I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside

Oh, I really hate moving. Today is the last day available and today is also the last of the pack. I have three boxes worth left. I have barely unpacked anything from yesterday’s run and there are kitchen things all over my small new space. My brother came to see me on Sunday and that was good because my place was all nice and clean with limited boxes everywhere. I find that I am running out of space. I cut about 300 feet out from my old place and last night I was feeling it. I recognize it is about organizing and that it will take some effort that’s all. I don’t have too much time left and still have my flower vases to pick up from Sautee. Oh and I will have Iris tonight too. I hope I make it. Her Dad is supposed to come get her early so that way I won’t have her till the late hours, which is such a relief. I am really beginning to get into this babysitting thing. I have been hired by the Episcopal Church for $50 on Sunday mornings for the nursery of two years old and unders. I always thought the nurseries in churches were volunteer positions, but I guess they are paid. It will be nice exposure to the community and to the church environment. I don’t know how long I will do it or if it will even be permanent, but for now, it will be fun. Especially for $50 for two-three hours. Goodness. I have never been paid that much for babysitting, except for all day affairs or massive amounts of children (or really bad kids who I don’t want to sit!). Well so be it. I have too much free time anyway.

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Oh my! The amount of people in the office this morning was nuts. I get here everyday right at the same time: between 740 and 745 am. Normally I have to wait in the parking lot until someone with a key arrives and so I listen to an NPR article or something. This morning I arrived at the same time and there were five cars already in the front parking lot and as I walked back to my desk, people were everywhere like I walked in during the middle of the day or something. Folks were making comments about me “finally” getting here. The office has been going full blast since then. Everyone is on edge as though we have been working hard all week and it is only Monday! The only person who didn’t notice was my boss. She is always late. She tells me to try and be here early all the time and I say okay, because I recognize that her idea of early is 830. I wish. True to form she showed up at 845 this morning, it was early for her by fifteen minutes. She is a nine to five kinda girl. Thank goodness for me because I can get things done in the meanwhile trying to keep up with her! It was so different this morning. I am so used to settling in to my desk and perhaps write a blog or get coffee or something, but not this morning. It was like stepping onto one of those walking conveyer belts at the airport. Things just flew by me and I had to keep up the pace. Almost like a workout that you can’t feel. Weird.

Oh and you come crash
into me, baby
And I come into you

Oh man I love birthdays. Instead of cake and ice cream, there was ice cream cake! It is always nice to fellowship with folks and just have a good time talking about nothing. I got Alex a “circus” rose because it is yellow and orange which compliments his hot, little, yellow sports car. I also made him a card. I have found these neat cards that hold paint really well and now I paint folks their cards for sympathy or birthdays or whatever. They are super cheap too so I can make lots of them, which is good because painting soothes me. I am really excited that in my new place I will be able to play my violin which as much as I hated practicing growing up and used to pitch fits over, now I find soothes me too. It’s like for thirty minutes or an hour I just get all of everything out of my head and can be productive with an immediate result. It focuses me. I was glad to be able to give a card to Alex because he is one of those people who gets me and appreciates me. He also has this uncanny ability to fold me up like a blanket when he hugs me. It feels like I just sink into him and am completely wrapped up by him. I love hugs like that. Whoever I get to spend the rest of my life with I want to hug me like that.

And the dirt beneath my heels in the road
Obeys command to me and serves me as I go

Oh man, I am soooo tired. I was going to try to go by my place in Sautee to pick some things up, but I just couldn’t stand it. I ended up again last night not sleeping until almost midnight. My sleep was so heavy that when my alarm went off this morning I could feel myself come out of the heaviness that comes with that type of sleep. Michelle says that it is not surprising that I am not sleeping well. She says that I have too much going on and I will just have to wait it out. Oof. Maybe I will sleep on Monday. That would be a good day to sleep. I have strong, strapping young men with young backs who are going to move my dresser up three flights of stairs on Saturday. It should be interesting. The rest of it will be going in different directions. I am already tired just thinking about it. Tonight is a birthday of a friend, Alex. How I love Alex. He is such a wonderful person. We are going to do cake and ice cream which means no moving for me. Playing hard, working hard makes for a tired girl.

And in plays to write the wire in
I'll come back again
Torching time talking rhymes in
I'll come back again

So Carter thinks that I should marry Nick Davis. Well, okay. I accept. The strangest part of all of it is that about a day ago I saw a boy about 12 or 13 who looked like I remember Nick looking when he was that age. He was so close in physical appearance that he took my breath away at first glance. Speaking of the Avondale folk, I got my pictures back from the fourth of July. Some are good, most are bad. The one that turned out the best is the one of Hunter, Carter and KC. How wonderful all three of those men are. The nice thing about that generation of Avondale is that they mostly turned out okay. My generation of Avondale, well, being that they are hard to come by these days, seems to be spread out and just gone. The last time I saw Alan Chastain he had really interesting tribal tattoos and wasn’t in school, rather just hanging out (that was when I was at ASC) and Tommy Brooks was about to hike the AT, which was about the same time. He was going to take six months off of school to do it. I am sure that Justin Evans has been arrested by now and there was me and that Davis boy. Last I heard he was fine and me…well I am doing pretty well for myself. I am as self-supporting and independent as is expected; have a great new apartment with a nice little job; can’t get a man if I wanted to (which is par for the course) and have enough friends to keep me socially active for several years. Strangely enough, one of the reasons I like Clarkesville, where my new place is, is because it reminds me of Avondale in the residential areas and Decatur in the business areas. It is safe and genuine. It is apparent that the kids there grow up together. There is a park and everything, the only thing missing is a pool.

Eat, drink and be merry/For tomorrow we die/'Cause we're tripping billies

Oh my, what a relief. For the past couple of days, I have been staying at the new place. It is so nice. I am still getting used to the new noises (or lack there of) but I am sleeping sound. I know when I have become completely comfortable with the place when I start dreaming. That is the way it has always been. I start dreaming and it is all downhill from there. I moved and moved and moved this weekend. Sometimes I moved by myself and sometimes there was someone there with me. My quads and gluts are screaming in agony (three flights of stairs). Hopefully that will subside soon. Last night I unpacked and unpacked and unpacked. Now I can take all of the boxes back and fill them back up! I am trying to make the place inviting and very Rachel. It is smaller than the place in Sautee so it presents its self as cozy. I just have to be careful to not make it look cluttered. I definitely have too many things for it. I had to work at decorating the old place, and this place just seems to warm up its self. Relief.

Happy Birthday Uncle Carter!!!!!

Before my well runs dry
I'm going round round round the bend
Fill it up again

So I went shopping last night. While this means that I didn’t get to buy anything, I did get to look. I went to Kmart for the third time in my adult life, as I am an avid Wal-Mart fan and have never brought myself to cross the street. My girlfriend advised me to go and take a look at the Martha Stewart stuff because I have to get new linens for my new queen size (hurray!)bed that comes with my snazzy new place. So to Kmart I went and from whence I will never go again. They had all this beautiful stuff, but no play fun. By that I mean that all of their bed stuff was preset so as to be easy consumption, however nothing available was something of my taste. I tried to mix and match and finally gave up and left. I was able to pack four boxes the other night, but I wasn’t able to pack any last night and still don’t have sheets to sleep on. I am Wal-Marting it today (even though it will be payday traffic) because I want new stuff. Oh, the things I do for wants. My brother told me when I was growing up though: wanting is good, it builds character. Guess wanting is good today because I get what I want. Ha. Off I go.

I find sometimes it's easyto be myself
Sometimes I find it's betterto be somebody else
So much to say
Open up my head and let me out


I don’t understand how it is that men and women are supposed to be mates with the differences in communication. I speak an entirely different way in contrast to men. Last night I was talking with one of my male friends who I attend church with on Sunday mornings. I was telling him my theory on relationships and how they progress according to where one is in their home. Now, the last phrase doesn’t make any sense unless you know the “porch friends theory,” but that is another blog entry. My point being that I was gabbing on about how I perceive and behave. He is trying to communicate back and begins to give me advice. It occurs to me that he is doing the same thing that my friend Peter does. John did this too when we first met and then figured out how to listen without hearing anything (this is a trait that men develop in long tem relationships apparently). Peter, David and John (well used to John), they try to fix me as though I am some sort of problem. Now, the men who I communicate who are a wee bit more…..I guess informed, is the correct word. They just let me go and talk and talk and talk. I am not looking to be fixed. I am just looking to tell stories and get a reaction or get common feed back (i.e. “Oh! I have done that and this was my experience!” or “Oh my! I am so sorry that happened to you” or “Oh isn’t that just grand!”). Women and informed men get this. They get that I am not a problem nor am I asking for help. There are times where I have to stop Peter and say, “I don’t want help” or “I am not asking for your opinion or advice, I am telling you how it is and nothing more.” Peter sometimes gets it, but when he is not paying attention, he babbles out a solution that has no problem. My Dad also does this. He tells me how to fix things that aren’t broken. Dad has gotten better in his age. More mellow. I think he is beginning to fall into the informed category. There are men in my life who just let me talk (and I like to talk….about nothing, just talk), that is why they are still apart of my life. Women, just swap stories. Men fix things. I think this is why men are so activity oriented, much like their communication: it gives them something to do.

Bewitched Bothered and Bewildered am I

Man, my life has taken wings and flown off with out me. I mean it! There are so many things to do and not nearly enough time to do all of them. I still have not even begun to pack. I have, however, gotten the keys to the place and have permission to move in whenever I please. Hurray!! I might spend the night this weekend just for fun. It is so cool. I think that the first thing I will do is install my new Wonder Woman switch plate that I got from Carter for my birthday. This weekend is packed. I am supposed to go to the theatre Friday with a troop of girlfriends, go to a bbq all day on Saturday, plans with friends for dinner and fun on Sat night, Sunday I am supposed to move furniture. Oof. I have been slammed at work. I mean slammed. I haven’t even read the NY Times yet this week! For all I know we have a new president! (Whoa, that would be a miracle!)

home again home again, jiggity jog.....

i am at home visiting with the folks. i am supposed to be in sautee packing for the new apartment. yes, i have a new apartment. i can't remember if i have written about the new place on my blog yet because i have been really busy lately. it is beautiful. it is a small studio type apartment. it is partially furnished with hardwood floors and fancy molding. it has heating and ac (which i haven't had since i lived in atl) and a washer/dryer (hurray no more laundry mats with scary people!). it has all kinds of luxuries because it is on the square in clarkesville. there are a dozen restaurants within walking distance. there is a movie store across the street. there is the flower shop, oh the flower shop. it is five miles from work and ten from wally world. there is no street noise because it faces the backside of the square. all of these things and more are why i am so excited. although for some reason i don't want to pack. i can't decide if it is because the task is overwhelming, i am lazy or if it is because i am afraid. generally speaking, fear is a typical motivation. God has given me this beautiful place to go and i am afraid to go. there is a verse from james that i like: faith without works is dead. somehow, that is motivating. it is about action that shows faith. so i guess i should pack....tomorrow. i should pack tomorrow.

Happy Birthday To YOU!!
Happy Birthday to YOU!!
Happy Birthday DEAR CARTER!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And many more!!!!!
Happy 26!

Hola amiga! ¿Como estas? Muy Bien, ¿y tu?

We have begun on the mighty trek of conversational Spanish. While I recognize that not everyone has had six years of Spanish class, I have never taken conversational Spanish. This means that while I can read and write Spanish all day long, I cannot speak it in communicative sentence to save my life. We are taking “Spanish for Healthcare Professional” from North Georgia Tech for staff development. Last night was our second night and the teacher has yet to teach. She seems nice enough though. I realize she has a lot to offer us because she is bilingual. She just doesn’t seem to be conveying it. Although, it may have something to do with me having too much exposure already and this being the beginning stages of the course. It is funny to see the folks in the office wandering around saying tidbits of Spanish here and there. The Spanish language with a THICK southern accent is very funny. There are all kinds of words that suddenly change meaning in the Spanish language if not pronounced correctly and folks are saying some crazy things round here. Buenos Nachos!

In the heart of every girl is a woman waking up

Oh, a week off from blogger, exactly what I needed. I got a little busy last week and I needed to cut something so it was cut. What a relief to be back and not quite so busy. Oh let’s see, what are the highlights: got a new apartment. That is the biggy. It has hardwood floors, crown molding, washer/dryer, new kitchen appliances, heat and ac, has a back deck (none of these things have I had in YEARS!). It is partially furnished. So I gave away my couch set to a family who had nothing. The rest of my furniture is going in ten different directions as well.

We hired a new sales rep here at work. She is nice and will have to be trained in the middle of the sales season which will be crazy, but necessary. The Savannah office is officially open and running and no sales rep yet, yet there are orders like crazy. The beach boys still aren’t here (for those who don’t know, the beach boys are these two guys from California who are buying us out). Hopefully, they will show up this week, doubtful though. I am taking a Spanish class here at work as a refresher and because it is for healthcare professionals so it will be something to take with me. It started last Monday and is every Monday for the next ten weeks.

Cutesy girlfriend movie of the week: Little Black Book. Worth a matinee with the girls. It was better than I expected it to be and has a cool surprise at the end. Great movie for artists everywhere on DVD: The Company. It is about the Jeoffrey Ballet. Wonderful. Just wonderful.