Easy Does It

How am I supposed to do it easy? Everything seems so hard. Even journaling seems difficult today. Normally, I have a hundred topics placed in my head and today.....nope, nothing. I know that yesterday I used up a lot of energy being arguementative with the radio and frustrated by the CMI. I also become exhilirated when I was given an under the table job opportunity. It would be more money and more benefits and an overall well roundedness. I would have more responsibility to boot. It is not official yet. At the same time, I don't care if it is official or unofficial. I am just grateful that someone wants me in an employment capacity. I mean, this person recognizes that I am capable, intelligent, primed individual. I am worthy of more than where I am right now. That is reassuring to know that people think of me that way and that I am not just being cocky or egotistical, that I am just being confident. That is a very fine line to walk. I think, yes I understand this is a dangerous thing for me, that I just am emotionally hungover from yesterday. I mean, I was off the deep end with energy and today...blah. The weather is like that outside too. Everything is foggy and drippy. Blah. That always make me think that God agrees with me when the weather matches my attitude. I know that is not true, but it is funny and on some days, very comforting. I did hear something that is comforting, much more than easy does it, I heard that: "It is a beautiful day in God's world today." I guess I can choose to participate in that beauty or not. I also heard that: "Your appreciation for the gift will be shown through your action." I know that my life is a gift. I know that God gave me this gift through grace. I also know that gratitude is best shown through my attitude. Guess it is time to change my attitude, time for.......an attitude of gratitude!!! Careful, when I do this, there is a surge of energy that is all positive. I am grateful for having a Higher Power today; I am grateful to be going to my Mama's today; I am grateful to be alive and able today; I am grateful to have several families today: home, spiritual, and work; I am grateful for being able to care for myself today; I am grateful for being able to pay my bills today; I am grateful for becoming willing to be an adult; I am grateful for being grateful. This could go on for days, but at least it gives my mind something positive to do for a while. Better. I feel better. I am grateful for feeling better...I am grateful for ......everything.