Last night I got nervous. I have had this interview with the Sautee Nacoochee Community Arts Association for a week now and last night I got nervous. I found out about a month ago that the Arts Center was reconstructing their staff to better align with their ideals. They had a couple of people go on to bigger and better things so there was plenty of room for restructuring monies. One of the positions created was an office manager. Nothing fancy, just an office manager with some bookkeeping skills please. I actually heard about it prior to it being listed through the flower shop. I was able to react quickly and dropped my cover and resume off. Finally, a month later I get a call. Finally. Hurray! I think. Hurray! They scheduled me for March 1 at four o'clock so that I can get off from my current job and make it to the interview. Hurray! What nice people. I am ticking through my days one by one with new and interesting points each day.

Last night I got nervous. No build up. No warning. Just couldn't go to sleep. Finished watching Sabrina. Yawned, while thinking, a load of wash is a good idea. I put in a load of darks and then....What if I get the job? What if I don't? If I do, I could practice and maybe teach some of my instruments to children. Maybe run a choir or be a musical director for a show! What if I don't get the job there? Will they still let me do the summer musicals? Will there always be that awkwardness that happens? If I get the job, maybe I will buy a house. What if they don't offer me enough? What if I have to turn it down? Then I would be stuck at same old same old. That isn't exciting at all. I think I will do my new home in a tuscan theme with iron rod beds, sunflowers, some crucifixes and pictures of Mary. Too bad I am not Catholic, they have cool stuff. Time for bed, but I'm not sleeping. Arg....I can read that always makes me sleepy.

Last night I got nervous...OH no! Mordred is going to ruin Lancelot and Guenvere's love and then the triangle will be broken. If the triangle breaks then Camelot will crumble without Arthur! Stop reading. Go to sleep. I could do a tuscan theme in the bed room at least. Do the paint myself and...go to sleep.

Last night I didn't go to sleep. Last night I got nervous. My head wouldn't let me go to sleep. I woke up to the alarm at 6:10 am this morning on less than six hours of sleep, after a shift a Zanzo's, and I have an interview today. It my as well be an audition. I hated auditions in school. That was half the reason I didn't do the productions in school was I was afraid of the audition. So I just didn't. I always thought the others were better than me or less than me depending on who I was comparing myself to, but the reason they got the part is because they auditioned. Carter says that I need to realize my greatness. I think I could be great amongst musicians. I used to be great amongst my family and they are musicians. This could lead to my realization. This could lead to greatness. I am still nervous and I couldn't sleep last night.