I couldn't escape the memory
Of a phone call and of what you said

So I got a very disturbing phone call yesterday saying that one of the reasons I am not emotionally doing well is due to the baggage I am toting. Who knew? Yes, I have been carrying around a few pieces of luggage, but I thought they were carry on size and it turns out they are breaking my back. This was the whole reasoning behind the finding out what I want that began last week. Turns out, I won't know until I unpack/unload. Just the same, some of my desires are already occuring, which is a good thing.

I got to hang out with several different girlfriend last week. I began quilting the piece top I've been working on for a baby blanket for another girlfriend (well her baby, not her). I watched all kinds of movies. I had a spectacular cleaning day on Saturday. My apartment in so nice and so clean, clean. I also purchased I three piece living room set. I got a couch, love seat and chair. They moved in on Saturday too. Saturday was a busy day for me. I cleaned, moved furniture, spent time with John and went out with a girlfriend for dinner, not to mention meeting with friends to talk about God. All that in one day. It was awesome. Sunday was spent in front of a movie screen and I really wasn't watching, mostly I was just quilting. Sunday night I was on the phone with friends for a good portion of it. I unloaded some of the baggage too and that helped a lot. Then I spent more time on the phone in the dark with all my candles lit, so it wasn't really dark, sipping tea and hot cocoa. Then I just prayed for a while. There is something about candles and prayer. I know it is a Catholic thing, but I am not Catholic. For me it is a soothing thing. These are all different things that were on my desires list. It was as though the weekend was never going to end or maybe just my desires won't.

The straigtening out phone call was totally worth the effort--straightening out means that there are exhausting emotions envolved and usually crying, which this one did, and begining to breath. It is almost a cathartic. Today, I feel a little better and by tomorrow I expect to be flying high again. Hopefully, tonight after the gym I will get to play bridge. I have never done it before, but there is a game night up at the center that I want to participate in tonight. Just another desire. They say a desire is a prayer, maybe that means I have one.