Don't surround yourself with yourself,
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Don't surround
Yourself.

I was on my way to Thanksgiving dinner today and listening to my badly copied version of the "almost famous" soundtrack when I realized that when left to my own devices I will surround myself with myself, which only leads me to extreme selfishness and self centeredness. Listening to the song it sounded like it was telling me to go back and be with my family. Maybe it was just the day, I don't know. Or maybe it was the fact that I was so excited about going to see my Mom and Dad. Today I have lots of families, but there is my blood and it has the most significant place in my heart. I hadn't seen them in what feels like forever and I desperately missed them. John was so kind. He was actually glad to go to Thanksgiving dinner with my family. That means so much to me because my family means so much to me. I love it when everyone under the sun shows up for holiday dinners and even though none of us really know each other because we are far apart through physical distance or familial distance or maybe just age, whatever the reason, it is still good to see that person and have that sense of belonging. Some times it has been said that you can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. This seems so unbelievable to me because I know so many people whose family have totally rejected them due to behavior or choices made or any number of things. My family never turns me out. They never have rejected no matter how badly I have behaved or what choices I make. Based on that unconditional acceptance is what I base my logic for God, if there is such a thing. I believe that God does the same thing. I have heard it said that there is only one way to get to God and that is the fundamental belief that God will reject and accept based on that one path. I have made so many mistakes. I have made so many wrong decisions. How is it that an infinite God can have a finite path and a finite family have an infinite number of paths? I don't really. . . What I know is that today, I am grateful for my family. I am grateful that I don't have to surround myself with myself only to head to that place of separation in turn selfishness and fear, but that I have a place amongst many who want me, love me and are unconditional about me thus giving me the hope, faith and ability to give to others. I am still learning about having the ability to be unconditional, but I am grateful that I have a family who can teach me through the example in which they set. I am grateful to sit with them for the next four days and revel in their love and let the minister to my soul. I am grateful that my Dad had his birthday today, rather yesterday. I am grateful that my Mom and he are still married. I am grateful that my Mom is my Mom. I am so glad to be home.