I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end

I have been simplifying my life lately; little things that have made my life easier. I am being me and not worrying about the rest of the world. I guess the easiest way to explain things is this: I have quit pursuing things. Not that my ambitions have gone out the window or anything. I am just not trying desperately to be someone’s best friend or trying to be the best girlfriend or trying to be the best at anything really. It has made things so much easier. I have all kinds of time to do the things that I want to do, i.e. keep my apartment clean, pack a lunch, keep my clothes clean, watch movies, spend time with Iris, go to the flower shop or the coffee shop, read, read, read, meditate, pray, paint. It is as though my life is coming back to me. I am not in a constant mental crunch about what he thinks or she is doing. This pursuing is something that I found in my last inventory and was mentioned to me by a good friend as being a defect of character. So I have been praying for God to remove it from me in conjunction with practicing the opposite action. It is nice. My life is not nearly as difficult. I am well into my second new book and I can’t remember the name of it. It was reviewed on NPR and so I snagged it off the internet a while back. I have had it for what seems like forever, however, I have never found time to read it. Now that I am not so concerned about everyone else, I have found plenty of time to read it. I light my candles at night before bed: one for me, one for Milton (he is dieing of lung cancer), and one for a good friend in need. I figure if the Catholics do it so that God can better hear better, it can’t hurt for me. But I read and light candles for those I care about and it is nice. I read for thirty minutes and turn out the light by ten thirty. Simple.