You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it.....

I figured out today that I am definitely turning into an adult. The alarm went off this morning and I was awake. Lately, I have also noticed that on Saturdays my days start early enough that I can go meet with friends and talk about God at nine in the morning in Dalonega and am on time. This is strange considering I have been a teenager for so long. I love being sixteen forever. It means that I didn't have to worry about things like credit or loans or ........responsibilities. Ech. Next month, my hospital bills will be paid for in full, which I did, all by myself. On Halloween, I will have a two thousand dollar credit card paid off in full, and another three hundred dollar one paid off as well. That is insane!! I make regular payments on my student loans and regular things to boot (ie rent, power, phone, etc.). Who would guess that I would run out of being sixteen and be an......adult. My behavior doesn't always reflect what I do though. I mean, sure, I am slowly but surely becoming a credited adult, but I still feeeeel sixteen and I sometimes still act sixteen. My insides say "let's go to the pool or the beach," "let's go to the movies with a crew of people and then to the Pizza Cafe," or "after rehearsal we are going to someone's house and hang out." Hanging out is a big thing. Now I go to bed at ten o'clock....willingly. I work hard and get all my work done efficently so as not to have any,....homework?no flack from my superiors!How did this happen? How did I get to a point that I am painting my own apartment--which by the way is almost clean, the big wall is almost painted save the last quarter panel of it, so I should have half of the apartment super cleaned by tomorrow--or being a part of people's lives so much so that I hardly find time to go to my parents house? I have actually had a boyfriend for more than two weeks of going together....it's been over a year! Whoa. What happened?! How did I get here?! "When you grow up, you're heart dies." But you know what, this is not true no matter how long I believed in this statement. My heart is just as strong as ever and has just as much ability to love as it ever did. When did I make that decision that it was okay to grow up?!!!!!!!!!!!

oh,
three years ago