The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon, we'll find the mouse
And I love you

Holy cannoli, I have a ten year old. Overnight just like that, I inherited a ten year old. This makes my parents temporary grand parents. She is staying with me while her mom is in Savannah. Then I will head down to Savannah on Thursday and she will go to her Dad’s place. She talks a whole lot. She is simple though and pure. I took her with me last night to my meeting and I was trying to explain to her what she might hear there and she finished my sentence. I said that the people who were there might not be very……and she says “Christ like?” Yeah, I say, Christ like. I told her it is spiritual kindergarten and that some people are just getting it or don’t get it at all, so to be prepared. She did great and listened well. I think Marilla is right, get ‘em old enough where they can be of use and young enough to be taught. The ten year old is so pure and innocent it just amazes me. She is honest and hopeful without any cause. She is kind, except to her little brother (me too when I was ten) and even then she is not bad, just a big sister. She has art class today and I am supposed to take her this afternoon. Then we are baby-sitting Iris this evening. I think a movie and pizza are going to be good. I hope that Iris will be a happy baby tonight. I hope the ten year old will be a happy ten year old tonight. Otherwise, I will have my hands full. I also have started running the nursery for the church that is behind my apartment on Sundays. There are about five or six kids, myself and another nursery worker. It is fun and is an extra $50 bucks a week. I figure it will pay for bills and Christmas. I feel like all of the sudden I turned twelve and Mom and Dad let me baby-sit. People came out of the woodwork asking me to sit. I was the Avondale baby-sitter. Now, I am the Clarkesville baby-sitter. Children, children everywhere! Thank goodness they all get to go home.

I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end

I have been simplifying my life lately; little things that have made my life easier. I am being me and not worrying about the rest of the world. I guess the easiest way to explain things is this: I have quit pursuing things. Not that my ambitions have gone out the window or anything. I am just not trying desperately to be someone’s best friend or trying to be the best girlfriend or trying to be the best at anything really. It has made things so much easier. I have all kinds of time to do the things that I want to do, i.e. keep my apartment clean, pack a lunch, keep my clothes clean, watch movies, spend time with Iris, go to the flower shop or the coffee shop, read, read, read, meditate, pray, paint. It is as though my life is coming back to me. I am not in a constant mental crunch about what he thinks or she is doing. This pursuing is something that I found in my last inventory and was mentioned to me by a good friend as being a defect of character. So I have been praying for God to remove it from me in conjunction with practicing the opposite action. It is nice. My life is not nearly as difficult. I am well into my second new book and I can’t remember the name of it. It was reviewed on NPR and so I snagged it off the internet a while back. I have had it for what seems like forever, however, I have never found time to read it. Now that I am not so concerned about everyone else, I have found plenty of time to read it. I light my candles at night before bed: one for me, one for Milton (he is dieing of lung cancer), and one for a good friend in need. I figure if the Catholics do it so that God can better hear better, it can’t hurt for me. But I read and light candles for those I care about and it is nice. I read for thirty minutes and turn out the light by ten thirty. Simple.

Two days past eighteen,
He was waitin’ for the bus in his army green,
Sat down in a booth, in a café there…

Oh my little Iris went to Grandma’s arms last night. There was no crying or crawling at my house. Instead I went to go and play with a friend’s hair so that I would know what to do with it come time for the big event. The big even is that I am going on a company junket for a weekend and it includes an evening where we will all have on black and heels and in the nicest array of accessories. One of the problems is that this girl, whose hair I worked with last night, is very difficult. It is coarse and straight. She didn’t know what to do with it and asked for help. I think I am going to pull it back like Anne’s and add curls. It is more malleable than she made it out to be and won’t be too much of a problem. I had three braids into a knot and then curled out the bottom last night. It was very beautiful, if I do say so myself. From there I went to the movie store for movies and got a calzone from the local pizzeria. I rented Jersey Girl, which was surprisingly good. I had no idea that it was a “Jay and Silent Bob” movie, who are my favorite. Unfortunate for Jay, he was caught on a heroin possession out in California and ended up in a rehab only to reuse. Silent Bob ended up getting married and having a kid and thus, Jersey Girl. It was pretty decent. I was really pleased with the night seeing as I went to bed on time and was able to get up and get to work without feeling totally exhausted. I was that way on Monday and it just makes the day really long. Yesterday was still tugging at me which is why I decided to stay home. Something smoothed out though. I still have a little edge and may stay home again tonight to try it again to see if I am completely alleviated of sleep deprivation.

Oh! BTW, Happy first day of Autumn!

I just love New York in the fall……
If I could send you a gift, I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils…

Fall is here. I woke up this morning to find that I had cranked the ac down a bit too much for such a cool day. It was flat out cold this morning. The bank sign on the way to work said 55 and I don’t doubt it in the least. I don’t do 55. I normally would have a blanket or a jacket or something to compensate for the cool weather and nothing. I had no idea that it would be such a bright cool fall day. Autumn is tomorrow. I was smart enough to have a denim overshirt. The woman that I see walking every morning had on a turtle neck. Is it too early for turtle necks? I love turtlenecks and could probably wear them year round given the opportunity. I am so grateful for fall. This weekend I will have to turn my wardrobe over so that I can pull out all the right clothes. I love doing that. It is like shopping without the expense. School is so in too. August never reminds me of school. September and the feel of fall reminds me of school. The trees have not begun to turn, but they will soon and the leaf lookers will be everywhere and desperately in the way. It makes me think of being a patrol on the kindergarten hall and the cool breeze in the hallway up to the third grade hall and library. I think of the walks down towards the uncovered but empty pool for football games in the park. I think of studying without a break until Thanksgiving. I think of Halloween and being able to walk with my friends for the first time and having Hank jump out of the bushes at Emily and me on our way dressed up like gypsies. I think of band parties and football weekends at Georgia Tech while endlessly studying for midterms. I think of Black Cat and the day after day after day of playing silly games and practical jokes and hoping that I passed that last test or got at least a B on that most recent paper that took me hours upon hours to write. Fall is such a memorable time.

Introducing the newest member of the family: Cathy McCallum!!! Hurray!!
Welcome to the family. We are blessed to have you as a part of our lives.

Blue skies
Smiling at me
Nothing but blue skies
Do I see

Well, there are definitely blue skies everywhere. It is as though God washed the sky and instead of it being white as snow it is blue as water in the Caribbean (or at least what I would imagine they would look like seeing as I have never been there and it is currently amidst the current hurricane, Jeanne). The weird part of the blue skies is the edge of dark clouds that are being blown out of the county. Turns out that Habersham had two F1 tornadoes last night touch down and ripped apart the land a good bit. I went to White County to hide, which turned out to be the right decision because there were only power outages and flooding which was the lesser of the evils if you ask me. The Chattahoochee flooded out Sautee and Helen. The storm was so scary. My boss tried to get home last night from Savannah and wrecked the new company car (new as in purchased the day before she left for Savannah new) in Athens. My super boss has a tree in her house. It looked pretty awful when I went by to look at it. When I passed a Georgia Power man while I was out and about, I made sure to stop and thank him. He grinned. “You’da” thought I’d given him a lollipop. There are power lines down all over the place because of the trees. There are trees all turned in the wrong direction everywhere. As soon as you pick up any type of regular speed driving, a tree shows up in the wrong place. I can see why the kids are not in school. The busses would never pass. I am glad that I got to come into work today. I don’t like it when I don’t work, it throws my whole financial scale off and I can’t play nearly as much, not to mention my sleep schedule and internal routine clock. Although, there will be no playing tonight, only sleeping. I am exhausted!! I had a hard time sleeping because the storm was so noisy. I did get new tires today. That was a trick. I walked in and said I need two front tires and since there was no one in the shop, because everyone is sawing trees or carting kids or something, they were installed and paid for in thirty minutes. It was a good day to get tires. Now I can go to Macon this weekend and Uncle Carter’s wedding and not have any sliding or slipping or popping or flattening experiences. Unlike those here in the county who have had all of those experiences but unfortunately not with their tires rather with their homes and businesses.

Here comes the rain again,
Falling on my head like a memory

Icky, icky. I think I may be ill. I have a headache and facial pressure and sneezed and sneezed and sneezed yesterday morning until I blew my nose raw and then was able to breathe. Unfortunately, the pain is still present. Mom says it might be a sinus infection. Dad says it’s the ragweed. Oh my, bring on the rain. Ivan is just in time in my world. I feel bad for those who lose their lives and homes, but it won’t bother me a bit to lose the ragweed. I took a Claritin to help ease the sinuses and a naproxen for pain. My eyes still hurt, but not as bad. The rain began this morning as I was leaving for work and that and a long nap this afternoon will be a cure-all. My plants are outside on the deck “just a lovin’” the rain. The leaf turning season will be really long this year because of all the rain we are getting. I suspect the leaf lookers will be here soon. This all feels so familiar: the rain, the illness, the coziness of a nap. The only thing that is different is that now I don’t have to deal with mold that multiplied in my old apartment when rains came. Everything in my home is cozy and dry and if I need effects of the rain, I can open a window and listen.

Baby mine, don't you cry.
Baby mine, dry your eyes.
Rest your head close to my heart,
never to part, baby of mine.

Nope, no sippy for Iris. Man did she cry last night. Megan said that she hadn’t really slept all day and didn’t know why. Iris started crying when she saw me and didn’t stop until she finally conked out at about eight thirty. I got her at five forty-five. We walked and walked and walked and if I stopped to rest my arms she cried. We crawled and cried. We listened to Beethoven and walked and walked and walked. We stopped, she cried. Bottle time, no crying. Changing the diaper, crying. It was amazing. Then for no reason at all: ZONK. Out like a light. No crying. Shew. No crying for at least another week. I love being the babysitter.

It’s what you wear from ear to ear (Ear to Ear)
And not from head to toe!!!

It is so amazing how easy my life gets when my boss does exactly what I want her to do and then leaves town for the week. While it is not easy on her family and sometimes little things get missed, I am grateful for the pressure relief that occurs once she is gone. It allows me to get done everything that I need to get done. She piles me down and I can’t catch up until she is gone. Whew. It makes me smile. I have Iris tonight. She is supposedly drinking from a sippy cup. No way, I say. Guess we will find out.

Dark and silent late last night, I think I might have heard the highway calling.
Geese in flight and dogs that bite.
And signs that might be omens say I’m going, going, going to Carolina in my mind.


Okay, so I went to West Virginia, not Carolina, but I passed through NC and that was the only song I could find. There was no “West VA” on my mind. Why I went, no one knows, I just needed some time off and a friend said lets go and it sounded good to me. It sure was beautiful. It was 65, 70 degrees the whole time. There was a nice breeze and no one anywhere. I got to read and walk and sleep and eat and no one could call or write or bother or go here and there or expect of me or ask of me to do…..anything. My friend and I went walking through the old town and saw a church with a bride and groom run out and jump into an old fashioned car and zoom off. We hung out in Molly the Mayor’s Victorian Shoppe on Main Street and gabbed with one of the local neighbors about her time back in town for a short while on furlough from college in front of the Post Office. We trotted around into the depot to look at the old train cars. It was lovely. It was really relaxing. We also saw fireworks from the overlook that was 3542 ft, which is really high to me, while pigging out on Dairy Queen. We also found the near by ski resort and are making plans to go to it when snow hits the ground in the end of November. I have never really skied before and don’t know if I will, but the thought was nice and the place seemed decent. We also trucked down to the very bottom and mouth of the Blue Stone River on a one lane road that originally followed the ridge of the mountain and traveled down to the river. Someone on the outside looking in might say that we got lost, but we got out of the maze by going right back out the way we came in so it was a nice adventure. We returned in the nick of time for Church Sunday evening and managed to squeeze in a Blimpie’s wrap for dinner while we were at it. It was a nice trip. I am glad I still have it in my mind because I have to be here at work until seven thirty tonight and that seems forever away. From there I go to meet with friends for an hour and won’t be home until about nine fifteen, just in time to do chores, read and sleep. Busy, busy little bee: that would be me.

Oh and she never gives out,
And she never gives in,
She just changes her mind…

Finally, my thank you notes are done and ready to be sent. I will pick out just the right stamps today at lunch and send them on their merry way. I love to get snail mail. I love to send snail mail. It takes a lot of work though. My mom tried to teach me how important it was to send notes for graduation gifts and such, and I think I even sent a few, but I never really got it. Why wouldn’t saying thank you in person or emailed be acceptable? What is the deal with a note? Why would I send a note? Who cares? After having someone in my life who is a regular snail mailer, I have found out the comfort of having something other than junk mail and bills in the box. It is amazing how opening the mail box becomes a treat when there is something little and special in it just for me. Then once I open the little and special, it has words of love and my insides recognize that that relationship is honored and cherished. That is why I have written thank you notes for my party. It takes effort to write twenty thank you notes and to remember if someone gave you something. I did the thank you notes for my Christmas gifts this past year too (or at least I put some effort in doing it, seems like I missed a couple being mailed due to address confusion). It just makes a difference, if not to the people who get them then to me. There is something that is enhanced within me when I send these cards. I am able to internalize my gratitude for the gift and the person. It makes me realize that these are the people who participate in my life and who support and love me. It continues and strengthens my relationship with them and makes me feel like a nice person. I didn’t used to feel like such a nice person, but through a simple little action like a thank you note, I feel differently. I am able to express my love and gratitude. That is important. Love, gratitude, faith, self esteem, being nice to others, strengthening quality relationships: these are all important. Now that I look at it: ‘who cares?’ I care.

The rocket racer's all tuckered out
Superman's in pajamas on the couch
Goodnight moon, we'll find the mouse
And I love you


Last night was Iris night. Every Tuesday I am able to baby-sit little Iris, who is Megan’s daughter. Megan has been a friend for a long time now and now Iris is becoming a friend too. She came to my new apartment for the first time last night and we watched movies and ate fruit. Well, I should be more honest, she crawled, there was a movie on and we ate fruit. She is just at ten months and is everywhere. She is doing the pull up and stand thing and has started to wave and say bye-bye. She really likes to wave. She claps too. That is so funny because the noise makes her smile and laugh. It’s like it is a game or something. The fruit was a new thing to her you could tell. The fruit was cool because it was so sweet for her. I would pinch a ten month old piece of watermelon and give it to her and her whole face would light up. It was as though it was cotton candy but better. She didn’t like the blue berries, but she did like the watermelon and the grapes. I gave her a blue berry and she made a squenchy eye look with pucker lips. I guess it was tart to her. It was really funny. I thought about throwing one in every so often just to see the face, but decided that wouldn’t be nice. But it was really funny. She is such a good baby. She rarely cries. The only time she cried last night was when she wanted food and when Meg showed back up. She has really figured out that Megan is mom, which was not true a couple of months ago. Now if Meg is in the room, she has to be with her. It is very sweet.

How sweet it is to be loved by you!

What a wonderful weekend!! I had my first ever house warming and it was a tremendous success. There are several successes that are associated with the warming. First and foremost, I have the cleanest apartment ever. Everything is put away and tucked into the right spot. The shoes are all lined up, the bed is made, and the hardwoods were swifted. It was awesome. I have never had a place so clean. While my place is small and it will have to be maintained on a regular basis. I recognize that the initial unpacking must occur in order to have a maintenance program in place. My house is super clean. Maintenance will be a breeze. That is all because of the house warming. Success!

Then on Sunday, the slicing and dicing began. I made Pam’s world famous apple dip, had a fruit bowl, had sliced apples, ham sandwiches, had cheese and crackers, pound cake. I had everything. I made sweet tea, kool-aid and coffee. I used my mom’s daily ware tea cups and saucers for the coffee and her creamer and it was so fancy! I felt just like Anne (except there was no drunk Diana)! I had munchie bowls that were chex mix and cheetos and pretzels. I felt like a cook in my own snazzy new kitchen. There are still pitchers in my fridge and clean dishes in my dish washer from all the fun. Success!

Then Megan showed. Oh thank heavens. I thought noon would never come. She began to set out her Mary Kay things everywhere. I stepped in and out of the shower and into my khaki Capri’s and hostess top, which was a lovely, blue, crushed velvet that was accented beautifully by the fall feeling weather. Then the people began to arrive!! Person after person and something I wasn’t expecting: Gift after GIFT!! Hurray for party gifts! I couldn’t believe it! My friend Cari said that we need a picture for every gift that was given to me because the reaction was as though each one was the first. I just love presents. I got two sets of lead crystal candle sticks. I got two lead crystal flower vases. I got the coolest two baskets ever. They were weaved out of metal and friendship beads! They are so cool. I got pretty little dishtowels and candy and lavender for my bath. I got another flower vase with silks in it. I got a really neat peppermill which is great because I don’t have pepper or salt! Folks came in two waves, which was good because everyone had a chance to talk and sit and move and talk and sit. The weather was perfect to sit out on the deck and on the white wicker furniture. The windows were open and I had Norah Jones and New Orleans Jazz in the background. Success!

Then the icing on the cake: my cousin Jenny showed. She came in the last of the second wave and stayed the night. She is my first overnight guest and used my handy new pullout bed. She says that it sleeps well. We gossiped, drank coffee and went to the movies. We slept in and stayed in pjs until ten the next day. Success!!

Hey valentine I’m just a stumblin’ around,
Who knew that Paris was such a lonely town?

Oh I feel like a dust ball. There is nothing like unpacking from a basement to let the dust fly. My kitchen is completely unpacked. I put away things according to where I felt like they should go and have decided that almost everything needs a good bathing, which means I guess I will just have to load my new dishwasher and use it! My living room is still box after box and my hallway is pretty dangerous too. The funny thing is that I am so excited about my washer dryer that I will run it for any reason and trying to get back and forth to the unit is a task due to the maze of unpacked stuff. I am having a party on Sunday and all of these boxes will have to be away. I am going to work all night and all Saturday in order to have both unpacked and a squeaky clean home. I am doing fruit trays and cheese trays on the veranda and sweet tea and coffees for drinks. I will have muchie bowls inside and perhaps if I have time bit sandwiches and chips. I would love to do my Mom’s famous cheese dip but I don’t have a fondu pot. I have every other kind of pan in the world though! Megan will Mary Kay me and have all of her stuff out and about too. I am so excited!! Especially once I stop bouncing around boxes like a pinball!

Istanbul is Constantinople…

Thank goodness I finally slept. While I was supposed to be cleaning and packing, I decided I would rather sleep and today is a good day. My apartment is in boxes but I am put back together enough that I will be able to unpack with a clear head and an open mind and not be overwhelmed by my stuff. And I have lots of stuff. I will be tossing out and cleaning up this evening and probably talking politics in between. That is what lost me sleep in the first place. I talked politics first with Alan and then with Mom two nights in a row and never ended up with sleep. Today I got all of my work done and was able to help the Queen B (she needs LOTS of help, thus the name). It’s good to help those who need it. It sure is a lot easier after I have helped myself.

I have been reading The DaVinci Code also. It is another sleep depriver in my life. Politics and Davinci, what a pair. It is really good. It is apparent that he is writing it for a movie script. The chapters are short, the plot is jumbled by three or four story lines intermittent, which I expect to come together here soon, and there are cliff hanger sentences followed by repeaters in the chapter breaks. The thing that gets me is how much research this author did to create such an elaborate conspiracy theory. So much of the theory is real and then there are just off the wall things that they lead to, it is really impressive his connections through conjectures. I can’t wait to get back into it tonight. Of course, it will be after the cleaning and tossing mind you.

Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose, won't you let me go down in my dreams?
And rock-a-bye sweet baby James.


Oh, I don’t think I can get enough sleep. I got seven hours last night which usually is sufficient, however I am still tired. I was up late on Monday night talking about life in general to Alan (well mostly sticking to politics and global affairs and a little about love) and sure enough, last night I talked to my mom for about an hour about the same thing. I just love to talk!

Well the move is through. It is September 1, 2004, which means three things: Mom and Dad are 31 (Hurray for Mom & Dad!!!) years married, my friends in NC are one year of marriage and I am an official Clarkesville resident and can no longer claim Sautee as home. I think Sautee will always be home though. It is kind of like Avondale. Avondale will always be home. It is a feeling not a place. Although today, due to the inability to get to my coffee maker or refrigerator thanks to boxes being everywhere, I went to my local Racetrac for coffee and high carb breakfast food. I didn’t notice it until I got back in the car and turned the key (ooh I used a pronoun with out an antecedent, Dr. Pinka would scream and give me a C). There was an air of confidence in my step this morning. I felt older and wiser. I felt accomplished. I felt like an adult. I felt like an adult and was not afraid of it rather I embraced it and cherish it. Having a great place has its perks.