Yee-eee-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeaaaaawipe out


Yeah that is an awful way to start out this blog, but I can't deal with the amount of people who are dead instantaneaously so I have to laugh a bit. Turns out laughing is a similar enough motion to crying that our emotions sometimes get confused. In all reality the term is appropriate for two reasons. First is obvious, we are missing parts of Asia. Second, that is the way I feel. I don't know which is worse because I have no capablity of processing what's happening in the Indian coasts, so my perception is a miss.

Okay that is enough towards current events. I am exhausted. I got home last night after hauling all the cool stuff I got for Christmas up to my apartment and began to cry. I was so overwhelmed and tired. My apartment was a disaster and there was not enough time to clean it all before I passed out totally on the floor. I called a couple of folks and finally decided it was not a life and death event and that it didn't really matter in the overall picture of things. I had finally gotten everything in order in my new place just to find out it would go bezerk immediately. I guess it will give me something to do on Saturday. Yes that is the next day I have to process. I am babysitting Iris tonight and then three work nights and then crash until next Tuesday (I get New Year's Day on the following Monday....thank goodness!). I will be able to play with my cool scrap book stuff and read my new books and watch dvd's. If I were my big sister from college, Vicki, I could do all three at one time! But I will have three days to do it in instead, which is more my pace. I am so excited I got so much loot for Christmas! I am going to be piecing through it for the next several months! If I ever get that far and not keel over first.

What is there to sing the second day after Christmas? I don't know of any songs and it doesn't seem right to put up lyrics to an everyday song yet.

I am still on vacation. I now recognize I was right to take this Monday off too. I didn't know that I would need it. I thought it would be an 'in case' day. In case of what, I don't know what I was in casing before, but now I know it to be exhaustion and recooping from family. I have finally gotten to a point in my life where I really like being with my family under the definition of nuclear family. My extended family, aunts, uncles cousins and the like, I am still struggling with being comfortable enough to like myself so that I can like them. When I get to a point of total, mental exhaustion I completely breakdown and cry or get angry or both. Last night after not having any sleep due to poor sleeping arrangements the night before, I was ready to go home and say screw the whole thing. Instead, my Mom talked me into staying and made my sleeping arrangements a little better and let me go to bed earlier. I am not a nice person necessarily to begin with, but when I am tired, I am that much more difficult. I can remember when I was little, girls would invite me to stay at slumber parties and the kick was to see who could stay up the latest. I would always win. My family would always suffer. At some point during my being ugly the next day, my Dad would say,"You're never going to another sleepover again, if..." I would always go to my next sleepover. My Dad as it turns out, is a teddy bear no matter how intimidating he pretends to be in the moment. Now that all the extended family is gone, I feel better and more comfortable. It is not often these days that I get as uncomfortable as I was last night. Mostly, I find that as I grow with God and I grow as a person, I am able to be in a previously uncomfortable moment and get through it. I guess, in a way, I got through this one with the help of my Mom. I am still here at my parent's home and am still able to enjoy time with them and my brother. I am glad that I am here. I am glad that I get to go sale shopping with my Mom. I am glad that I stayed.

Good Christian men rejoice,
With heart and soul and voice,
Give Ye heed to what we say,
Jesus Christ is born today,
Christ was born toda---ay
Christ was born today.....

Merry Christmas folks

tweett tweet tweett....oh, whistle while you work, tweettttwetttwettttwettt, come along and sing this song or whistle while you work.....

Okay so sometimes I make up my own words to songs and I can't remember the real ones to save my life.

I get this crazy phone call today and it is one of the other hostesses at work. She goes into this story about how one of the servers has found out they have cancer and is going to be bailing out on the rest of their shifts as a result (wow, talk about a good reason). Why is she calling me I wonder? To work. I am scheduled to work, I say. You are not on the schedule, she says. I am the host, I say. Oh duh, she says and starts laughing hysterically with insecurity. Yeah, I love it when the people I work with are exactly my mirror.

Christmas is coming,
The goose is getting fat....

So today was our office Christmas party. It was great fun. Everyone brought a dish and a present (secret santa swap). My super boss drew my name. We are only supposed to spend ten dollars on the gift, but when the super boss draws your name and she just "loves you" so much, you get more than ten dollars. She gave me a cd/radio. I think it is her way of making up for me having to dump all my music off of my computer. She made me so mad when she did that that I just wouldn't play any music at all(that was three months ago and I still haven't had any music). So she bought me a radio for Christmas. I won't bring any cds in, but I will be listening to NPR alllll dayyyy long. That'll keep 'em away. I finally have decided that they put me in the basement (for those of you who don't know my work was restructured physically because they hired so many new people and they put me in the basement by myself....well technically with the marketing department, but I can't remember the last time a sales person was in the office). I figure is like the republican in the steam room in the "West Wing," except in reverse. Most people here are fans of Neil Bortz and believe that he spouts epochs of truth (bleck by me, but if that is their gig so be it). But I on the otherhand am probably the lone vote for Kerry (well next to William who is the maitenance guy whose desk mysteriously showed up down here shortly after the great move. He is never down here either because he is always fixing things outside or upstairs.) SO, . . . I am down here by my lonesome, except now I will be comforted by sounds of Charles Edwards and Koki Roberts and if I am here late enough Meechelle Norris. Hurray!!

Funny Iris story: Iris discovered bubbles last night. She was whining and crying because she was tired and Megan is trying to get her on a new sleep schedule so she is all messed up right now. Jody was hanging out with me while she was acting all out of sorts and he found a bottle of bubbles somewhere in Iris's closet or room, something. Everytime he blew out a slew of bubbles she would stop and look and say "oooooohhhhhh." Then she would wait ever so patiently for the next set. Then "oooooohhhh"and a small gasp of glee. Now I know why bubbles are so cool.

He loves me, he loves me not, he lovesme, he loves me not, HE LOVES ME!

Well, I figure Christina writes about her boyfriend all the time it is okay for me to write about mine! He was so sweet yesterday. I just couldn't get over it. He called me up to go to dinner. He came and got me. He stopped by my girlfriend's house to drop off gifts. He sat with me to eat dinner and talked of fine things. He is still trying to figure out in his head the concept of Tivo and whether it would now be worth his time to get tv. He pampered me and sweet talked me. He took me to meet with our friends and we sat and talked about God. Then he took me to Wally world seeing as I needed Christmas cards (which there were only two choices of!) and Special K. Then he took me home and whispered sweet nothings in my ear and kissed me goodnight. What a wonderful man to take me on a date in the middle of the week. I am a lucky woman in love.

Aw, you had no idea I was a sap? Well now you do!

With angelic hosts proclaim, Christ is born in Bethlehem…

Last night at the Christmas party at my Mom’s house, we sang and sang and sang. Mr. Foy, Susan’s dad, stood next to me. He said that he was worried about standing to sing because his ears didn’t work like they used to so he has a hard time hearing certain frequencies, also in turn it has made it hard for him to balance as well, so he held on to me for balance a little bit and sang out of tune. He did a marvelous job! He sang his heart out. I like it when people like singing, even if it is not perfect. It tells me their heart is in the right place. There is a clip in Little Women, the movie, where they stand around the piano and sing carols. It makes Christmas, Christmas when carols are sung by a family. It doesn’t make any difference if there are good singers or bad singers. There is something to the adherence of the family that is distinguished by song. It binds and creates and loves a family into being a family. When we were standing around singing the carols, the family felt like a family, instead of this confusion of divorces and children and cousins and aunts and uncles. It was as though the ugliness of our family was cleansed by song. All of the sudden the new members of our family became just as valid as the old members. I guess it is because song is about heart and not head. Just like Mr. Foy, it doesn’t matter if you can sing it is that you sing. Same principal applies to the family. It is not if you are new or old members of the family, it is if you participate in the family that makes you a member. There are some people who are related to me and my parents and brother who do not participate in functions. They do not come to Christmas or Thanksgiving or go to graduations or weddings. They don’t even show up when there is someone special in town from out of town. They just don’t know how to be a member. Sometimes I wish I could tell them that all you have to do to be a member is show up. It is not hard nor does it require a lot of energy. I guess what it does require is a little bit of courage to face your fears. It seems strange to me to have a fear of family, but I recognize that some of my fears appear ridiculous to others. I know that if they sang a familiar tune with me, like a carol, they would bond and know that it is okay to be a participant in the family even if they are a small participant. I wish I could sing a song for them to bond them into this great evolved family of ours. Song would make it all better. It eases pain and makes the fears seem a little less intimidating. Song loves us back to a place of family. I really like our family. It is large and extends with great energy that place of security to me. Knowing that the Christmas party is at my Mom’s house and knowing that people like my Uncle Oze and my cousin Jenny wouldn’t miss it for the world, make it worth going and talking about the nothings of our lives. It places a security around me that lets me know that I am always a part of something larger. It lets me know that I have people who love and care about me even if it is from a distance. And yes, I got all of this out of standing around singing Christmas carols with and next to a man who I felt as though I had never met before, but has been here all of my life. Song makes a difference in my life. I am grateful for it today.

Supercalafragalisticexpialadocious....Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!Even though the sound of itIs something quite atrociousIf you say it loud enoughYou'll always sound precocious.....

This is what I thought of to say to the woman who looked at me with a mean spirit and harshness in her voice as she cursed me for not seating her immediately and without a reservation. I had gotten such a full house last night (I was the hostess) and was so short staffed, that I had to put people on a wait, including my reservations. I am grateful that I thought to say that to her instead of actually saying it to her, because then she would have realized how insane I really am and am not allowed to portray to the public as a servant. I was talking to two former waitresses about last evening's scenario and there is something that we all agreed on: everyone (no matter status or power) should work with the public in a retail and food service industry for at least a year. The woman who tossed her hair and flashed her rings at me last night (like that makes my servers and chefs serve or cook any faster) looked like what I would imagine a baroness would look like. She was stunning, tall, brunette with nicely done make-up and well decorated with high class clothing and accesories. She came complete with an accomodating male. He was tall, dark and handsome with salt and pepper hair. He bowed to her immediate frustration and swept her away to the restaurant across the street that screams class and ironically is run by meth heads. Somehow at the point that her frustration was worn out on me, I came to a complete meltdown on the inside. It is hard to lie and I became tired of doing so about four and a half years ago, so in the most polite ability I told her the truth. I was glad that she left when I was done. Typically, when a customer behaves in such a fashionable display it is good that they go because inevitably they are a hassle all evening and walk out with not only their satisfied misery but also a free meal. It is less costly when they are equally as truthful and run off to plague other environments. My sanity returned when the rush of people were full as ticks and charmingly exiting to their vehicles (people are always easier and more plesant when they are fed, like stray animals) and with it came a pleasant song that rang in my head and made me smile.

Chestnuts roasting on a an open fire
Jack Frost nipping at your nose
Yule tide carols being sung by a choir
And folks dressed up like Eskimos

HOLY COW IT IS COLD! I sat in my car for twenty minutes this morning just to get to a point where the ice thinned enough so I could see. I didn't have an ice scraper so I used my spatula to try and break apart the ice. Although it wasn't really ice. I think it was snow crystals or something. My front windshield would break off like snow and my side windows had little snowflake looking pieces on them. It was as though my car had been decorated by a cloud. There is no humidity in the air at all, so I don't know how all of this is coming to collect on my car. It is supposed to snow on Sunday, which is the day of Mom's party. I hope it does. That would be so cool to go to Mom's Christmas party in snow. It would be like a Maxwell House commercial! Have the car all loaded up with gifts and bundled up in a warm coat and scarf headed down the road. . . no, maybe a Sweetwater Coffee House commercial (my as well have good coffee!).

Last night I waited on a party of 38. They were the youth group from St. Mark's Catholic church. I had no idea it would be as easy as it was. Since it was so many, it was the only thing I had to do. So I was in and out of there easy-peasy and sixty bucks to boot. Apparently, no one else would wait on them, which is kind of sad if you think about it. They were not hard to deal with or anything, just a massive amount of people. It was interesting to see the dynamics of the friendships that were interacting. There were the cool seniors who sat off by themselves in a corner. Then there were the young and up and coming sophomores who were full of youth and innocence with vitality and laughter. Then the juniors, they had that cool omniscence going on amongst them. The freshmen just hid. It was great fun and I think I probably sweated off ten easy pounds running in circles. I was also gratful to be home by about nine fifteen. I love it that I live across the street from where I work. It makes life so much easier.

I finally finished the end of "Out of Africa" last night, too. This is a movie that a girlfriend of mine has been trying to get me to rent forever now and I have finally seen it. It reminded me of "Scarface," I have no idea why people like it. It is awful. I remember going with my parents to that movie and falling asleep through it when I was little. It was so long and the music was so sleepifying. I felt the same thing about it this time around and I am no longer little. Oh well. Next in the queue is Casablanca. That has got to be a good one because Harry and Sally watch it all the time.

The weather outside is frightful
But the fire is so delightful
And since we’ve no place to go
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

No it did not snow this morning, but it should have. Today is the first real day of winter we have had. I am used to having my car iced out for at least two weeks by now if not longer, but for some reason, winter did not show up until the end of yesterday. Mid-day yesterday the temperatures dropped. Very strange. We began the day yesterday at 44 and it went down to 40 and by night fall it was 32 degrees. This morning the bank signs were all fighting between 25 and 26 degrees. No matter how you look at it, it was cold. I expected ice on my car and was grateful to find that the cold was a dry cold. There was not any ice or frost. Although some of the cars here at work are having a spill with the frost all over the cars. We had four fogs in August so I expect that there will be four snows this winter. That is how the wives tale goes. I am glad that winter has shown up. Now I have a ligitamit reason for wearing my leather jacket other than that it qualifies for the season. I wore my new mittens today that my Mom got me last year for Christmas. They are thin...something or another. They are super warm and that is super important for me. I wore my nice wool, silk lined black pants today too. Hurray for winter! Now, for the snow...anyday.

Goodnight you moon light ladies, rock-a-bye sweet baby James.
Deep greens and blues are the colors I choose, won't you let me go down in my dreams?
And rock-a-bye sweet baby James.

I almost felt like I couldn't get enough sleep this weekend. I got home from the concert on Thursday at midnight thirty and I felt like Thursday ran into Friday ran into Saturday. I slept in late (like until ten thirty late!) on Saturday. I worked Saturday night and slept in on Sunday too (ten thirty again!). You'd think I was was a teenager or something. Saturday I got to go to the coffee shop though and that is always a good thing. I had a tasty new creation called a vanilla mocha. It was awesome and spent some time with good friends. When I got home I opened my new netflix movies: The Piano, Out of Africa and Searching for Bobby Fisher. I watched two out of the three. I have yet to sit down with Out of Africa. Then work was slow slow....busyyyyyyyyyyy...dead. Amazing. Restaurants always leave you hanging! Sunday I was going to go to church, but I woke up so late I didn't make it, so I went to brunch with John and his boys. It was great. I had pancakes and scrambled eggs with cheese at Alice's Restaurant. Yummmmmy for my tummmmyyy. The rest of the day was spent with Grace. She is ten and her grandmother just passed and she needed new shoes (because she has grown out of her old ones) for the funeral (and church) and needed clogs for school. I had no idea how hard it would be to find age appropriate shoes for a ten year old who wears a ladies six and a half. We had to go to six stores! It took us five hours! At the last stop we finally found a pair of nice, dainty shoes for her and the name of the shoe was "Gracie" so we knew they were the right shoe. Then while we were in the store I got some new work shoes, too. Couldn't resist. We had been shopping for so long that by the time we were done, Grace couldn't tell her left from her right and we laughed and had hot chocolate all the way home. It was a good day. Then, I was exhausted again. I slept in five minutes for this morning. I am tired, but I know there is another weekend another time and sleep will be mine.

There is no rose of such virtue as is the rose that made Jesus...

I went to my Dad’s high school chorus concert last night, I began to think:

When I was growing up I had no idea Dad had such capability. Mostly, I was selfish and self centered to the core and the only thing I noticed about my Dad was that he told me “no” when I wanted to hear “yes.” I couldn’t see it then, but his “no's” saved my life many times. Now that I am of the age of awareness and am praying for removal of my character defects, there is a strange effect produced. This effect has been told to me is a spiritual experience. The side effects are awareness of “God things” and “God people” in my life and gratitude for those “God things and people”. My Dad is a completely a man of God. My Dad wanted to be a minister of music since he was thirteen. I have no idea what I want to do when I grow up and I am twenty-eight, or as my boyfriend teases me: "pushing" thirty. When my Dad had a life change about the time I was almost thirteen, I took it to heart and was hurt. I had no idea how hurt he was too. Change is hard for everyone, I guess. I also did not know that he was being pruned for the life he leads today. If the point is that we grow along spiritual lines, my father has done just that. While my Father does not "preach" the gospel of Christ, he is an example of living in faith. As a result, he is able to counsel those who need help and is able to guide and shape lives of youth for the betterment of their own lives...through music. Webster's says that a minister is someone who gives aid or service to someone else. My father has always been a man of God and is now a minister of youth through music. Not many people are able to live their dreams out. My Dad has done just that. Oh, my Dad is a genius, which always helps. Genius, according to Webster’s is: a: a single strongly marked capacity or aptitude, b: extraordinary intellectual power especially as manifested in creative activity. This is my Dad. Not many people are capable of having a father like that. Thank God that I do. Thank God that I am able and aware to see (and hear) that today. Thanks for the great performance Dad. It was magnificent.

We were above
You standing underneath us
We were not yet lovers
Dragons were smoked
Bumblebees were stinging us I was soon to be crazy
Eat, drink and be merry
For tomorrow we die'
Cause we're tripping billies

Oh my feet...my aching back...my legs...can you tell who wore the wrong shoes to work last night? Yes, I wore my healed boots for some reason and today I feel as though my lower half is coming apart at the seams. I guess I can only learn from my own mistakes though right? So be it. We had a slow and surprising night last night at the restaurant last night. We were slow and had a 13 top that grew into a twenty top walk in on the spot, no reservations. Typically that would put us in a bind, but mostly it just made us look busy. The thing about the slow amount of people is that it gave the servers the ability to actually serve and they made good money as a result. The restaurant is the only local restaurant that has any amount of atmosphere so everyone goes there. Unfortunately, it is poorly run in the front so a lot of times the service is bad. Last night was just the right pace for good service. There is no such thing as good service on the weekends unless you are a server like me who won't take more than she can handle. Weekends crack me up. I still like it though: the drama (there is always drama), the chaos (food and running equal chaos), the constant surprise of something new (customers spice things up). I love running around and making a couple extra hundred a week. It is also fast, mindless work that pays a living wage. Did you know that most women would rather wait tables than join the "work force" because they 1) don't have to be educated to work and 2) make enough to match that of some executives? I am not that good, but I like it because of the people. Generally speaking, I don't like people, but it is easy to like people for half an hour, to an hour at a time. It is cool to see families come in and sing their blessing or a set of women come in and exchange gifts or have two couples come in and gossip and cut up late night with wine and dessert. Watching the interactions of others even if it is from a warped perspective is what makes me my life interesting. Hopefully, I am just as interesting to others.

And I'm free in you
I've got no worries on my mind
I know what to do
That's to treat you right
And love you kind
Thank you ever on my mind
Love is just like breathing
When it's true
And I'm free in you

So last night was Iris's night. I went to Meg's house to and first thing, Iris didn't cry when she saw me. She played peek-a-boo around the corner of the kitchen cabinet (it was so cute!). Then Megan informed me that Iris had not had a nap all day and that she would probably knock out early. But as soon as Meg began to leave Iris began to cry. The last time Iris had not had a nap all day, we walked the entire time Meg was gone. I was so afraid. So, Meg finally hopped into her car and left me with the crying child. Within fifteen minutes she was out like a light. So I watched some silly movie on TV. Then I realized it was almost time to leave and Iris was still sleeping. I was afraid to wake her. I tiptoed around her and got all of her things together. Then there was the dilemma of the car seat. How was I to get her in it with out waking her? NO PROBLEM! I put her in the car seat and then everything went out to the car. Never even blinked open those beautiful blue eyes. Off we went to meet with friends and talk about God. Iris likes the God talk. She is peaceful, easy feeling when there is God about. When we got there, poof like magic she woke. She wakes up so softly it is hard to tell she is awake. Then she was soo good while all the adults were adults. There were two wanna be moms there who totally entertained her the whole time (much to my relief!), so she was tickled pink. She faked them out so bad. She pretended like she wasn't walking yet so they would carry her everywhere! She is walking like crazy. What a ham! Then the coolest thing ever happened...as I began to load up the Iris pack of stuff, I asked one of the wanna be moms to watch her a moment longer. As I began to walk out the door, Iris began to cry...for me. She was upset that I was leaving her! She doesn't like me at all and here she was asking for me! I couldn't believe it! Iris likes me!! She likes the big bad evil babysitter who makes mom go away! I was so overwhelmed! So all three of us, myself, Iris and the wanna be, went to the car together. Hurray! Iris likes me! Who would ever guess?

i say love will come to you hoping just because i spoke the words that they're true as if I've offered up a crystal ball to look through where there's now one there will be two

Well, I had a pretty good weekend.

First, Friday night I worked at Zanzo's and made over a hundred bucks (yippee for a good Christmas!).

Then on Saturday, I lulled in bed until late. I went to the Christmas Market on the square and picked up some tre-trendy gifts. Then I went to Sweetwater on an errand for my flower shop buddy. Then I went back to Sweetwater to sit around and drink coffee, talk about the Allmand Brothers to a band-aid who lent me his four disc set! WOW! it is super cool! and grab more gifts. I started my new book, Their Eyes Were Watching God, which I remember reading in highschool but haven't read it since, so I ordered a snazy copy online. I am so suprised at the writing. It is SO good. Just the opening line from every chapter makes me want to keep on plugging away at it. It is a hard read though because of the dialect writing...I mean she writes in the style that the characters would say it. It will take me longer than usual, but I read three or four chapters of it on Saturday. Then, off to the movie store. I rented "Before Suset," "The Clearing," and "City of God" (the last of which ended up being not in the dvd case!). The other two were great. I finally found a good movie store to rent from, unfortunately it is not the one on the square in Clarkesville, it is in Cornelia. It has more movies than I can dream of, which I guess is why they call themselves a warehouse...duh. "Before Sunset" has a prequel of "Before Sunrise" (appropriate) which I didn't know about, but even so, I still fell into the movie. It was so romantic. Better than Meg Ryan. That is hard to do! Then Saturday night, John and I headed over to a friend's house to have "Cinncinati Chili" which was excellent and watch the SEC final game. Auburn rocked the house. I was so impressed. I thought it was appropriate that at the end of the game they went to the wrong locker room though...still from Alabama those folks are! John and I had a great time. The tv we watched the game on was enormous. It was a "projected" screen, what ever that means (other than really big!).

Finally, Sunday I went to church. I went to the Episcopal Church behind my house. It was a really nice service and the sermon was on hope. It was about the preparation of hope. It was good. The only thing about Episcopals that just grates me is that their music doesn't make a bit of since. It might have to do with the music staff there though. Every song is something off the wall and difficult, none of it is standard carols. It would make sense for the music to at least be singable, but it just isn't. I don't understand that yet. Guess I will find out why over time. Then Sunday was busy. I went to Clayton to take care of some business, and then back home to go to a meeting. I was out of milk and things and had to run to the store. I ended up in bed on time, but could go to sleep to save my life. I ended up reading about King Arthur until about eleven o'clock, when I finally gave up. I love the stories of King Arthur...well the book is the Once and Future King, but I am on the middle book and it is just as good as the first. I can't wait for the third.

Today is a restful day with only a small bit of work. Normally I would say that this is the "big" fax day that takes three days, but they (being upper management) recognized my pain and got me a super fax machine as compensation for putting me in the basement by myself. I am done for the day and it is only three o'clock. I don't know what to do with myself! It is lovely.

Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man....

I can’t believe that I haven’t blogged since Friday!! And that I forgot to tell my Dad happy birthday on my blog……

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!

Sorry bout that Dad, I think I got carried away visiting with you and the rest of the family. I would have to say that in the past couple of days I have been in better spirits as a result of my days off. I think sometimes if I don’t plug into my family, I just go bonkers. I feel like my batteries are recharged. Work doesn’t even seem that bad, which is amazing because I thoroughly dislike my job. I came in on Monday morning to find that they had completely moved me to the basement. I am down here by myself with no one to bother me. My work gets done faster, my life is not nearly as interrupted and my insides are not so screwed up. There are a few stragglers on occasion nosing around trying to find out what is down here other than me…..nothing. My boss and the rest of the marketing crew won’t be here until after the holidays. They are trying to give a Christmas gift to every doctor who refers to our services in the next three, four weeks…that is like eight hundred doctors a piece covering the entire state of Georgia, parts of the Carolinas, Tennessee and Alabama. It also means that I am here alone with little to no visitors. I think it really helps my attitude!

My vacation went well. I played a game with my brother and Dad called the “Settlers of Catan” which is similar in nature to monopoly, but not nearly as long or as treacherous. The really cool thing is that not once did I quit or was told to leave the game. That is really cool. I also watched almost the entire second season of the West Wing. I wasn’t sure that anyone else thought like I do until I saw that program. I recognize that I am a minority in politics here in Podunk County with a whole state that is “red.” Sometimes it gets overwhelming though and between the West Wing and my parents, I am recharged and no that I am not alone in my ideas of politics. Although the republican woman on West Wing did make me think and quite possibly change my mind on the era amendment. I don’t know, I still have to think about it. I don’t know that I could ever get enough of the West Wing. It is just good drama, kind of like Law and Order, good drama.

We also as a family went to a funeral. I don’t particularly care for funerals. They are not “Fun.” But I do care about people who are touched by heavy grief. I have never personally experienced heavy grief. I guess I use the term heavy incorrectly because what I mean is intimate. The people who have died around me make sense and I don’t have sorrow over them. My grandmother is fine. She is one of the best Christian women I know and have ever known. My friend Milton is fine. He was right with the world and God. My friend Jeff, who died of an overdose, is probably right where he is supposed to be. I don’t even pretend to guess in God’s judgment on issues like that. My God is an infinite God and can probably think of more possibilities than I can ever imagine. Just the same none of these people were my father or my mother or my best friend. Mostly they were at arms length. I think it meant a lot to the man’s wife that not just my parents were there rather that we attended as a family. He was a good childhood memory for me, but I can’t say when the last time I saw him was. I know to my parents, he was much more. I know that he was a friend. I know that as a family friend, he is a great loss because now when we share memories, and use the past tense verbs something will set in that there will never be another present tense for him. That is sad. I was glad that we went. There is something to be said for familiarity no matter how long ago it was.

Sunday was my slug day. I traveled and slept. I was grateful to be a slug. Sometimes it is just needed. I was grateful to get back to John too. I didn’t realized how much I missed him until I saw him.

I think I have decided to get a small, live tree this year. I am tired of not having a Christmas spirit home and it is something I have wanted since I moved up here and have never been able to have. I know that my living space won’t handle a regular tree, but there is a tree farm up the road from me and I am sure they will have all sizes. That would make a nice memory for me even if I have to vacuum every night. Christmas is here. I am excited because I have made another decision to attend the Episcopal church during advent. I don’t know if I will be a regular, but I want to experience advent again. I miss not going to church and I have been sitting in on their Sunday school class for some time and drop in on occasion to their church service. I really like the people and the priest. The priest has the ability that Dr. Gannon had a Smoke Rise: she has never forgotten my name after I introduced myself. That is a talent. I didn’t think I would meet another person like that, but I did. She doesn’t have the tear button though. I like her. I think Christmas will be good as a result.

Vacation and Christmas…I have a feeling it will get more intense through out the month. December is a hectic but entertaining month. I am glad it is at the end of the year. If it were a kick off, I would be worn out by February.