Keeping it Simple

Who knows how it is that this head of mine can make something so simple and make it ten times more complicated than ever thought possible. For example, my apartment and cleaning it. Now, cleaning it would take a whole whopping thirty minutes. Maybe if I wanted to super clean it, it would take me an hour. But something inside of me says nope. Won't do it. Not gonna do it. Usually, this is a sign that I am in denial about something. So then, when I agree with my head and don't do it....things get complicated. My life goes into overload with activites and wants and needs. I gotta do this,. . .and I gotta do that. . . (gottas are baaaad) and basics go out the window. Laundry, in the meantime, gets piled and the apartment, well, . . .goes to hell in a handbasket. I don't know who I think I am kidding. What it really boils down to is that I am afraid of myself and when I clean I am with myself and by myself. Therefore, I sometimes get afraid. Then once I get cleaning, my self esteem kicks in and viola, I am happy. Real happiness too not just the adryneline kind of happy. I begin to paint and watch movies and do all kinds of things all by myself. (haha song...Don't wanna be. . . .ALL BY MYSE-ee-ELF!) Once I get rolling, I usually don't stop. Ah, yes, activating self love is sometimes difficult for me. It always makes me feel better when I do it though. Keep It Simple Stupid! Probably by the time I get home I will convince myself that . . . march two three four, YES! (kick)Its all for the. . . (kick) Yes! its all for the. . .(kick)Yes!It's all for the BEST!! (walk two three four, step, throw arms!!!) music. I have heard my brother say that life needs a soundtrack,.......mine has one.