Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Dark and dangerous like a secret
That gets whispered in a hush


So today was only a LITTLE stressful here at work. I had no idea I was going to be the one responsible for my boss's earnings. The report I do is what she gets paid commission off of, which is fine except I didn't find out until 3 pm this after noon and my accuracy still was amiss by 19 out of 413 injections. There were some tears. I don't particularly take to pressure well. I used to cry the night before anything that seemed remotely major when I was little, whether it be a social science project or deciding which college I wanted to go to, I cry under pressure. It always screws everyone around me up too because not very many people with as averagely serious an attitude as myself cry. That's what happens though when you cross my Mom and Dad: a serious cryer.

A friend of mine asked me how my day was a month or so ago and I looked right at her with this very intense, emtional look and said in a not so nice voice with steam coming out of my ears, "Unbelievably Bad, how's yours?" and smiled. She jumped about ten feet and retorted, "Sorry, I am not used to honesty." That is the only way I know how to be with my emtotions though. Honest. That day was unbelievably bad. Today, I am a serious cryer. It's a lot better than being dishonest or numb. But it is like no one likes to talk about emotions except therapists. Guess its an inside thing. Gratefully, I found the lost 19 injections after my pressure releasing cry and I got an extra hour of overtime in too. I know now what I did not know then? Guess so.

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