I was on my way to the center of the sun

When I lost my wings and fell into a crowd

Some days I wonder what planet I am on. I hear people say stay positive, don't be a negative person. Don't worry, be happy. Love is all around. I see that people write books on the power of positive thinking. Its attitude that will get you altitude. The thing I can't figure is what happens when there is just a bad day. I mean, yesterday I lost all hope to have a good day. It was trucking along in a hypnotic way and took a left turn into bad day-ness. There was no stopping it. I thought surely, surely something good was going to come along. Nope. Bad Day. What is worse, is there is no one to blame. When a dog is bad you say bad dog. When a child is bad, you say bad boy, bad girl. When a day is bad...there is no way to make it change or let it know...it was in error. People tell me all the time that I am a negative person and should take a look at that. I have decided that I Don't Care. I am not a murderer. I am not beating people up in the street. I am not insulting inncocent people. I am just me. If that means sometimes I am negative, then sometimes I am negative. Some days are just bad days and they eat me for lunch. I tried desperately to put a good spin on yesterday, there is no way. No spin. It was unrighteous and it was my turn.

Today, I am totally hungover from yesterday. Today, I am going to sink into movies, clean my house and vanish for a few hours. No work, no fiancee, no girlfriends, no wedding. Just take a break. Maybe I will get my nails done too. Bleck. Recoop is what I am desperate for...rest. Rest would be really good. Going to BJ's would be really good, but I have to wait until next weekend. Rest. Maybe. Rest.