There is something in your voice that makes my heart beat fast...
Hope this feeling lasts for the rest of my life....
It feels like home to me...

There are moments in my life when it is so real and so unbelievable that I don't just feel it. I can taste, smell, touch, see and know that it is real. It is a sensation that books are written for and the theatre tries its hardest to portray. I call them Dawson Creek moments. Those kids can convey themselves better than anyone I have ever seen. When I have those moments and I am clear enough to catch the moment, then I have to look around to see if there are cameras anywhere. I have had plenty of those moments that are twenty-twenty hindsights. To catch it in the moment though...

...it is all encompassing and makes my fingertips tingle...

I know people who live thier whole life like this because I have seen them actively persue it, create it and maintain it. It makes my heart stand up just thinking about it. The most interesting thing about these moments is that when I bring them to my consciousness and no one is around, emotionally, I go right to that spot. It makes me know that I am human capable of love. That has got to be what that sensation is. It can't be anything other than love.

My first recognition of the moment was when a friend came to me and told me that what they had done was wrong and they would try not to do it again and the sheer honesty, integrity and courage mixed with humility was.....not like anything I had experienced before that moment. Or the time I had someone leave me who was one of the first who I had tried desperately to be a friend and who I had opened myself up to be vunerable to and had them not just leave but slam the door leave and the pain of that loss spewed out of every pore in my body to a point that I didn't think I would ever stop crying. Then there was the reality that I didn't want the life that I was leading and needed something more and had to make great strides to change that would be hard and painful and joyous. Or the time that I was honest about what I wanted with another person who to this day I love every ounce of and yearn to have in my life at that level only to face the determination of them as contrasting and incompatible, which I let go of on a moment by moment basis. Or the moment when I knew...

...I knew that I wouldn't rather be with any other man for the rest of my life...

I love moments like that.