Heaven bend to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Oh my, there is nothing like a little gratitude for my life to make me cry. I went last night to the place where I began. I went to the blue house. It was turkey dinner with Tom and Elaine Hickey. People came in and braved the storm from everywhere. It was nice. We had turkey and ham. There was green beans and sweet and mashed potatoes. Then afterwards we all sat around and introduced ourselves and said what we are grateful for today. I said that I was grateful that Megan had Iris and that we had repaired our relationship enough that she would entrust me with her daughter. I said I was grateful for high class problems and I was grateful to have the opportunities to practice the principals in all my affairs. I came out of there with an outpouring in my heart because it was so full of love. I knew that I loved those people in that room and I knew that they loved me too. It is not about who they are or what they have done. It is about a connection that occurs when something as powerful as the recovery of a tragedy affects people. We have each had our own tragedy that is unique to each and yet we all have the same recovery of it and that is what brings us together and binds us in times like these. There were several who were missing, some were drinking, some were drugging, some in jails and prisons, some in institutions and some were dead….like Jeff. They were noted and greatly missed. Those who were not there are the greatest teachers. They teach me what to do in order to not get things in life. Their message is powerful and clear: It could be me. For whatever reason, I have not found it necessary to return to the life I was snatched out of four and a half years ago. Some people say it is grace, or mercy. Some people say that it is wit and intelligence. Some say it has to do with the way that I was raised as to why I didn’t stay drunk. I say it is God. I don’t use that as a reason, rather a fact. Why God chose me, I don’t know. I just know that he did. That is what I am grateful for today.