Posting from Megan's house. She is internet saavvy....although tonight she is about to be in lots of pain, wisdom teeth came out today (hurray and eeiuuff). Off to have fun and eat icecream with the gal. WOOHoo!!

WOOOHOO!! Work's got a computer and I am back in blogging business!!

Megan took all of her tests and passed for the Art Institute! Go Megan!! Now they still are in process of financial aide (bleck). I am emergency babysitting for Iris tonight. That is a good thing. I am excited. I miss Iris bunches and bunches. Talked with Iris's Dad yesterday and Iris might join the party on Saturday night so she can meet my Mom and Dad. He didn't commit to it, but he said he would think about it, which is code for if Iris feels like it!

Today I went to lunch with my new boss lady who shall be named, Dr. W. because she is short her doctorate by a disertation, at the local "Market Cafe" which is delectable beyond reason. Today they had a sign up that said "ask about our icecream cake" so I asked about the ice cream cake. WOW. . . It was a coffee and cream with chocolate mixed in covered in chocolate drizzle and lined with an oreo crust. It was THE BIGGEST piece of ice cream I have ever been served. I swear they cut me a quarter of the cake. It is the first time in my life that I can say, I didn't finish my ice cream. It was unbelievable.

Dog sitting is getting boring, but I am getting attached to the dogs. My allergies are vicious because of the cats that are living with the dogs. Unfortunately, my sneezles set in right as I wake up which means I am a big snotty nose until about mid-day. But I the dogs are the best dogs ever!

So much to say so little time. . .

I feel like I haven't blogged in forever. My mind still thinks in blog segments though. I see a funny event and say "oh, that will work for today!" Yet without the available computer, having to use the library because I am one of those without, although I am thinking it is going to be a worth while investment to buy a laptop, I am not as quick to write as I used to be.

Started working this week, at Manna. Things are slowly arriving for the store and I am cleaning and unpacking, organizing and creating. There is something fun about a new store that makes it . . .wonderous. Of course being there from the beginning is quite an experience too. I have not heard anything from the unemployment thing which is weird. Mostly, I just want an answer to have an answer not so much to have a specific answer.

Am working on the lsat stuph. Turns out that I have until then end of August to register. I also have till the end of August to earn two hundred dollars just to take the damn thing. ERG. I can't remember it being this expensive to take the regular tests to get into college, but then again, I wasn't paying for it. I know that Dad wouldn't let me apply to any out of state colleges because the out of state tuition was ludicrous (yeah, so I went to Agnes Scott! Oh well he tried!). Other than that I didn't know much about money then.

Am still dog/cat sitting for my friend Sherry. She won't be back until the first of August. She called and chatted with me to make me jealous of her vacation.

OH! In great news, Megan is going back to school! She is applying to the Art Institute of Atlanta. She is going to get a certification online and then once Iris is school bound, might finish up with a bachelor's degree from there! Cool huh? I am excited for her. She has purchased a snazzy computer and everything just to get going with it. She won't know if she got in until next month and if she did then she will start almost immediately. EXCITING!! GO Meg!

Birthday party is on Saturday! Yeah!! AM going to be officially five (as opposed to only being consumated with the day I will have the party too!). Everyone is coming and will be there. Mom, Dad, Michelle, Megan, John. . . and about thirty to forty others whom I have invited! Tee hee. Yeah, we are going for dinner ahead of time to the Mexican restaraunt. I can't wait to see how many show up! That is the coolest part is inviting everyone and then seeing everyone and then laughing and having a good time with everyone! I am excited.

I am doing a "house cleaning." I use quotes because I am doing this in two fashions. First, I cleaned my house literally: floors, (my vacuum broke:() windows, fridge, trash, etc. Second, I am doing an inventory on my employment. I am trying to figure out why I attract bad employers or am I a bad employee or what is it that is consistent about my employment and dump all kinds of resentments. Some people call it a fourth step. I say some people. I call it a fourth step! The third and final thing I am doing is cleaning out my closet. My parents have successfully sent me home with boxes that are overflowing out of my closet into my hallway. I recognize that they will continue with such agregious acts until all my things are out of their home and into mine! Not that I can blame them. I have can't imagine hauling around anyone's things other than my own, but I am just selfish like that!

My point to all of this is that I was rooting around in a box of pictures and memorabilia that means only something to me and I found my AP scores (ouch!! Although, who would guess my best score was on the AP English exam?) and my SAT scores (didn't look much prettier!). The thing I found interesting was not the scores though. The most interesting thing was this little box that said "Applicants intended major" and the answer in it was "Prelaw."

Guess I have wanted to practice law longer than I honestly believed!

My life goes faster than my blog. Let's see. . .

My girlfriend from Agnes Scott is studying to be a nun. I say studying, because it seems like work to me! She has a blog that is humble, but really well written. When I first met her she was being wheeled out of the Walters dorm on a gurney for attempted suicide. Needless to say, there has been a change. She was an awesome person to go to college with and I am grateful she was unsuccessful in her attempt. She and I have a lot more in common than I thought before reading the blog. She was in the Agnes Scott Magazine I recieve. This month's focus was on faith and values. It was really interesting for the first time.

My unemployment hearing was this past Wednesday. Wow. That was hard. It was like being in an emotional boxing match. Thank goodness it was over. I don't know that I will get any money from it, but at least I stood up for myself. I feel better about myself. I was grateful I didn't say anything nice, but I didn't say anything ugly either. I was honest, open and direct. That was the point of the excercise. They called me all kinds of names. The worst that they came up with was that I was really bad at working with others. They actually used that phrase: "Working with others." I felt like saying THANK YOU FOR REITERATING MY KINDERGARTEN TEACHER!! I always got an "N" for needs improvement in that area. plttttt! I have yet to figure out how a social butterfly like myself doesn't work well with others. Whatever. I figure if that is the worst they can say, well then I am making progress. People used to use explitives when talking about me, now they just say I don't work well with others! Progress not perfection!

OH! I got my first sun burn of the summer. I was detailing a car for some extra cash and was in my sports bra and Nike shorts and my back looks like . . . a sunburned back. It is not really bad, but on me everything looks bad because I have alabaster skin. It hurts today, but it will be gone by tomorrow. I have had much worse. My worst burn was when I laid out at Lake Lure in North Carolina. My back was purple in less than thirty minutes. That was aweful. I mean aweful. I had to teach swim lessons lying flat on the diving board with ice on my back for days. Purple.

Last but not least. Megan has decided to get a new babysitter. Her friend's daughter just got her CPR certification and is willing to watch Iris for $10 a night. Megan hasn't figured out that 1) the 14 year old is not going to stay up until midnight, rather her friend will, watching Iris and 2) it will cost the same amount in gas that it does for my sitting fee and
3)Iris won't get in bed on a regular basis because she will be moved over and over.
That is my arguement to keep me as a babysitter, but Meg already made the decision. So there probably won't be any more Iris stories. Which sucks. It really hurt my feelings that she chose someone else over me to care for Iris. So much so that my insides right now say that I will never babysit again. I don't know that that's true, but it feels like the mean side of me screaming inside. I cried a lot last night after she told me. But I fugure Megan has to do what's right for Megan and I have to do what's right for Rachel. It still sucks though.

Today I went with my girlfriend Megan to the Nacoochee Grill for lunch. She, Iris and I had BBQ Duck quesadillas, balsamic salad, fishspread, icecreambrownie and creme brulee. MMMM......The lady brought the check and she gave it to me. I thought that Megan was going to leap out of the top of her head with fury. "What don't I look like I could pay the check?" She says. Whatever. . .meanwhile it is boiling in her head...
"She gave you the check because you are older and because you don't have a baby!!" Meg says. You can see veins coming out of her head by now. I politely calmed her down and reminded her that she couldn't tell what the lady was thinking.
"Besides, who cares?" I say (My Dad taught me that one--yes I still remember you telling me to tell Laura across the road who cares). We get outside in the blinding sunlight and the terrencial (sp) rains, hop in the car and she says:
"I think we look like lesbians in there and you were the big mama."
"WHAT?????!!!!!!******* Blank look on my face***What are you talking about?(pause) Why do I get to be the BIG Mama, does that mean that I am butch? Do you think I am butch?"
"No, we could be lipsticks though."
WHATEVER....so now I am the big mama....don't mess with my baby....ERG......I wonder how John feels about this.

Today is my fifth birthday. What does this mean exactly? It means that five years ago, I came to in a hospital with a woman talking to me, asking me (what I percieved to be as) rude questions. Turns out she was taking a survey. She was a shrink or counselor or something. She came to see whether she should send me to the "Crisis" center next door. She asked me: "Do you ever drink and drive?" I politely (sarcasm) replied: "How the *&^%$ else am I supposed to get home from the bar!" No, she didn't ask me any more questions after that. My family told me later that my BAC was a .28, which is a little over the legal limit for driving, but seriously impairing without driving. At the point where they drew my blood, I hadn't had a drink in about six or seven hours. I haven't had a drink since. I had a little information in my memory as to how I ended up in the hospital. It is really foggy. I was in something known to some as a black out. I hear it talked about on the radio (99x) as something funny. "Hey I can't remember what I did last night!! Ha! HA!HA!" In reality, if you can't remember what you did last night because of alcohol, you are not normal. Normal people always remember. Normal people always stop when they get that kick. They say something like "Oh, dear me, I feel a little whoozy, I think I'll stop!" and in front of them sits half a glass of wine or more. I never had that problem. There was no such thing as "whoozy" for me. It was an unbelievable sensation. It was as though I disappeared. It was my best friend. Now, unlike the DJs on the radio who encourage sick things, I didn't just black out for a night because I was at a party with a band. I couldn't put together the things I had done since July 4th. That was the last day I could remember. It was common for me to lose weeks. The little lady that asked me if I drank and drove realized what had happened to me and that I had just "come to." Thank God for that woman. She sent me to the Crisis center and it was all up hill from there. 5 years, no alcohol. You try it, if you can do it, you might not be like me, but you still might. Crazy thing that alcohol. Cunning, Baffling, Powerful.

How cool a birthday present has God given me? Let me tell you what! Not only is there one of my favorite celebrities calling out my name in a great movie, (Tom Cruise in War of the Worlds) but it turns out after taking Grace and Cooper to see Batman, there are TWO movies out with a hunk screaming my name!! (Interestingly enough, my hero and my brother's teenage hottie winner, Katie Holmes gets to kiss both of them!) HELLO???!!! Did no one think to say: Hey Rachel, you really need to go see the man you have been so blatantly in love with since he was ten and singing on a Japanese airfield because he is in a new movie screaming your name!! No. You didn't. Lovely, I found out myself. Thank you Christian and Tom for calling on me this summer, you make my heart skip a beat!!

So now that we know as Americans that all of our forces are on the other side of the world in the wrong place yet terror is still happening, can they come home to be here to help us and protect us? HELLO? Is there anyone else out there who realizes that what happened in London today could have just as easily been Atlanta or San Fransico or LA or Boulder or WHO CARES, it could have been us? Does it occur to any one that the continued attack proves the point: what the hell are we doing in Iraq? I have yet to see an address by the President. I have only to see the SECRETARY? of Homeland Security? Why is there no response? The President should be sending condolences to the victims families, to our ally, Britain and to the American people for the fact that he is losing in the "war on terror" that he so viciously lied to us about in the first place.

ARG>>>>>>>>........It's my blog and I will cry if I want to.....

In other news, I went to see my cousins for the fourth of July. It was good. I was grateful to see my cousin Rachel and her husband Mike and their two children. They have really beautiful children. I have an affinity for Rachel that I don't understand and I was really glad to see her. The rest of the gang showed up too. Unusually though, Uncle Oze was sorely missed. I don't know that he has missed a family thing in a long time, but his abscence was noticed. I hope he had a fun day just the same. Strangely, even though fireworks were legalized in Georgia this year, I didn't see any. I heard a great many, but never saw a one.

Iris is back from vacation with her Dad. She has begun cussing. I am assuming this is coming from Dad because of the situation in which she did it. She picked up her tool box, turned it up side down, dropped it and said "Ammit!!" And stormed off into a fuss. I consider that cussing, wouldn't you? I didn't really know how to compensate. I don't know that she knows what she is saying or that it means anything bad, so I did the next best thing, told Mom. Meg dealt with it. I think furry, fire and brimstone were all a part of it.

John and I are going out tonight for dinner and the theater. Sherry got free tickets to the musical at Sautee this year. I didn't even hear about the auditions, otherwise I would have tried out. We are going to see "Putting It Together, a musical review" by Stephen Sondheim. I would have totally wanted to be in it had I known it were going to happen. Instead, I get to go see a friend of mine be in it who studied under William H. Macy. I am looking forward to the good food at the Sautee Nacoochee Valley Guest House and the production. It is the first double date John and I have been on in a while so that will make it fun too.

Unemployment "hearing" is scheduled for July 13. It will be a telephone call. My arguement is that the policy and procedure that I was to follow was laid out in an employee handbook for which I signed awareness of on January 13, 2004. While I did violate group rules number one, procedure says that I am to get a written warning. As an employee, I have not recieved any written warning, therefore, due to procedure not being followed by the employer, I was fired without cause. Case closed, give me my money. Michelle says that I have to stand up for myself and that while, yes it is about money, it is also not about money. It is about me standing up and saying what is right and what is fair. It is about me standing up for me and protecting the integrity that I have worked so hard to establish in the past five years. It is about me having self esteem, self confidence and doing everything that I can to uphold the values and morals I have set for myself. She makes the money thing seem irrelevant. She is right, it is about the money, but it is soooo not about the money. It is about me being me and being proud to be me. Even if the state turns me down, at least I will know that I did everything in my power to protect and stand up for me.

Well I am 29 for the first time today. I can hear in my head people saying, so how does it feel to be 29? Like they did when I turned 16 and still couldn't drive (not that that wasn't my own doing mind you). It is about like that feeling though. Okay now that I am here, what's new? Nothing really. I remember getting contacts when I was 16 and immeadiately jumping into the pool with them in my eyes and opening my eyes under water without thought. I have been told that this is the best time of my life...which coincides with what they told me about highschool. I think the best time of my life is what I make it. I am happy today. I have a lovely place to live, people who love me near and far. I love people near and far. I am clean and sober and smoke free today. These are things not special to my birthday though, they are just special to me. My Dad is so funny because these days if you ask him how his day is he will say he is having a good day; even if the sky is falling he is having a good day. He says it is a decision we make each day. We can have a good day or a bad day, it is up to me. Today is a good day. I just happen to also be 29.