Get a life?

Who knew that I would have to grow up AND get a life. This is not a very easy comprehension for me. I mean I thought being grown up means having a life that was preinstalled or something. Turns out I suffer from isms and it turns out that my life went from routine to way too much routine (I can't imagine what life is like with out the phrase way too much, but I understand it is supposedly a better way of life). I OD-ed on going to meet with friends and talking about God. I am doing so much talking that I haven't done any living. Now I am a wreck....or as some people say my life has become unmanagable, but that is too big of a phrase for ME to admit to! I am to a point where I am not socializing well, can you imagine me not being social? This is a major effect for me. The more syndrome has gotten me into more trouble. So this evening I am going to chill out at the apartment and spend sometime cleaning and (of course) watching movies. Then I am not going to do any talking until Wednesday and Saturday. Weird. I am supposed to make a list of my desires for me. What do I want? How am I supposed to know? I am just excited that my bills aren't missing a beat. Know what I want too? I know I want a house and a dog--yorkshire terrier. But other than that? Who knows? So, I have to get a life to find out what it is that I want for me. I realize that most of the world knows what they want, but I have never known what I wanted. I thought at one point in time, I think I was in sixth grade, that I wanted to be a lawyer. Now you couldn't pay me for that wish--except maybe the income. The only thing that came out of that desire was that I argued with my folks for the next four years. What do I want? Ugh. When someone knows, will they let me know? I guess I will find out in the excercises I am supposed to do in the next several weeks. As soon as I know, I will let you know!