Juliet says hey Romeo, you nearly gave me a heartattack.

• I can see the big dipper and Orion from the front yard.
• I have a marketing test on Tuesday that I am and am not nervous about taking.
• Megan is going to church and reading the book of Matthew.
• Mikey, the pup, is teaching Baby, the mama, that it is okay to be a loving thing.
• John has the sickness.
• I am still doing no white flour and no sugar. I am also up to three-five times a week cardio at 45 min, and two strength trainings: legs & hips, and shoulders, back, bi's and tri's. Next week will add in abs.
• My kids remembered to bring their Bibles to Sunday School.
• Am writing an article on DV for a local paper.

You and me babe, how bout it?

Success, or at least it feels like success. I am starting my fourth week (the 26th will be one month) of the diet. No sugar, no white flour. Do you know how hard that is? Do you know? And now Mom says that I will have to give up caffeine soon. Well preferably now, but I am a little overwhelmed with things I am giving up right now. Maybe later. It's not killing me yet. Typically I give things up when they are killing me. Sugar is not killing me either now that I think about it, but it sure was doing a number on my self esteem.

Today I was able to do 45 mins of cardio and "strength" training. The strength training is a three times a week thing focusing on different muscle groups each time. Today was legs. I did lunges with three pound weights twice (I was supposed to do it three reps, but I was afraid I was going to fall over by the end of the second one so I moved on to the next exercise). I did calf raises with three pound weights. I did hip adductions and abductions at 55 lbs. I did the leg press at four plates (the numbers were worn off so I don't know the weight). And finally I stretched. All of this took about an hour and fifteen minutes. Not bad. I came out feeling buzzy. If you ever had a buzz from a beer, you know what I am talking about. If you haven't...yeah, I don't know: sucks to be you? The nice thing about the buzzy was that it was from doing something good for me instead of something bad for me.

I also was able to eat correctly all day. I have also had the ketosis process start in which means that my body is processing the fat to make sugar instead of using outside sugars and storing excess sugars aka fat cells. It does weird things to my body like random muscle cramps in the legs or making my urine smell funny. The nice thing is that it means that I am getting smaller on a healthy rate. I haven't gotten back on the scales this week because I was too overwhelmed by the scale process last week. I have decided that I will do the footwork for healthy living process if God will handle the worrying about the weight. It leaves the mental consternation in the hub of prayer and eliminates daily mental activity that was cumbersome.

I have always found that exercising was a chore. My head told me it was hard so I wouldn't do it for long. The reality is for me to be at a healthy weight for my height and being the age that I am, there is no way for me not to exercise to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I wish there was and outside of heroin or the diet coke/cigarette method, there seems to be no other choice. I found a positive affirmation in my Shape magazine that has helped tremendously for my thinking: Working out is a way of honoring my body and my health. Since honoring the self is a way to honor God, it means something to me to honor my body and my health. I liked it and it changed my perspective on working out. Honoring God in all my affairs is a hard practice for life. I am slowly but surely being able to apply the God discipline in my life one affair at a time.

I am totally vegged out. I am ready to go back to school. I have to admit. I have been a slacker at the beginning of this school term. I really minded that I didn't get my books, but I really didn't mind that I didn't get my books if that makes any sense. I wasn't done with my winter break. I didn't know that of course until the wonderful three day weekend.

My hubby was at camp this weekend so I got the farm all to myself. Friday I went to school and then Grace's game which was awesome. They beat their rival team and Gracie score eight points. This was an important eight points as they only won by seven! It was a good game. I was sitting in the screaming parent section. I felt really bad for the refs. Although, I did see some of the calls that were obvious that they missed, but I didn't feel obligated to yell at them. After the game I had some Donnelly family time by hanging out at their house talkin' politics (Craig is GOP and Sherry is DNC...fun fun!) and drinkin coffee.

Then it was home to the MOVIE MARATHON. Yeah, my movie marathons make Carter's marathons look like duck soup. I also worked on my wedding scrapbook. I am spicing it up a bit to look more like a SCRAPbook as opposed to some pictures with pretty paper. It amazes me how much work an advertiser or magazine editor has to do in order to get page layout to work: placing opposing pages on similar color themes, having an overall flow to the book as a whole. My little book has taken a total new shape now that I have put some elbow grease into it. Although, I have run out of blue, light blue and yellow construction paper. Thusly the scrapping has come to a halt. I was busy all day Saturday and Sunday with the movies and the book. I didn't have church on Sunday due to fear of ice, which ended up just remnants of snow on the ground. It was excuse enough for me to skip church and watch more movies though. I know, I am a sinner and going to.... heaven anyway!

John was back from camp today which made me superduper happy. And now that my mind is totally numb from movies and fun, I am ready to go back to school. Luckily, I did organize for school. That was a good thing. I also did a chapter in my mktg class that seems easy, but something tells me the exams are going to be painful. Whew, I sure am grateful for MLK, Jr. today, how bout you? Thank you MLK for the day off for which I observed in peace and quiet of my own home.

I love Friday Night Lights. My brother thinks it is a stupid movie because the team loses, but the emotion in it still astounds me.

The movie is about integrity and intensity. Not many people can do both. Many times the intensity overwhelms the integrity. This is about 17 year olds being the best of the best. I remember being seventeen. I couldn't spell integrity. Okay, that's a lie. But I sure didn't have the ability to emotionally process integrity. I had no ability to be the best of the best. I never experienced athletics on the level that the men in this movie experienced football. These young men are rock stars for one football season. I love this movie because it clearly conveys the emotional effect of Texas football on five young men and their ability to be perfect.

It also touches on the end of that connectivity, that bond that happens between people during the emotions and after the intensity is gone. I can remember that at the end of a school year or the end of a musical. It feels like wearing a shirt that has been overstretched. It is too big and hangs in odd places. But it is comfortable to not be so tightly stretched out. I love that part of the movie: when Winchell smiles. They will always have that season no matter what else happens in thier lives; they will always be perfect.

notables:

• The routine I have in place for the semester is setting in well. I go to school, go to work study, go to work out, eat, study and play...a little. Mostly it is tiresome to my body on this schedule. My diet is successful. I am eating five small meals a day with a high protein content, no sugar, no white flour. I startled my brother with a fact that Michelle lost twelve pounds in the first week of this exact diet when she did it at my age. He was upset to think that I would lose more than a pound a week. I would be upset if I lost a pound a week. Turns out in my first weigh in, I lost 2 1/2 pounds. That was a diet for one week and one day of exercise. Next weigh in I will have two weeks of diet and one week and one day of exercise. Maybe the extra workout will give my body some umph to lose three pounds in a week. I was slightly bitter about the 2.5 pounds. I really wanted something tremendous like 5 or 10. People always tell me they lose a lot in the beginning. So much for that theory. It is nice to have a routine so there is less chance of screwing up. The army men have noticed my almond eating at eleven am or ten thirty am. They immediately asked about it. Funny how the work out fans can spot other worker outers. I also carry around a purple Nalgene bottle that my wonderful hubby got me. I think the combination were a dead give away for "athlete" (in the making). I do find that I feel like all my nerve endings are hanging out...I can feel everything. This is totally an abstinence thing. It happened when I came off of alcohol, nicotine and now...sugar. I don't remember the alcohol being such a bad withdrawl, but the nicotine: kill me now it was bad. I don't ever want to do that again. I'd love to smoke again, just not go through the withdrawls. Although, I doubt I ever will smoke again because the benefits are outweighing the addiction. Sugar however, I will eat icecream again. Not giving that up.

• I have my first quiz on Friday and still no book. It is a little upsetting to my 'A' student heart, but I recognize that it is in college algebra and even without the book I am ahead of the game in the class. She handed out example problems in class on Wednesday and I got them all right. Mmm...Plus, she drops our lowest quiz grade. Still, I am not used to not being way ahead of the class. Hopefully they will come in by today and tomorrow as per AMAZON.

• Fashion on campus has set in on this rainy Northeast Georgia day. All the fatigues have a poncho. All the girly-girls have "pretty" galoshes. They come in pink or black with polka dots, a red tartan, brown lined with black buckles. It is amazing how hip rubber shoes have become. The girls tuck their jeans into the boot to show off the boot. Weird. It is all the rage. If I could find one in none pink, perhaps a purple of some sort or navy blue, I'd probably wear them too. As it is, I will stick to my way cool hiking boots John got me before Christmas that were intended for me to walk on snow in WV without killing myself, but have come in handy for rainy Georgia days. Since we don't have many rainy days, I jump at the chance to wear them. I am less likely to go hiking in them as people are killing young women these days on the AT, so rain is a good excuse.

• Life at the farm is sad. We had a hefer give birth for the first time which makes her officially a cow. Unfortunately it was a "hard labor" and the baby got stuck in the canal. The cow made it, but the calf didn't. It was a beautiful thing too. But it caught pneumonia because the lungs never dried out. It was sad, but, I have come to find, part of the business of growing cows. The good thing is that the mama lived and is healthy. It means that more pretty calfs can be made and can make money.

• I have never been as excited to drive my dirty little Saturn as I was last night (I am conserving water and not washing my car. God took care of that for me today by letting it POUR down this morn.). I have been without vehicle due to some insurance and tag issues going on and last night I was able to drive MY CAR. The car that gets 37 miles to the gallon when buzzing around town and 40 on the highway. Yes, I get 37 miles to the gallon without being a hybrid. The bowing at the feet of the Saturn SL1 may begin. My eyes were opened to the gas crisis while driving John's vehicles. They get 27 miles to the gallon if you are lucky. I was feeling the pocket pinch that everyone has been screaming about at the top of their lungs in every form of media. I will not go through that again. I will make sure that my little gas stretching vehicle works no matter what until there is an alternative. Even the new Saturns don't get that kind of gas mileage. I will stick to my zip-zip car.

Boy I am fiesty today.

Back to it. I am back at school today. I don't have any books yet though which is strange. It is the first time I have purchased books on Amazon, so we shall see when they get here. My accounting class has a peaceful, easy feeling professor. Then I have a computer class where to my surprise, my professor was in a wheelchair. I have never had a disable prof before, but she was nice and the class seemed pretty straight forward. I get to build a website for class which seems way cool. Next is math. Yes, I have a college course called Math. It is college algebra according to the book I bought, but the class is called math. My D for Done in Calc back a hundred years ago didn't qualify me for Statistics, so I have to start from the beginning. I think it extended my time here by a semester, but it doesn't matter. I can do algebra in my sleep. Then I am off to workstudy and off to workout! Workstudy, workout..haha..

I haven't seen any of my friends yet, but I didn't expect to see them until tomorrow. I know of two classes that I take with two different friends. I was surprised in my accounting class that the gal that sat next to me was an evil girl to me last semester, but this semester asked for my phone number off the bat so we could study. Her question was proposed to ensure she was studying with a good student:"You made an A in the last course right?" I knew she made an A. I saw her grades on all her tests! Yes! I MADE AN A IN ACCOUNTING. Thank God for that one. I really wanted an A in that class. Hopefully she will be nicer than last semester. I think she is probably a nice person, she was just mean to me on a bad day. I am mean to people sometimes too.

Phrase of the day: "So how was your break?"

There are few things in life that evoke emotion outside of one's own experience. That is why we like actors so much. Those folks who can convey circumstances and situations so powerfully that we can feel it ourselves without actually having the experience ourselves. I saw a movie last night that moved me. It was overpowering in its love, agony, tension and loss. It was a story of getting honest, even if it is a death's door. I know about that: getting honest.

I ended up last night in a place of old haunts. I use the word haunts because it is a part of my life that used to scare me, my family and what few friends I had. I was in a constant state of paralyzing fear. I couldn't do anything. All I could do was drink. The drink would allow me to function and not remember. I wouldn't have to feel.

I know that people do experience a spiritual awakening in the middle of the place of their fear. That is not my experience. I was supplanted in the north Georgia mountains. I got a God shot. As a result, I have not been down the old paths since that time. They were shocking to my senses last night.

I made a decision to change last night. I did something I have never done before on that side of town. I went shopping at Target. That seems very simplistic, I know. I wasn't able to shop when I lived there before. I was only able to drink and fear. There wasn't any real shopping back then. You know, the kind of shopping where you go in looking for something not know what that may be and will know it when you see it? I ended up not buying anything but it doesn't make any difference. Now I have a new memory. I have a good memory, not one of fear or petulance or degredation of self. I have one of a peace and ease. One of time spent not drinking.

My story is a garden variety story as far as spiritual journeys are concerned. Last night is a part of my journey: making new memories; daily, small changes. Everyone counts, every bit of a new life bearing principals like integrity, awareness of God, willingness, honesty.

And I'm free in You...
Got no worries on my mind,
I know what to do...
That's to treat you right,
Love you kind,
Thank you ever on my mind...

So I am free to do whatever I want (except eat sugar or white flour). I watched so many movies today, I thought I would be crazy. I feel like I have had too many cigarettes without the coughing, mucus, bad taste in my mouth or smell on my clothes. Turns out this is not from the movies, rather from the lack of sugar in my system. Apparently there is a detox period (imagine that! just like everything else). It is a flightly, fuzzing sensation. So I used the energy for the good and went to the gym. I walked for about thirty minutes maybe more at an incline at a "brisk" pace. I broke a sweat. I felt good.

Ho hum, I hear the drum. That would be the school drum beating. I bought my school books on line today. They are a bit late in the purchase side of things, but you can never tell with online. I bought Dad's Christmas gift from CA and it said that it wouldn't get there until after Christmas, but it got there on the nineteenth. Who knows? Hopefully they will be here before next Friday. As by then the professors will have expectations. They cost me half what I bought them in the bookstore for which means that I overpaid last semester. Oh well, won't make that mistake again. Will order sooner next time though.

Have some cool pictures of the Opossum Drop but haven't figured out how to load them on the computer yet. New camera rocks! I take it with me everywhere. I need a hand protector case though, it is getting a little knocked around in the old purse. I am sure it will stay home more once I go to school. (four days left...)

I am still free for the next couple of days. Hurray...more movies...

Happy New Year!

Today is a day of rest, joy and challenge.

John and I went to Opossum Drop last night to ring in the New Year. It is in Clay's Corner, NC. It is just over the line past Hiwassee. There were gospel songs sung, prayers led by Dolly Parton and a video of patriotism with inspiring words from our current Preznit and past Preznits. Oh yeah, and they dropped a rodent at midnight.

We didn't get home until one thirty and I didn't get to sleep until about two-fifteen. So today was a sleepy day. I didn't get up until ten thirty and didn' get going until eleven fifteen. I ate my non-sugar, no white flour breakfast at lunch time. So funny. One of my girlfriends was shocked and laughing at me. But, hey, I am on break!

I am excited about our plans today to go and eat sourcraut and potatoes with our friends who are originally from Pennsylvania. They say that is their traditional New Year feast. Strangely, both are on my can eat list. They also don't make sweet tea because they are Yankees, so I don't have to be tempted. I look forward to the fellowship and food.

My brother has a tendency to make "resolutions" for the New Year. I had someone ask me if I made them and my answer was that my brother did. I know I want to lose about 35lbs. Maybe 40 if I can. I know that I want to maintain my 3.8 GPA (or better). I know that I want to go somewhere I haven't been... I am ready to grow through prayer instead of through pain. That's gotta happen at some point right? I am kinda tired of the being in pain to motivate me change. I would much rather just pray about things and change. No pain necessary. I know that I want to attain some physical/emotional peace. The chaos that I yearned for, I am no longer interested. I am ready to have one of those lives where people say so are you still doing...and for me to answer yes. So are these resolutions? I don't know. I know that they are things that I want.