I have heard of a land,
On a faraway strand,
It's a beautiful home of the soul.....

Sometimes I take my life for granted. A friend of mine is back to the same spot I was three years and some odd months ago. It is really sad, because I wish I could help and show the way to the place I am today. Just over three years ago, I could have never imagined doing the things that I am doing today. I had seen people like who I am today, and wondered how that it was that they could just do and be and were happy. I could see what I wanted, I just didn't know how to get it.

Reagan was my roommate in Atlanta. She had a lot of what I wanted. She seemed to always have her stuff together. She was active in all areas of her life. It appeared that she lacked nothing. I felt like I was looking through a plate glass window and I couldn't open the window. I just wanted to be happy instead of miserable. The misery attached to more misery and more misery, like I was drowning. I can still feel it today. The thing is, today it is not real. It is just a feeling: a memory. My friend has entered insanity. I hope I don't have to pull out my black dress. Today, I take for granted that I am happy, joyous and free. I take for granted that it only takes me a few seconds to shake off my groginess in the morning, as oppossed to most of the day. I take for granted that I have clean clothes on and can take a bath in a bath tub that is clean. I smell good and have money in the bank. I take for granted that I am not falling apart on the inside and there are not black puffy circles under my eyes. I actually feel good today--mentally, physically and spiritually.

My meditation this morning had a prayer at the end of it that I really like: God let me have the willingness to do the things that make me feel good today. Sometimes those are tough things for me to do, but when I do them.....it makes all the difference.

In that beautiful home,
Where we'll nevermore roam,
We shall be in that sweet by and by....