a flag to represent that freedom and also about burning that same flag in an effort to exercise that same right. You want a character debate Bob?....." Well from that point the speech goes into the movie. There used to be a disc jockey on the country station in Atlanta who used to be very adament about freedoms and would let someone on his show who would go off on a tyraid about something he specifically disagreed with for no other reason than to prove the point of freedom. I guess what is so intrigueing about all of it is the human emotion factor. I have seen a lot of sickness and grief and depression in my life, but it is rare that I have had the priveledge to experience emotional rushes like winning a football game or meeting a role model. I do remember going with my Dad down to the corner of Lakeshore and waving at the President as he drove out of the VFW in his limo and going to the rally in the middle of Decatur to shake the future President's hand. I also remember watching Denise Forrester carrying the Olympic torch through Avondale and passing it off to someone else before running it into the new stadium for the opening ceremonies. Those were rushes of excitement in emotion that if I could bottle and sell, I would be a millionaire. Maybe then I'd be republican too. Nah. Not enough money.
Monday, November 17, 2003
From Sautee, where all the men are handsome, the women strong and the children above average.........
I am so excited. White County has won their very first football game of the year and it is their very last game of the season. Hurray!! They got one! I feel so at home, our football team never won. We didn't even beat Chamblee and they were the second worst in the county! White County would have beaten us. I also got a truckload of wood and lit a fire this weekend. It was awesome. There is nothing like a wood fire to make a small apartment feel homey. It was snuggle time with movies and books and blankets, hot chocolate and warm tea. I also went to see the last Matrix on the big screen in Buford. Wow, that was a ta da movie. Good luck to anyone who chooses to attempt to meet the bar that movie set with computer graphics, plot or confusion. The Matrix movies are a little heady, but they are increasingly good. I also spent a good deal of time quilting. I am, one day, going to finish this crazy little quilt. I think that I am being a little too obssesive about it, but whatever, I am quilting. I am not pieceing or layering, I am quilting. Finally, I am almost done. I figure by the end of the week I will be good to go. I also got to go out with friends on Saturday night. That was nice. We went to the Nacoochee Grill. I had my favorite dessert while others had dinner. It is a blondie heated with chocolate syrup and no ice cream. I don't normally order complicated items, but I used to work there and it is hard not to order what you want when you know they have got it and is not that difficult to make. Knowing too much sometimes comes with complication. Ignorance makes for simplicity. We had a good waitress though and that makes a difference. That is all from this side of the valley. Toodaloo.
I am so excited. White County has won their very first football game of the year and it is their very last game of the season. Hurray!! They got one! I feel so at home, our football team never won. We didn't even beat Chamblee and they were the second worst in the county! White County would have beaten us. I also got a truckload of wood and lit a fire this weekend. It was awesome. There is nothing like a wood fire to make a small apartment feel homey. It was snuggle time with movies and books and blankets, hot chocolate and warm tea. I also went to see the last Matrix on the big screen in Buford. Wow, that was a ta da movie. Good luck to anyone who chooses to attempt to meet the bar that movie set with computer graphics, plot or confusion. The Matrix movies are a little heady, but they are increasingly good. I also spent a good deal of time quilting. I am, one day, going to finish this crazy little quilt. I think that I am being a little too obssesive about it, but whatever, I am quilting. I am not pieceing or layering, I am quilting. Finally, I am almost done. I figure by the end of the week I will be good to go. I also got to go out with friends on Saturday night. That was nice. We went to the Nacoochee Grill. I had my favorite dessert while others had dinner. It is a blondie heated with chocolate syrup and no ice cream. I don't normally order complicated items, but I used to work there and it is hard not to order what you want when you know they have got it and is not that difficult to make. Knowing too much sometimes comes with complication. Ignorance makes for simplicity. We had a good waitress though and that makes a difference. That is all from this side of the valley. Toodaloo.
Wednesday, November 12, 2003
¿Que es su nombre?
So a last minute squeeze play was pulled on me today by a co-worker who figured out I could speak español! Trying to speak medicine and spanish is really complicated. Thank goodness for the internet. There is a terrific on-line dictionary and translator(for when I really got stuck). Who knew that Spanish would ever come in handy. What is really strange is for the amount of schooling I have had, I can't speak a lick unless put in a position where I have no other choice. Then it is like magic. My tongue gets going and my mind quits thinking and then íHablo español! It's amazing how that works. The only other time my Spanish ever really came in handy was in the kitchen at OutBack. The men on the back line were all Hispanic and they'd stop talking when I came around, because they knew I understood them. They also would do anything I asked them because I spoke to them in their language. People thought I was crazy, which they are right, but it was an efficient tool when you need a thunder on the fly. Yeah, spanish and restaurant was just as strange as medicine and spanish. I am very grateful I didn't have to use button factory and spanish!! Ugh! What a confusion that would be! I guess six years of schooling paid off in a little bit of education. I have been told that education is the memory tank you are left with after you leave the learning environment. I guess that means that I am spanish educated because I remember bits of it. I really get a kick out of the fact that my mom learned her numbers in spanish from Maria on Seasame Street! Go Mom! For me, I like best when my brain switches into overdrive and the spanish mode takes over. It is like shifting gears. Amazing how this crazy think tank attached to my shoulder works sometimes.
So a last minute squeeze play was pulled on me today by a co-worker who figured out I could speak español! Trying to speak medicine and spanish is really complicated. Thank goodness for the internet. There is a terrific on-line dictionary and translator(for when I really got stuck). Who knew that Spanish would ever come in handy. What is really strange is for the amount of schooling I have had, I can't speak a lick unless put in a position where I have no other choice. Then it is like magic. My tongue gets going and my mind quits thinking and then íHablo español! It's amazing how that works. The only other time my Spanish ever really came in handy was in the kitchen at OutBack. The men on the back line were all Hispanic and they'd stop talking when I came around, because they knew I understood them. They also would do anything I asked them because I spoke to them in their language. People thought I was crazy, which they are right, but it was an efficient tool when you need a thunder on the fly. Yeah, spanish and restaurant was just as strange as medicine and spanish. I am very grateful I didn't have to use button factory and spanish!! Ugh! What a confusion that would be! I guess six years of schooling paid off in a little bit of education. I have been told that education is the memory tank you are left with after you leave the learning environment. I guess that means that I am spanish educated because I remember bits of it. I really get a kick out of the fact that my mom learned her numbers in spanish from Maria on Seasame Street! Go Mom! For me, I like best when my brain switches into overdrive and the spanish mode takes over. It is like shifting gears. Amazing how this crazy think tank attached to my shoulder works sometimes.
Tuesday, November 11, 2003
Guys, we haven't slept in three years. Don't you think we could take a break for one night and enjoy each other?
Oh yeah, it's Christmas!
It's Christmas?
Yeah, didn't you get the memo?
Something I don't think that people who live in a two million person city (or five million, whatever) realize is that I am not used to being surrounded with a whole lot of people because I am here in the middle of the mountains. Generally speaking, that is one of the main reasons I live here: peace and quiet. There are only a few things up here that attract a few hundred people at one locale: a) the Habersham County revival at the highschool (or White County and it is at the stadiums in the highschools because these are the only facilities large enough to sustain a crowd that size) or b) Walmart. Now, I am not a very big Walmart fan unless it is two o'clock in the morning when no one is there. See, Walmart is dangerous in the mass confusion of a) bunch of people who don't typically have any driving experience with traffic b) consumption overdrives c) basic turmoil of any situation when combined with children under the age of five and seeing as White County has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the state, you can imagine the amount of children with children this incurs. Now, I was sent on a mission yesterday to Walmart. It was the middle of the day for work and I figure it probably wouldn't be that bad--nothing can be as bad as Saturdays. Well, wrong again. The place was packed. I am not sure exactly what was happening, but there were a gozillion people there. It wasn't pay day, it was Monday at almost two o'clock in the afternoon. I was looking for those ever so delightful stackable crates. Something of note as well is that the Walmart that is available to me is slowly being processed into a super Walmart and this means that things are pretty topsy turvy on the inside. Once I found the container section, which had been moved, I went on the hunt. After wandering around for ten minutes, I finally found a wonderful Walmart person who informed me (I will give Walmart this: their personnel is awesome. They are always kind and smiling.) that they don't carry the stackable crates except during the back to school season and this was the Christmas season..................WHAT? I thought that I was supposed to be prepping for Thanksgiving not Christmas! All the sudden I looked around and the Walmart smelled of cinnimon and pine and there were wreaths and red candles out and about. There were tunes on their instore TVs that were jingling. I couldn't believe it! Santa didn't even make it down to the Macy's star yet and Christmas was already in Walmart! Now, don't get me wrong, I love Christmas. It is my favorite time of the year because of the music and family, food and fun! All I want to know is............................why didn't someone send me a memo?
Oh yeah, it's Christmas!
It's Christmas?
Yeah, didn't you get the memo?
Something I don't think that people who live in a two million person city (or five million, whatever) realize is that I am not used to being surrounded with a whole lot of people because I am here in the middle of the mountains. Generally speaking, that is one of the main reasons I live here: peace and quiet. There are only a few things up here that attract a few hundred people at one locale: a) the Habersham County revival at the highschool (or White County and it is at the stadiums in the highschools because these are the only facilities large enough to sustain a crowd that size) or b) Walmart. Now, I am not a very big Walmart fan unless it is two o'clock in the morning when no one is there. See, Walmart is dangerous in the mass confusion of a) bunch of people who don't typically have any driving experience with traffic b) consumption overdrives c) basic turmoil of any situation when combined with children under the age of five and seeing as White County has the highest teen pregnancy rate in the state, you can imagine the amount of children with children this incurs. Now, I was sent on a mission yesterday to Walmart. It was the middle of the day for work and I figure it probably wouldn't be that bad--nothing can be as bad as Saturdays. Well, wrong again. The place was packed. I am not sure exactly what was happening, but there were a gozillion people there. It wasn't pay day, it was Monday at almost two o'clock in the afternoon. I was looking for those ever so delightful stackable crates. Something of note as well is that the Walmart that is available to me is slowly being processed into a super Walmart and this means that things are pretty topsy turvy on the inside. Once I found the container section, which had been moved, I went on the hunt. After wandering around for ten minutes, I finally found a wonderful Walmart person who informed me (I will give Walmart this: their personnel is awesome. They are always kind and smiling.) that they don't carry the stackable crates except during the back to school season and this was the Christmas season..................WHAT? I thought that I was supposed to be prepping for Thanksgiving not Christmas! All the sudden I looked around and the Walmart smelled of cinnimon and pine and there were wreaths and red candles out and about. There were tunes on their instore TVs that were jingling. I couldn't believe it! Santa didn't even make it down to the Macy's star yet and Christmas was already in Walmart! Now, don't get me wrong, I love Christmas. It is my favorite time of the year because of the music and family, food and fun! All I want to know is............................why didn't someone send me a memo?
Monday, November 10, 2003
I couldn't escape the memory
Of a phone call and of what you said
So I got a very disturbing phone call yesterday saying that one of the reasons I am not emotionally doing well is due to the baggage I am toting. Who knew? Yes, I have been carrying around a few pieces of luggage, but I thought they were carry on size and it turns out they are breaking my back. This was the whole reasoning behind the finding out what I want that began last week. Turns out, I won't know until I unpack/unload. Just the same, some of my desires are already occuring, which is a good thing.
I got to hang out with several different girlfriend last week. I began quilting the piece top I've been working on for a baby blanket for another girlfriend (well her baby, not her). I watched all kinds of movies. I had a spectacular cleaning day on Saturday. My apartment in so nice and so clean, clean. I also purchased I three piece living room set. I got a couch, love seat and chair. They moved in on Saturday too. Saturday was a busy day for me. I cleaned, moved furniture, spent time with John and went out with a girlfriend for dinner, not to mention meeting with friends to talk about God. All that in one day. It was awesome. Sunday was spent in front of a movie screen and I really wasn't watching, mostly I was just quilting. Sunday night I was on the phone with friends for a good portion of it. I unloaded some of the baggage too and that helped a lot. Then I spent more time on the phone in the dark with all my candles lit, so it wasn't really dark, sipping tea and hot cocoa. Then I just prayed for a while. There is something about candles and prayer. I know it is a Catholic thing, but I am not Catholic. For me it is a soothing thing. These are all different things that were on my desires list. It was as though the weekend was never going to end or maybe just my desires won't.
The straigtening out phone call was totally worth the effort--straightening out means that there are exhausting emotions envolved and usually crying, which this one did, and begining to breath. It is almost a cathartic. Today, I feel a little better and by tomorrow I expect to be flying high again. Hopefully, tonight after the gym I will get to play bridge. I have never done it before, but there is a game night up at the center that I want to participate in tonight. Just another desire. They say a desire is a prayer, maybe that means I have one.
Of a phone call and of what you said
So I got a very disturbing phone call yesterday saying that one of the reasons I am not emotionally doing well is due to the baggage I am toting. Who knew? Yes, I have been carrying around a few pieces of luggage, but I thought they were carry on size and it turns out they are breaking my back. This was the whole reasoning behind the finding out what I want that began last week. Turns out, I won't know until I unpack/unload. Just the same, some of my desires are already occuring, which is a good thing.
I got to hang out with several different girlfriend last week. I began quilting the piece top I've been working on for a baby blanket for another girlfriend (well her baby, not her). I watched all kinds of movies. I had a spectacular cleaning day on Saturday. My apartment in so nice and so clean, clean. I also purchased I three piece living room set. I got a couch, love seat and chair. They moved in on Saturday too. Saturday was a busy day for me. I cleaned, moved furniture, spent time with John and went out with a girlfriend for dinner, not to mention meeting with friends to talk about God. All that in one day. It was awesome. Sunday was spent in front of a movie screen and I really wasn't watching, mostly I was just quilting. Sunday night I was on the phone with friends for a good portion of it. I unloaded some of the baggage too and that helped a lot. Then I spent more time on the phone in the dark with all my candles lit, so it wasn't really dark, sipping tea and hot cocoa. Then I just prayed for a while. There is something about candles and prayer. I know it is a Catholic thing, but I am not Catholic. For me it is a soothing thing. These are all different things that were on my desires list. It was as though the weekend was never going to end or maybe just my desires won't.
The straigtening out phone call was totally worth the effort--straightening out means that there are exhausting emotions envolved and usually crying, which this one did, and begining to breath. It is almost a cathartic. Today, I feel a little better and by tomorrow I expect to be flying high again. Hopefully, tonight after the gym I will get to play bridge. I have never done it before, but there is a game night up at the center that I want to participate in tonight. Just another desire. They say a desire is a prayer, maybe that means I have one.
Friday, November 07, 2003
Scarecrows dressed in the latest styles,
the frozen smiles to chase love away.
So I have tried to post this blog three times now and have been unsuccessful. I think maybe I wasn't supposed to post that topic so I am going to switch topics. I have seen some strange movies here in the last week and I finally got to one I really liked. Strangely enough, it was Legally Blonde 2. That is how weird the other movies were. Of course, I am also a girl who likes warm fuzzie movies. The thing I really like about the Blonde movies is that they are really about a woman, about my age, with an overzealous, positive attitude who runs into troubles and still comes out on top via discovering herself. Discovering the self is what I am all about. Lately, I have definitely been discovering. At work, on my fancy new computer, I have been able to listen to whatever I want to as far as music is concerned, so I have been listening to the Broadway channel and today I am listening to classical out of Seattle. My desires list is complete too. I mean, well not complete, but .......well complete sounds too finite, maybe written, no........has begun. I like that. I have begun my desires list. It is nice and long and Michelle tells me to do one a week if I can for however long. I will be quite a busy gal. I think one of the many things that I want to do is to take a trip on my own. Perhaps to see relatives all over the country or something. I have people in Washington DC and people in California. Maybe it is time for an excusion. I am very excited because I have a bowling date with the women on Saturday, which is one of the things on my list. Tonight is super cleaning night. I am going to over haul the apartment. I will probably watch movies too. I have to be prepared, now that it is slowly but surely getting cold, to clean now because critters will try to come in and harbor warmth in my home otherwise. No critters thank you. You know the one thing I found quite humorous about Elle in the new Blonde is that she becomes more and more a hippy the longer the movie rolls on. That was a very cute touch in the film. That is one of the reasons I like living in Sautee is because it is known for its hippies. I wouldn't mind being like Elle, as long as I don't have to go to law school. Independence is so hard to find with out walking right into the face of loneliness. Understanding that faith with in myself is a faith with in God is.............hard. Wouldn't it be great if life's truths were able to reveil themselves just like the movies in that nice comfortable 100 minute span? I wish.
the frozen smiles to chase love away.
So I have tried to post this blog three times now and have been unsuccessful. I think maybe I wasn't supposed to post that topic so I am going to switch topics. I have seen some strange movies here in the last week and I finally got to one I really liked. Strangely enough, it was Legally Blonde 2. That is how weird the other movies were. Of course, I am also a girl who likes warm fuzzie movies. The thing I really like about the Blonde movies is that they are really about a woman, about my age, with an overzealous, positive attitude who runs into troubles and still comes out on top via discovering herself. Discovering the self is what I am all about. Lately, I have definitely been discovering. At work, on my fancy new computer, I have been able to listen to whatever I want to as far as music is concerned, so I have been listening to the Broadway channel and today I am listening to classical out of Seattle. My desires list is complete too. I mean, well not complete, but .......well complete sounds too finite, maybe written, no........has begun. I like that. I have begun my desires list. It is nice and long and Michelle tells me to do one a week if I can for however long. I will be quite a busy gal. I think one of the many things that I want to do is to take a trip on my own. Perhaps to see relatives all over the country or something. I have people in Washington DC and people in California. Maybe it is time for an excusion. I am very excited because I have a bowling date with the women on Saturday, which is one of the things on my list. Tonight is super cleaning night. I am going to over haul the apartment. I will probably watch movies too. I have to be prepared, now that it is slowly but surely getting cold, to clean now because critters will try to come in and harbor warmth in my home otherwise. No critters thank you. You know the one thing I found quite humorous about Elle in the new Blonde is that she becomes more and more a hippy the longer the movie rolls on. That was a very cute touch in the film. That is one of the reasons I like living in Sautee is because it is known for its hippies. I wouldn't mind being like Elle, as long as I don't have to go to law school. Independence is so hard to find with out walking right into the face of loneliness. Understanding that faith with in myself is a faith with in God is.............hard. Wouldn't it be great if life's truths were able to reveil themselves just like the movies in that nice comfortable 100 minute span? I wish.
Wednesday, November 05, 2003
Santa Fe
Are you there?
Do you swear you won't forget me?
If I found you would you let me come and stay?
I ain't gettin' any younger
And before my dyin' day
I want space
Not just air
Let 'em laugh in my face
I don't care
Save a place
I'll be there
Dreams are so much fun but can be so overwhelming when I am asked on the spot what they are. I found one thing that I want. I want the Newsies DVD. I also still have the house and dog thing kicking. You know after all that heartache and feeling socially inept? I had three women call me and I called two women, one of which I spent thirty minutes on the phone with and the other with whom I spent about three or four hours with on her back porch. I don't think there is much wrong with my socialization when I excercise it. So I was super grateful to spend time with my girlfriend last night just talking on her back porch and drinking coffee. She is so comforting to just be around. Whenever I start thinking I don't have any girlfriends, I realize mostly that it is not that I don't have any, I am just not calling the right ones. Golly, four women calling me or talking to me in one day. I think the planets must be coming into alignment or something. I think that I am going to get a phish......fish. Maybe something that doesn't live too long so I won't get emotionally attached. We used to have fish when I was growing up. The tank was BIG. Or at least to me it was big. It was in the den on the opposite wall of the piano. We had a good stash of them until we got a jack dempsy for 99 cents and now we know why he was 99 cents. He ate ALL the other fish!! Even the silver dollars that were the size of my palm. We'd had the silver dollars for about three years or something. Dad took it back. He was a mean little guy. Fish. This sounds like a good investment of my time as well as a good excuse as to why I should go home at least once a day. It would help ground me in my home and keep me focused on who I am and what I want. I guess I want a fish.............................that's not nearly as romantic as going to Sante Fe. Coffee is more romantic that fish. I know I want coffee. Good coffee. It is the only thing I have left on my grocery list, but I have to go see Eric and Anna. I am going to treat myself to their coffee and maybe spend a Saturday on the porch. I know I want that. Coffee and friends. You betcha. Fish-maybe.
Are you there?
Do you swear you won't forget me?
If I found you would you let me come and stay?
I ain't gettin' any younger
And before my dyin' day
I want space
Not just air
Let 'em laugh in my face
I don't care
Save a place
I'll be there
Dreams are so much fun but can be so overwhelming when I am asked on the spot what they are. I found one thing that I want. I want the Newsies DVD. I also still have the house and dog thing kicking. You know after all that heartache and feeling socially inept? I had three women call me and I called two women, one of which I spent thirty minutes on the phone with and the other with whom I spent about three or four hours with on her back porch. I don't think there is much wrong with my socialization when I excercise it. So I was super grateful to spend time with my girlfriend last night just talking on her back porch and drinking coffee. She is so comforting to just be around. Whenever I start thinking I don't have any girlfriends, I realize mostly that it is not that I don't have any, I am just not calling the right ones. Golly, four women calling me or talking to me in one day. I think the planets must be coming into alignment or something. I think that I am going to get a phish......fish. Maybe something that doesn't live too long so I won't get emotionally attached. We used to have fish when I was growing up. The tank was BIG. Or at least to me it was big. It was in the den on the opposite wall of the piano. We had a good stash of them until we got a jack dempsy for 99 cents and now we know why he was 99 cents. He ate ALL the other fish!! Even the silver dollars that were the size of my palm. We'd had the silver dollars for about three years or something. Dad took it back. He was a mean little guy. Fish. This sounds like a good investment of my time as well as a good excuse as to why I should go home at least once a day. It would help ground me in my home and keep me focused on who I am and what I want. I guess I want a fish.............................that's not nearly as romantic as going to Sante Fe. Coffee is more romantic that fish. I know I want coffee. Good coffee. It is the only thing I have left on my grocery list, but I have to go see Eric and Anna. I am going to treat myself to their coffee and maybe spend a Saturday on the porch. I know I want that. Coffee and friends. You betcha. Fish-maybe.
Tuesday, November 04, 2003
Get a life?
Who knew that I would have to grow up AND get a life. This is not a very easy comprehension for me. I mean I thought being grown up means having a life that was preinstalled or something. Turns out I suffer from isms and it turns out that my life went from routine to way too much routine (I can't imagine what life is like with out the phrase way too much, but I understand it is supposedly a better way of life). I OD-ed on going to meet with friends and talking about God. I am doing so much talking that I haven't done any living. Now I am a wreck....or as some people say my life has become unmanagable, but that is too big of a phrase for ME to admit to! I am to a point where I am not socializing well, can you imagine me not being social? This is a major effect for me. The more syndrome has gotten me into more trouble. So this evening I am going to chill out at the apartment and spend sometime cleaning and (of course) watching movies. Then I am not going to do any talking until Wednesday and Saturday. Weird. I am supposed to make a list of my desires for me. What do I want? How am I supposed to know? I am just excited that my bills aren't missing a beat. Know what I want too? I know I want a house and a dog--yorkshire terrier. But other than that? Who knows? So, I have to get a life to find out what it is that I want for me. I realize that most of the world knows what they want, but I have never known what I wanted. I thought at one point in time, I think I was in sixth grade, that I wanted to be a lawyer. Now you couldn't pay me for that wish--except maybe the income. The only thing that came out of that desire was that I argued with my folks for the next four years. What do I want? Ugh. When someone knows, will they let me know? I guess I will find out in the excercises I am supposed to do in the next several weeks. As soon as I know, I will let you know!
Who knew that I would have to grow up AND get a life. This is not a very easy comprehension for me. I mean I thought being grown up means having a life that was preinstalled or something. Turns out I suffer from isms and it turns out that my life went from routine to way too much routine (I can't imagine what life is like with out the phrase way too much, but I understand it is supposedly a better way of life). I OD-ed on going to meet with friends and talking about God. I am doing so much talking that I haven't done any living. Now I am a wreck....or as some people say my life has become unmanagable, but that is too big of a phrase for ME to admit to! I am to a point where I am not socializing well, can you imagine me not being social? This is a major effect for me. The more syndrome has gotten me into more trouble. So this evening I am going to chill out at the apartment and spend sometime cleaning and (of course) watching movies. Then I am not going to do any talking until Wednesday and Saturday. Weird. I am supposed to make a list of my desires for me. What do I want? How am I supposed to know? I am just excited that my bills aren't missing a beat. Know what I want too? I know I want a house and a dog--yorkshire terrier. But other than that? Who knows? So, I have to get a life to find out what it is that I want for me. I realize that most of the world knows what they want, but I have never known what I wanted. I thought at one point in time, I think I was in sixth grade, that I wanted to be a lawyer. Now you couldn't pay me for that wish--except maybe the income. The only thing that came out of that desire was that I argued with my folks for the next four years. What do I want? Ugh. When someone knows, will they let me know? I guess I will find out in the excercises I am supposed to do in the next several weeks. As soon as I know, I will let you know!
Friday, October 31, 2003
H....A.....double L......O......double U, double E,N spells Halloween!
So the chocolate crisis and withdrawls should begin first thing tomorrow. The chocolate season began early this year and hopefully it is all gone into the bellies of gouls and goblins this eve. The folks here in the office have brought in chocolate everyday and my face has been the subject of torture of the blemishment. Thankfully, there is a solution: abstinence + change = recovery (of the blimishment!). There is always a solution. I would have to say that my indulgement was not near as bad as last year. Last year was a disaster with candy every single evening my the hand fulls. Thank goodness for the gym too. Man, I feel a lot less guilty because I excercise. It makes me feel good in general. Endorphins are much better than chocolate any day. I don't care what the down with love girls say. There is so much going on the evening I don't even know which to pick. There are balloon rides and fair activities over at the fair grounds and there is a social down in Buford. There are kids trick or treating on the squares (which I fully intend to avoid) and then there is always crazies in Atlanta that might be good just to go and drive around to look at....although I could probably do that on any given night in Atlanta. That is why I love the big city though, never a dull moment. I was called a country bumpkin the other day by a loved one because I don't know my way around Dunwoody area. I am not sure that I am really all that comfortable with that stereo type yet. It made me frown at the sound of it. I am so glad to be at work today. It was good to be plugging away at my NEW COMPUTER!!!! Hahahahaha! I recieved as a gift from the head of the company a FLAT SCREEN!! which to the rest of the world is probably nothing really, but to me it is super cool and I don't have to wait on the crazy thing, it just goes like I was flipping through a magazine. Ahhhhhhh, yes. It also comes with a cd burner and although the IT guy said it wouldn't play cds.....it does. So Dixie Chicks are all the rage in my cubicle world right now. I know that I have gone though any multitude of employment, but things just keep getting better and better with each job. I wonder if it is a trick or a treat.......Today, it is a treat!
So the chocolate crisis and withdrawls should begin first thing tomorrow. The chocolate season began early this year and hopefully it is all gone into the bellies of gouls and goblins this eve. The folks here in the office have brought in chocolate everyday and my face has been the subject of torture of the blemishment. Thankfully, there is a solution: abstinence + change = recovery (of the blimishment!). There is always a solution. I would have to say that my indulgement was not near as bad as last year. Last year was a disaster with candy every single evening my the hand fulls. Thank goodness for the gym too. Man, I feel a lot less guilty because I excercise. It makes me feel good in general. Endorphins are much better than chocolate any day. I don't care what the down with love girls say. There is so much going on the evening I don't even know which to pick. There are balloon rides and fair activities over at the fair grounds and there is a social down in Buford. There are kids trick or treating on the squares (which I fully intend to avoid) and then there is always crazies in Atlanta that might be good just to go and drive around to look at....although I could probably do that on any given night in Atlanta. That is why I love the big city though, never a dull moment. I was called a country bumpkin the other day by a loved one because I don't know my way around Dunwoody area. I am not sure that I am really all that comfortable with that stereo type yet. It made me frown at the sound of it. I am so glad to be at work today. It was good to be plugging away at my NEW COMPUTER!!!! Hahahahaha! I recieved as a gift from the head of the company a FLAT SCREEN!! which to the rest of the world is probably nothing really, but to me it is super cool and I don't have to wait on the crazy thing, it just goes like I was flipping through a magazine. Ahhhhhhh, yes. It also comes with a cd burner and although the IT guy said it wouldn't play cds.....it does. So Dixie Chicks are all the rage in my cubicle world right now. I know that I have gone though any multitude of employment, but things just keep getting better and better with each job. I wonder if it is a trick or a treat.......Today, it is a treat!
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
I will walk through the darkness if you want me too...........
So............darkness has descended on the Green Family. People say that when death knocks, it is a time of celebration for the person is going with God. Sometimes I get that and other times I don't. Sometimes my fear and selfishness become so overwhelming that God becomes a distant light at the other end of the tunnel that seems as though I will never reach, especially in times of death. The last two deaths that happened to be close to me, I don't really remember. People used to laugh in college when others would drink and do something stupid and the next day not remember. I used to not remember a lot. I would drink on purpose to not remember. I blacked out the last two significant deaths in my life. I was apparently very tyranical with one of them and the other one apparently didn't effect anyone but me. This death is not the same. My insides hurt really badly and I don't want to black out or drink. What I really want to do is make the other members of my family feel better. I know I am not that powerful. I think it is mostly that feeling that I feel horrible so I assume they do too. I don't care for the way I feel and if I could change the way they feel, then I would change the way I feel. This is a myth, a lie.............I get it.
There is a pile of clothes in the middle of my bedroom and I can either: a) go around them b) go over them c) move them around d) put them where they are supposed to go (ie the closet, dresser, what have you). This is the idea behind what is happening inside: I can either:a) deny the feelings b) ignore the feelings c) act like the feelings are there and deal with them later or d) walk through the darkness: feel the feelings until they are done being felt.
I will be away at my grandmother's funeral in Waycross for the next couple days. Hopefully, peace will return in my heart. I know that she is at peace and no longer in pain and that is very comforting to me. I really don't like the fact that she will no longer be here to cut the crusts off my bread, open Christmas gifts or sit with the family as we stand around and sing hymns out of the Baptist hymnal. Her smile, camera, kindness, adventures, waffles, carob, spiritual prescence and love will be missed. If there are angels, I think my Grandmama would qualify. Even through her death she teaches me a new experience.
So............darkness has descended on the Green Family. People say that when death knocks, it is a time of celebration for the person is going with God. Sometimes I get that and other times I don't. Sometimes my fear and selfishness become so overwhelming that God becomes a distant light at the other end of the tunnel that seems as though I will never reach, especially in times of death. The last two deaths that happened to be close to me, I don't really remember. People used to laugh in college when others would drink and do something stupid and the next day not remember. I used to not remember a lot. I would drink on purpose to not remember. I blacked out the last two significant deaths in my life. I was apparently very tyranical with one of them and the other one apparently didn't effect anyone but me. This death is not the same. My insides hurt really badly and I don't want to black out or drink. What I really want to do is make the other members of my family feel better. I know I am not that powerful. I think it is mostly that feeling that I feel horrible so I assume they do too. I don't care for the way I feel and if I could change the way they feel, then I would change the way I feel. This is a myth, a lie.............I get it.
There is a pile of clothes in the middle of my bedroom and I can either: a) go around them b) go over them c) move them around d) put them where they are supposed to go (ie the closet, dresser, what have you). This is the idea behind what is happening inside: I can either:a) deny the feelings b) ignore the feelings c) act like the feelings are there and deal with them later or d) walk through the darkness: feel the feelings until they are done being felt.
I will be away at my grandmother's funeral in Waycross for the next couple days. Hopefully, peace will return in my heart. I know that she is at peace and no longer in pain and that is very comforting to me. I really don't like the fact that she will no longer be here to cut the crusts off my bread, open Christmas gifts or sit with the family as we stand around and sing hymns out of the Baptist hymnal. Her smile, camera, kindness, adventures, waffles, carob, spiritual prescence and love will be missed. If there are angels, I think my Grandmama would qualify. Even through her death she teaches me a new experience.
Monday, October 27, 2003
Shake it like a poloroid picture
So this weekend I did albsolutely nothing. I watched movies, spent time with friends and no mental anguish was exuded whatsoever. Unfortunately, my grandmother is in the hospital, and is not doing so great, but I don't have a whole lot of control on that one. I am afraid to see her there because I know she will be much altered from the last time I saw her, which was at the reunuion and was so happy because she was surrounded by family. So Mama tells me to stay put and I am willing to do that. I am willing to love from afar. The three movies I saw are all worth the renting. I saw the Italian Job, Matrix Reloaded and Charlie's Angels. Italian Job was worth the clean cut-ness of the movie. Thankfully it is not a total remake. Matrix Reloaded was cool because of the effort put in by the actors and crew to make the movie. It is really one movie split in half with the one coming in November. Charlie's Angels is a hysterical parody on the 70's/80's tv show. There are some really bad jokes in it, but overall it is funny. There is also a cameo by Jaqueline whatever her name is that has a clothing line at KMart(?). She is still as beautiful as ever. I really liked the line she delivered--Angels are like diamonds, they can't be made they have to be found. Each are unique. Ahh......lack of chaos. I love it.
So this weekend I did albsolutely nothing. I watched movies, spent time with friends and no mental anguish was exuded whatsoever. Unfortunately, my grandmother is in the hospital, and is not doing so great, but I don't have a whole lot of control on that one. I am afraid to see her there because I know she will be much altered from the last time I saw her, which was at the reunuion and was so happy because she was surrounded by family. So Mama tells me to stay put and I am willing to do that. I am willing to love from afar. The three movies I saw are all worth the renting. I saw the Italian Job, Matrix Reloaded and Charlie's Angels. Italian Job was worth the clean cut-ness of the movie. Thankfully it is not a total remake. Matrix Reloaded was cool because of the effort put in by the actors and crew to make the movie. It is really one movie split in half with the one coming in November. Charlie's Angels is a hysterical parody on the 70's/80's tv show. There are some really bad jokes in it, but overall it is funny. There is also a cameo by Jaqueline whatever her name is that has a clothing line at KMart(?). She is still as beautiful as ever. I really liked the line she delivered--Angels are like diamonds, they can't be made they have to be found. Each are unique. Ahh......lack of chaos. I love it.
Friday, October 24, 2003
Cause I'm bigger than my body gives me credit for
So I am doing the aerobic classes at the gym now as opposed to dilly dallying on the machines and making things up as I go along. They were mostly step classes until this week. We began do something called Pilotti's. Apparrently this is a really old work out design from the sixties or something (this is how the woman who is teaching the class explained). When I asked about it to the guy behind the counter as to what it was, he said that it was a selling point to women and that's all he knew. So women all over the gym, which he is right even though he doesn't know why or what, are gaga for Pilotti's Workouts. Mostly, it is nothing more than a cross between atheletics and dance in a very ingenious way. Primarily it concentrates on the area between your "gluts" and "inner thighs" and your "upper abs." The teacher called this the powerhouse. This is the same area that a ballet dancer concentrates on to do some of the things they do such as stand on their toes and not fall over. But then, the different movements that the teacher has us doing seem very...........simple, until you wake up the next day. Apparently, the movements work the body(which I have come to find true for me), but they are not complicated and don't create too great of an amount of pain when in mid action. The only thing I don't really care for is the lack of information on these practices. See, there is no real way to know if you are doing it correctly or not. No one seems to be an officianado on them. At least with ballet or any other dance, it was very apparent who is and who is not. Then there are the aerobics people--they are very distinct. What I find very entertaining is that I have some instructors who.....well let's just say I don't want their body. It is very apparent to me they are not officianados. Then there are the ones who do. My ear wants to listen to those who look the way they talk. The other thing that is most interesting to the Pilotti's technique is that it feels vaguely like the Martha Graham technique or Yoga! I do like the fact that I don't crash out with sweat everywhere and that I can just put on a smile and go home. Mostly the other courses exhausted me and made my face break out because I was sweating so much. This class is like a play session and go home. The waking up the next day is weird though because your abs say things like: why did you do that to me? or your butt says things like: you can't sit here! It is strange. I am taking the day off today though and am going in tomorrow to just tinker on the machines. Hurray for the gym because so far I have lost two sizes! Only two more to go! Hurray!!
So I am doing the aerobic classes at the gym now as opposed to dilly dallying on the machines and making things up as I go along. They were mostly step classes until this week. We began do something called Pilotti's. Apparrently this is a really old work out design from the sixties or something (this is how the woman who is teaching the class explained). When I asked about it to the guy behind the counter as to what it was, he said that it was a selling point to women and that's all he knew. So women all over the gym, which he is right even though he doesn't know why or what, are gaga for Pilotti's Workouts. Mostly, it is nothing more than a cross between atheletics and dance in a very ingenious way. Primarily it concentrates on the area between your "gluts" and "inner thighs" and your "upper abs." The teacher called this the powerhouse. This is the same area that a ballet dancer concentrates on to do some of the things they do such as stand on their toes and not fall over. But then, the different movements that the teacher has us doing seem very...........simple, until you wake up the next day. Apparently, the movements work the body(which I have come to find true for me), but they are not complicated and don't create too great of an amount of pain when in mid action. The only thing I don't really care for is the lack of information on these practices. See, there is no real way to know if you are doing it correctly or not. No one seems to be an officianado on them. At least with ballet or any other dance, it was very apparent who is and who is not. Then there are the aerobics people--they are very distinct. What I find very entertaining is that I have some instructors who.....well let's just say I don't want their body. It is very apparent to me they are not officianados. Then there are the ones who do. My ear wants to listen to those who look the way they talk. The other thing that is most interesting to the Pilotti's technique is that it feels vaguely like the Martha Graham technique or Yoga! I do like the fact that I don't crash out with sweat everywhere and that I can just put on a smile and go home. Mostly the other courses exhausted me and made my face break out because I was sweating so much. This class is like a play session and go home. The waking up the next day is weird though because your abs say things like: why did you do that to me? or your butt says things like: you can't sit here! It is strange. I am taking the day off today though and am going in tomorrow to just tinker on the machines. Hurray for the gym because so far I have lost two sizes! Only two more to go! Hurray!!
Thursday, October 23, 2003
I can't imagine not having an imagination, Marilla!
So things are rocking on in the world of Anne. I am a slow book reader because I have a tendency to read four books at one time. Anne turned thirteen last night. It was ever so exciting. I remeber being thirteen. I was a full time baby sitter, a swimmer and a brand new make-up wearer. My big gift for my thirteenth birthday was getting my ears pierced. Funny, today I don't wear make up and my ears are rarely decorated. Anne got puffed sleeves for her Christmas too. She was so elated to wear her puffed sleeved to the Christmas Concert that the school held to sponsor a new school flag. I was so excited to have my earrings and fancy makeup. We had my birthday party with the family up at Bent Tree with the Carter and Bobby McCallums. It was a great day. I was busy that year too. I went to camp, NY, Rock Eagle and Washington DC. Thirteen was grand. Anne makes me think of my own story. She is so much the person I want to be. A friend says that everyone has a great story to tell and that it is the story of our lives. He says that if we could write like the fancy authors like Walt Whitman and Emerson and such, that the story of our lives would be a bestseller every time. I don't know if mine would make a better novel or soap opera. There are days that I wonder.
So things are rocking on in the world of Anne. I am a slow book reader because I have a tendency to read four books at one time. Anne turned thirteen last night. It was ever so exciting. I remeber being thirteen. I was a full time baby sitter, a swimmer and a brand new make-up wearer. My big gift for my thirteenth birthday was getting my ears pierced. Funny, today I don't wear make up and my ears are rarely decorated. Anne got puffed sleeves for her Christmas too. She was so elated to wear her puffed sleeved to the Christmas Concert that the school held to sponsor a new school flag. I was so excited to have my earrings and fancy makeup. We had my birthday party with the family up at Bent Tree with the Carter and Bobby McCallums. It was a great day. I was busy that year too. I went to camp, NY, Rock Eagle and Washington DC. Thirteen was grand. Anne makes me think of my own story. She is so much the person I want to be. A friend says that everyone has a great story to tell and that it is the story of our lives. He says that if we could write like the fancy authors like Walt Whitman and Emerson and such, that the story of our lives would be a bestseller every time. I don't know if mine would make a better novel or soap opera. There are days that I wonder.
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
I wanna walk and not run
I wanna skip and not fall
I wanna look at the horizon
And not see a building standing tall
I wanna be the only one
For miles and miles
Someone said once......Gee Rachel, not everyone lives like Waldo Emerson. Sometimes I forget that I live in a beautiful spot of the country, and then it happens. It is the same time every year. The leaves change. The stars are bright. It amazes me at times that I get to see all this and more because in the city, stars are non-existant and leaves are far and few. The mountains look like someone stoked them with any variety of colors of a paint brush. It is awesome. It makes me feel like Anne. That lucky to live in a such a magnificent place.
I wanna skip and not fall
I wanna look at the horizon
And not see a building standing tall
I wanna be the only one
For miles and miles
Someone said once......Gee Rachel, not everyone lives like Waldo Emerson. Sometimes I forget that I live in a beautiful spot of the country, and then it happens. It is the same time every year. The leaves change. The stars are bright. It amazes me at times that I get to see all this and more because in the city, stars are non-existant and leaves are far and few. The mountains look like someone stoked them with any variety of colors of a paint brush. It is awesome. It makes me feel like Anne. That lucky to live in a such a magnificent place.
Friday, October 17, 2003
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
and sweet you roll
So I am so excited because I am going to my first highschool homecomeing!! No, John didn't leave me and I went bonkers, I am going to the football game not the dance. I can't wait. White County is not all that great, but they are mostly freshman, which is why. I just love football. I am so excited. Tonight it will be brisk and full of excitement. The band will be bright and full of life. The kids will be running about like crazy and football will be all the hype. I am going to bring a warm mug of coffee with me and be all bundled up. I am soo excited! My best girlfriend's daughter made the varsity cheerleading squad as a sophomore! so I have a great excuse to go and have fun. I am awefully tired from yesterday though because my aerobics instructor tried to kill me yesterday, or at least it STILL feels like she did. I didn't make it all the way through the class. I was so excited about making it through the first class, but I didn't make it through the second. Oh well. I am just grateful I am doing it. I should probably go tonight, but I am too excited about the game. I have never been before because they were just not my thing in highschool and people had a tendency to be shot. (Not MY idea of fun!) It's a little different up here, I don't think there will be any shootings (except for maybe at the deer because the season is open and the hunters are OUT!). Hurray!! The weekend is here!
Sweet you rock
and sweet you roll
So I am so excited because I am going to my first highschool homecomeing!! No, John didn't leave me and I went bonkers, I am going to the football game not the dance. I can't wait. White County is not all that great, but they are mostly freshman, which is why. I just love football. I am so excited. Tonight it will be brisk and full of excitement. The band will be bright and full of life. The kids will be running about like crazy and football will be all the hype. I am going to bring a warm mug of coffee with me and be all bundled up. I am soo excited! My best girlfriend's daughter made the varsity cheerleading squad as a sophomore! so I have a great excuse to go and have fun. I am awefully tired from yesterday though because my aerobics instructor tried to kill me yesterday, or at least it STILL feels like she did. I didn't make it all the way through the class. I was so excited about making it through the first class, but I didn't make it through the second. Oh well. I am just grateful I am doing it. I should probably go tonight, but I am too excited about the game. I have never been before because they were just not my thing in highschool and people had a tendency to be shot. (Not MY idea of fun!) It's a little different up here, I don't think there will be any shootings (except for maybe at the deer because the season is open and the hunters are OUT!). Hurray!! The weekend is here!
Thursday, October 16, 2003
jeepers creepers, where'd you get those creepers?
jeepers creepers, where'd you get them eyes?
So my computer at my desk is not fully loaded yet. Apparently explorer is eating it alive. Today I get to work at my boss's desk though and she has the net. I have been super busy ever since I started work. It is the "we haven't had anybody in the position for too long" catch up game that I have been playing. One of the other benefits of being in my boss's desk is that she has a cd player and Louis is so gentle on the ears when data entry is so hard on the fingers. I had to update a doctor's list today and Ella and Louis are the artists of the morn.
I forget how good routines are. When I was out and about seeking employment, there was not a routine. It threw everything off. I couldn't work out. I got lazy with my chores at home. My life creeped into unmanagability. That is always death defying when it happens. When my life gets to that harry stage where nothing aids except God, I have nothing left: no esteem, no people to talk to, no ability to climb out of the darkness that I have walked into when I have no set agenda for my days. The ideal thing, of course, would be that I would have more time to seek God, but mostly I just lose focus. God forbid that I should ever lose focus of my primary purpose, but losing focus of my life is almost as bad. I am very grateful to be of the employed today. But my point is that I did something new with my routine yesterday. It felt good. Normally, I get up, pray, get ready for work, go to work, go to the gym, eat supper, go meet with friends and talk about God, go home, chores, pray, read, go to sleep. The exception of course is the weekend. But yesterday, instead of doing my routine at the gym, I did an aerobics class. I have never done one before yesterday, but they are not all that bad. It was small: three people and a trainer. It was quite a workout. I was impressed and excited and refreshed. It is kind of like dance. It wasn't all that difficult a all. Apparently, it has been free at the gym all along and I just haven't known it. So hopefully there will be one today too. It really increased the length of my time there at the gym. I was surprised at how late I got out of there. Tonight, I think I am going home instead of going to talk about God. I am aweful tired and would really like to see a movie. I love movies. I think I was supposed to be movie critic and ended up an adminstrative assistant. Either way, I am happy today.
jeepers creepers, where'd you get them eyes?
So my computer at my desk is not fully loaded yet. Apparently explorer is eating it alive. Today I get to work at my boss's desk though and she has the net. I have been super busy ever since I started work. It is the "we haven't had anybody in the position for too long" catch up game that I have been playing. One of the other benefits of being in my boss's desk is that she has a cd player and Louis is so gentle on the ears when data entry is so hard on the fingers. I had to update a doctor's list today and Ella and Louis are the artists of the morn.
I forget how good routines are. When I was out and about seeking employment, there was not a routine. It threw everything off. I couldn't work out. I got lazy with my chores at home. My life creeped into unmanagability. That is always death defying when it happens. When my life gets to that harry stage where nothing aids except God, I have nothing left: no esteem, no people to talk to, no ability to climb out of the darkness that I have walked into when I have no set agenda for my days. The ideal thing, of course, would be that I would have more time to seek God, but mostly I just lose focus. God forbid that I should ever lose focus of my primary purpose, but losing focus of my life is almost as bad. I am very grateful to be of the employed today. But my point is that I did something new with my routine yesterday. It felt good. Normally, I get up, pray, get ready for work, go to work, go to the gym, eat supper, go meet with friends and talk about God, go home, chores, pray, read, go to sleep. The exception of course is the weekend. But yesterday, instead of doing my routine at the gym, I did an aerobics class. I have never done one before yesterday, but they are not all that bad. It was small: three people and a trainer. It was quite a workout. I was impressed and excited and refreshed. It is kind of like dance. It wasn't all that difficult a all. Apparently, it has been free at the gym all along and I just haven't known it. So hopefully there will be one today too. It really increased the length of my time there at the gym. I was surprised at how late I got out of there. Tonight, I think I am going home instead of going to talk about God. I am aweful tired and would really like to see a movie. I love movies. I think I was supposed to be movie critic and ended up an adminstrative assistant. Either way, I am happy today.
Friday, October 10, 2003
So things didn't go the way I wanted them to go. It turns out that I was one of the balloons that popped. I have found a new workplace as an administrative assistant in a medical office for their marketing executive, which means that I am a glorified secrectary. Actually, I respond to two individuals who give me things to do. Thankfully, I am just getting started and it is always a nice relaxing thing to start work on a Friday. I am very excited to be here seeing as it means that I get a check next Friday and that I found out that they pay for my insurance as opposed to me paying for it. So in reality I am making more money at this job than I was at the last one. This is a good thing if you ask me. The other cool thing is that I already know some of the people who work here so the adjustment is not so adjusty, if that makes any sense at all. I am very grateful that God gave me this new job. It really is a God thing--trust me. The other cool thing about this job is that I get to dress up. The woman that I work under is a "dress for success" type person and is begin into being good looking. Yea! I get to wear all my interview clothes all the time. Now I know that most people go to work in a tie on a regular basis, but in the button factory I was in jeans every day. Now I get to wear the good stuff too. Ho hum...............It has been so long since I have done this that I am not sure what else to say. I feel better now that I have a job again. Feeling better is always a good thing. Thanks God.
Friday, September 26, 2003
The place where you hold me
Dark in a pocket of truth
So yesterday was a bad day. Today I feel much better. By the end of the day yesterday was a better day. I couldn't figure out what set off the crazies, but now I know. Today is layoff day here in the button factory. When I come in, if I come in, on Monday there will be people missing. It is about as specific as throwing darts at balloons to win a doll at the county fair. There is no rhyme or reason as to why one person gets it and the other doesn't. I asked if I would be one of the many and was told that even if I am, the temp agaency would re-place me immediately somewhere else, unlike others who won't have that opportunity and that there was no way to know what will happen. I think, I will never know, that the crazies were insued by the amount of fear that is lingering in the air. I went and talked with Michelle yesterday and she always has wonderful things to say ie God is my employer and God is bigger than Scovill, God has a plan for me and not to question it. I always feel better after I talk with her. Then I went to the gym.
This was my fifth day this week for the gym and the end of my third week. I was exhausted. I have been trying to do five to six days a week. So far I have been meeting my goal. Yesterday, I asked for help. I went to the guy who sold me the membership, who is also a friend and asked for help. I told him that in three months I wanted to be beautiful (John says that's impossible because I already am beautiful! Isn't that the sweetest thing you have ever heard!). So now I have a rigorous workout plan that is probably going to tear me apart, however, I will have the body I want. He said that in three weeks my body should be used to it and be okay..........three weeks. What he was telling me I am going to be in pain for the next three weeks. Oh well, I am willing. Besides it is not like I am doing something wrong, so mentally I will be okay and spiritually too. Soon, I will be okay physically! Hurray for Rae and God in improving the physical nature of her spiritual being. I heard an interesting comment the other day saying that we are not physicals trying to have a spiritual experience, rather spiritual beings having a physical experience. I liked it. I don't know if I believe it or not, but I liked the idea of it.
Gosh, today is just such a new day. I am so thankful. I feel ten times better. The only thing that is bothering me today is my allergy to ragweed. Unfortunately, just like in times of insanity when this too shall pass, so do the times of feeling good. I sure do like the good times better though.
Dark in a pocket of truth
So yesterday was a bad day. Today I feel much better. By the end of the day yesterday was a better day. I couldn't figure out what set off the crazies, but now I know. Today is layoff day here in the button factory. When I come in, if I come in, on Monday there will be people missing. It is about as specific as throwing darts at balloons to win a doll at the county fair. There is no rhyme or reason as to why one person gets it and the other doesn't. I asked if I would be one of the many and was told that even if I am, the temp agaency would re-place me immediately somewhere else, unlike others who won't have that opportunity and that there was no way to know what will happen. I think, I will never know, that the crazies were insued by the amount of fear that is lingering in the air. I went and talked with Michelle yesterday and she always has wonderful things to say ie God is my employer and God is bigger than Scovill, God has a plan for me and not to question it. I always feel better after I talk with her. Then I went to the gym.
This was my fifth day this week for the gym and the end of my third week. I was exhausted. I have been trying to do five to six days a week. So far I have been meeting my goal. Yesterday, I asked for help. I went to the guy who sold me the membership, who is also a friend and asked for help. I told him that in three months I wanted to be beautiful (John says that's impossible because I already am beautiful! Isn't that the sweetest thing you have ever heard!). So now I have a rigorous workout plan that is probably going to tear me apart, however, I will have the body I want. He said that in three weeks my body should be used to it and be okay..........three weeks. What he was telling me I am going to be in pain for the next three weeks. Oh well, I am willing. Besides it is not like I am doing something wrong, so mentally I will be okay and spiritually too. Soon, I will be okay physically! Hurray for Rae and God in improving the physical nature of her spiritual being. I heard an interesting comment the other day saying that we are not physicals trying to have a spiritual experience, rather spiritual beings having a physical experience. I liked it. I don't know if I believe it or not, but I liked the idea of it.
Gosh, today is just such a new day. I am so thankful. I feel ten times better. The only thing that is bothering me today is my allergy to ragweed. Unfortunately, just like in times of insanity when this too shall pass, so do the times of feeling good. I sure do like the good times better though.
Thursday, September 25, 2003
Main Entry: in·san·i·ty
Pronunciation: in-'sa-n&-tE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ties
Date: 1590
1 a : a deranged state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder (as schizophrenia) and usually excluding such states as mental retardation, psychoneurosis, and various character disorders b : a mental disorder
2 : such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction or as removes one from criminal or civil responsibility
3 a : extreme folly or unreasonableness b : something utterly foolish or unreasonable
Sometimes life is insane. Somedays are better than others. Other days, I want to eat a pack of cigarettes. This is one of those days. The thing that comforts me in times like this is that "it's just a moment, this time will pass." Sometimes I get stuck and forget, then I realize: this too shall pass. Insanity feels like someone has a hold of your spine and won't let go no matter how you wriggle and squirm; no matter how you cuss or fight, they just won't let you go. It is that consuming. Today my insanity it great, and the only thing bigger than insanity is God. God help me.
Pronunciation: in-'sa-n&-tE
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural -ties
Date: 1590
1 a : a deranged state of the mind usually occurring as a specific disorder (as schizophrenia) and usually excluding such states as mental retardation, psychoneurosis, and various character disorders b : a mental disorder
2 : such unsoundness of mind or lack of understanding as prevents one from having the mental capacity required by law to enter into a particular relationship, status, or transaction or as removes one from criminal or civil responsibility
3 a : extreme folly or unreasonableness b : something utterly foolish or unreasonable
Sometimes life is insane. Somedays are better than others. Other days, I want to eat a pack of cigarettes. This is one of those days. The thing that comforts me in times like this is that "it's just a moment, this time will pass." Sometimes I get stuck and forget, then I realize: this too shall pass. Insanity feels like someone has a hold of your spine and won't let go no matter how you wriggle and squirm; no matter how you cuss or fight, they just won't let you go. It is that consuming. Today my insanity it great, and the only thing bigger than insanity is God. God help me.
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
"It's not personal it's business."
"Who made this up? I mean what ever it is, it should always begin with being personal. All that means is that it is not personal to you. It was personal to me."
So I read a lot of blogs and I watch a lot of movies and I have a lot of morals and guidelines that I live in my life. All of these collided yesterday. Impersonality seems to be a key in a lot of the blogs that I read, but on the flip side whether we like it or not our persona shines through. For example if bloggers only talk about the positives in life, maybe they are delusional or perhaps in denial and it's readable in their text (this is one of my better themes!). I don't exactly understand the rationale behind the premise that things should remain impersonal just because they are on the internet. To be very frank I think it is damn near impossible to be completely without subjectivity of some sort. If a blogger tells me anything about their day, it is personal. Anything. But isn't that the point of the blog anyway? I mean isn't the idea so that my parents in P'tree City can read and know more about me? Or my brother in Atlanta or my grandparents in Waycross? If it's not personal, what's the point? Why bother learning or reading or writing in the first place?
Okay enough with the soap box. I will say this last thing and be through with the whole thing: my father taught me a lot about intergrity, faith, discipline, courage and honesty a couple of weekends back. He taught me that it is not about other people, it is about me. It is about being right with me and my God and that is all that makes the difference. It is about the construction of the spirit. Because of that basic sense, blogs absolutely should be personal. Hopefully, through sharing my own experience, I can be of maximum service to God and my fellows and help another person..........all that from a blog. Who knows whose reading, but I hope that by getting to know me it increases the quality of their life.
"Who made this up? I mean what ever it is, it should always begin with being personal. All that means is that it is not personal to you. It was personal to me."
So I read a lot of blogs and I watch a lot of movies and I have a lot of morals and guidelines that I live in my life. All of these collided yesterday. Impersonality seems to be a key in a lot of the blogs that I read, but on the flip side whether we like it or not our persona shines through. For example if bloggers only talk about the positives in life, maybe they are delusional or perhaps in denial and it's readable in their text (this is one of my better themes!). I don't exactly understand the rationale behind the premise that things should remain impersonal just because they are on the internet. To be very frank I think it is damn near impossible to be completely without subjectivity of some sort. If a blogger tells me anything about their day, it is personal. Anything. But isn't that the point of the blog anyway? I mean isn't the idea so that my parents in P'tree City can read and know more about me? Or my brother in Atlanta or my grandparents in Waycross? If it's not personal, what's the point? Why bother learning or reading or writing in the first place?
Okay enough with the soap box. I will say this last thing and be through with the whole thing: my father taught me a lot about intergrity, faith, discipline, courage and honesty a couple of weekends back. He taught me that it is not about other people, it is about me. It is about being right with me and my God and that is all that makes the difference. It is about the construction of the spirit. Because of that basic sense, blogs absolutely should be personal. Hopefully, through sharing my own experience, I can be of maximum service to God and my fellows and help another person..........all that from a blog. Who knows whose reading, but I hope that by getting to know me it increases the quality of their life.
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
Immorality is the destruction of the spirit.
So I had the opportunity to here one of the Soiux Nation speak last night. He was a tremendous speaker. This is one of the statements that he used. And you know something? It is very true. When I am destroying my spirit I am usually doing something against my natural grain of survival and natural grain of the set of values that my folks gave me and taught me. When I am in self destruction, I am usually doing things that do nothing but destroy my self worth, esteem or in general the very prescence of God. I am in a zone of selfishness and self centerness to the extreme. My life crumbles around me with nothing holding it together. When I get to a point of incomprehensible demoralization, I go insane. Insanity is based on the premise that there is not a God of any kind. No concept what so ever. When I am in this state of immorality or self destruction, I am without God. I do not know much about the concept of hell, but I believe that the time I spent not growing up was a time without God and in a hell of it's own rite. That separation from God and morals and all of the good in the world allowed me to go to the deepest level of depicablity with in myself. I become ashamed and guilt ridden. I am not able to lift my head. I despise myself and reach the point of utter despair. Marilla says that to depair is to turn your back on God. I know that place. I will not go back. It is the only concept of hell that I do understand. When I have God in my life, God allows me to be made of love and understanding as opposed to self hatred and loathing. God allows me to be me, His perfect child worthy of life and vitality. When I am actively persuing God, seeking God, I am in a moral state that renews my spirit in which God graced me. Morality is the construction of the spirit, which I try to build on mine everyday.
So I had the opportunity to here one of the Soiux Nation speak last night. He was a tremendous speaker. This is one of the statements that he used. And you know something? It is very true. When I am destroying my spirit I am usually doing something against my natural grain of survival and natural grain of the set of values that my folks gave me and taught me. When I am in self destruction, I am usually doing things that do nothing but destroy my self worth, esteem or in general the very prescence of God. I am in a zone of selfishness and self centerness to the extreme. My life crumbles around me with nothing holding it together. When I get to a point of incomprehensible demoralization, I go insane. Insanity is based on the premise that there is not a God of any kind. No concept what so ever. When I am in this state of immorality or self destruction, I am without God. I do not know much about the concept of hell, but I believe that the time I spent not growing up was a time without God and in a hell of it's own rite. That separation from God and morals and all of the good in the world allowed me to go to the deepest level of depicablity with in myself. I become ashamed and guilt ridden. I am not able to lift my head. I despise myself and reach the point of utter despair. Marilla says that to depair is to turn your back on God. I know that place. I will not go back. It is the only concept of hell that I do understand. When I have God in my life, God allows me to be made of love and understanding as opposed to self hatred and loathing. God allows me to be me, His perfect child worthy of life and vitality. When I am actively persuing God, seeking God, I am in a moral state that renews my spirit in which God graced me. Morality is the construction of the spirit, which I try to build on mine everyday.
Monday, September 22, 2003
Settin' there under the quiltin' arbor
of an afternoon in the spring.
Laughin' and bluchin' and prickin' my fingers,
Rippin' our some crazy seams
So maybe it's not spring, but I did some quilting this weekend. I am working on a quilt for Megan's baby. She had her shower this Sunday and I would have to say that that baby will lack for nothing. I unfortunately, did not finish the quilt and gave her an IOU. I didn't realize the time it would take to hand sew it. I am using the piece top that I put together two years ago during the production. I am thankful that that part was already done. Otherwise, I would have never had the idea in the first place. The piece top is just the right size for a baby blanket. Meg looks like she is going to pop, but I guess that is the idea. I can't believe that one of my girlfriends is pregnant. That is kind of cool. It is definitely a new experience hearing all about the details. I had no idea some of the wierd things that happened. Well, I am glad it is she and not me. I watched Legends of the Fall while I was quilting because the music is so quilting oriented. That movie is such a wonderful saga. I forget that Brad Pitt isn't just a hunk, but that he is also a good actor. The cool thing on the DVD is that I can play the movie with out any words and only the music, so that is what I did the second time around so I could keep on, keepin' on. It was strange though to look up and see someone talking and no words coming out of their mouth. The music is really fit to the movie pretty tightly. It was well spent Saturday night on my own.
I went to the gym on Sunday and tried a new excercise suggested to me. They are called lunges. It had been two days since I had been to the gym, so I was a little slow, but I did the new excercise anyway. Today I feel very uncomfortable. It is not quite pain, but that feeling you get before the pain starts. I have a feeling that the pain will kick in later. Hopefully I will work out right on top of the time the pain kicks in and I won't feel it. I hope so because I have a b'day party to go to tonight. So many social things to do so little time.
I heard that one of my other girlfriends is getting a divorce. She has only been married for a few years and now is getting a divorce. I don't understand it all, but I do understand that somethings come to an end whether we like it or not. It is wierd having friends who are making decisions like having babies and getting divorces. It used to be breaking up and quitting the team. Things change, but in the same respect they are all the same just magnified. I am thankful that all I have to decide on today is whether or not I want to wear a long sleeve tshirt or a sweatshit over a tank. Simplicity is definitely a gift.
of an afternoon in the spring.
Laughin' and bluchin' and prickin' my fingers,
Rippin' our some crazy seams
So maybe it's not spring, but I did some quilting this weekend. I am working on a quilt for Megan's baby. She had her shower this Sunday and I would have to say that that baby will lack for nothing. I unfortunately, did not finish the quilt and gave her an IOU. I didn't realize the time it would take to hand sew it. I am using the piece top that I put together two years ago during the production. I am thankful that that part was already done. Otherwise, I would have never had the idea in the first place. The piece top is just the right size for a baby blanket. Meg looks like she is going to pop, but I guess that is the idea. I can't believe that one of my girlfriends is pregnant. That is kind of cool. It is definitely a new experience hearing all about the details. I had no idea some of the wierd things that happened. Well, I am glad it is she and not me. I watched Legends of the Fall while I was quilting because the music is so quilting oriented. That movie is such a wonderful saga. I forget that Brad Pitt isn't just a hunk, but that he is also a good actor. The cool thing on the DVD is that I can play the movie with out any words and only the music, so that is what I did the second time around so I could keep on, keepin' on. It was strange though to look up and see someone talking and no words coming out of their mouth. The music is really fit to the movie pretty tightly. It was well spent Saturday night on my own.
I went to the gym on Sunday and tried a new excercise suggested to me. They are called lunges. It had been two days since I had been to the gym, so I was a little slow, but I did the new excercise anyway. Today I feel very uncomfortable. It is not quite pain, but that feeling you get before the pain starts. I have a feeling that the pain will kick in later. Hopefully I will work out right on top of the time the pain kicks in and I won't feel it. I hope so because I have a b'day party to go to tonight. So many social things to do so little time.
I heard that one of my other girlfriends is getting a divorce. She has only been married for a few years and now is getting a divorce. I don't understand it all, but I do understand that somethings come to an end whether we like it or not. It is wierd having friends who are making decisions like having babies and getting divorces. It used to be breaking up and quitting the team. Things change, but in the same respect they are all the same just magnified. I am thankful that all I have to decide on today is whether or not I want to wear a long sleeve tshirt or a sweatshit over a tank. Simplicity is definitely a gift.
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