so we’re okay
we’re fine
baby i’m here to stop your crying
chase all the ghosts from your head
i’m stronger than the monster beneath your bed

Sometimes my perception is so warped. I can’t tell which direction is up. I get busy with conversations in my head about what people might or might not say. Ugh. It is so exhausting fighting off expectations. The other thing that happens when I get warped is that I feel all kinds of emotions that are based on fiction and not fact. It happens the same time every month too. Imagine that. Last night I watched the end of Big Fish. That movie has grown on me. I kind of like it and may include it in the collection for no other reason than its oddity. I was reading Ada and Inman last night and their world is so different from the one I live in and to think it was just a little while ago that they lived that way. The jacket cover said that Cold Mountain was Frazier’s first novel. Man, he is a wealth of knowledge and literature. How many people get a film release off their first novel? I think I like the fantasy world a lot which is why I read books and watch movies. Those two things always settle my head. Usually, when I come away from them my perspective is not so warped and I feel better. Like last night when I went to bed, I could actually go to sleep because of the movie and the book because I was not caught up in the worry of unnecessity that comes with my thinking when I get like this. Michelle says turn to God in times of trial: know that I am powerless over the effect of pms. I think a lot of people say this, the trial part, she is just the person I listen to. That is such an easy route. However, sometimes when I pray, I forget that I am praying and walk face first into the crazy thinking. I have to regroup and start over, but I don’t think God minds. He probably just twiddles his thumbs until I get back on point. I went to the Starbucks Oracle seeking clarity. It asked me to put in my order for the coffee I drink. The oracle’s wisdom was that I was clueless. I think it maybe right.