And I don’t want the world to see me
Cuz I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want to know who I am

So I bought this photograph (as opposed to doing what I was supposed to do which was picking up my dry cleaning!) from this woman that was in the production that I went to last Thursday. It is awesome—both the production and the photograph, however right now I am referring to the photograph. It is of a young woman on cement, barefoot, torn and crying. It is beautiful. It conveys so much emotion it almost makes me cry. The reason I mention it is because I got it today. It was hanging in an art gallery and had a certain time it was supposed to be there, so I obtained it now that it is over, the showing that is. She is beautiful. Right now, she is hanging in my cubicle adjusted by push pins with the above quote (and then some) written out next to her. She conveys hopelessness. I remember that and I totally relate. I don’t want to ever go back to that state and I think this photograph will help remind me of where I began. Strangely enough, I know her personally. I mean the girl in the photograph is also a friend. I remember too, when she used to be that way, hopeless and helpless and today she is not.

I think I am going to paint a piece tonight. A combination of music and the photograph have created inspiration in me. I am also going to rent a movie, prepare for my trip and touch up the homestead. I never realized that when you live in a place, it gets dirty. Not necessarily filthy or grimy or nasty or anything, just dirty, i.e. a glass left in the living area, an empty coffee mug with tea stains next to the bed, dirty clothes on the floor in the dressing room….dirty. Things are just misplaced. There are still lines in my carpet.

I am going on a trip, did I tell you? I am going on a women-only, spiritual retreat at Rock Eagle. I have gone in years past and had decided for person reasons to stop going. However, things have changed and as much as I like my friends at work, my one good friend, I haven’t had an opportunity to spend any friend time with her because we work together and after a tough day, I just can’t deal with work folk. So we are going together and spend some non-work, friendship time together. I am excited. I am taking a half-day tomorrow to go. It is exciting. Trips away are always good for the spirit, whether there is any retreat or not.