I love Sarah, she is one of the few who is smarter than my brother and can without reprecussions (unlike if it were I) tease him.

I am so much like my brother. I am desperate for a pool. I tried swimming at the local aquatic center, but it is lacking in sunshine. There is no way to hang out there. It is for training only. I found out from Grace that there is a local Clarkesville pool, now all I have to do is find it. I really needed a summer. One of the things I miss more than just about anything is my summers. I would teach just to get my summers back. God has given me a summer. The nice thing about studying is that I can do it anywhere. Maybe. I can do it at the pool if I can find it. I miss having no real responsibilities. I feel like the past ten years I have been locked up indoors with out any sunlight. I sit out on my deck sometimes just to get sun and study out there. I miss sitting in the sun. I miss wading in the pool. I miss swimming laps. I am going to find that pool if it kills me.

Today will be an interesting day. My Great Uncle Neal died a couple of days ago and today is his "viewing" and tomorrow is his funeral. I don't understand viewings really. There is not anything comforting to me about a corpse. I get the idea that it is to say your last goodbyes and is really for the family than the person who is dead, but I just am not comfortable hanging out in a room with a corpse. It is wierd. When my friend Jeffy died, a group of us went to the viewing. He died of a drug overdose so they did an autopsy. He looked crooked in his casket. Yes, the put him back together wierd. It was creepy. People don't look like they looked when I saw them last. It probably has to do with them having blood, but then instead of having this rich memory of them telling a joke or having a birthday or enjoying their family, I walk away with a memory of their face being on crooked. I don't remember my Great Aunt Unice at all except in a casket. I remember it being terrifying. I remember my Cousin or Aunt or. . . anyway I don't know how she is related to me, but her name was Christine and she took me to Dairy Queen for icecream because I just couldn't behave being terrified by a corpse. I was three. Or maybe four. I don't know. I don't have anything else in the memory banks.

My Great Uncle Neal liked to tell this joke:

"I know whose going to be the next to die in my family!"
"Whose that Uncle Neal?"
"Me, I am the only one left!"

I look forward to going to see my family today. I look forward to seeing my Dad's face when he opens his Dad's day gift today. Yes, I have the ultimate, will never get him anything else it is so perfect, Dad's day gift and since we are doing things a little early. . .I will get to see his surprise today. I look forward to warm hearts and good food. The nice thing about people like Uncle Neal dieing is that I am not sad or worried or anything remote to those emotions. I know that he was okay with going. I know that he was happy with his life. I recognize that he was right with God. Those things make death a little easier. When Milton died and when Grandmother died, I wasn't sad. They had great lives, did great things. It is just another piece in their life. The people I am sad for are people like Jeffy. He was 34 and his funeral was on his daughter's seventh birthday. That is AWFUL. Uncle Neal was a good man with good values who was eighty something and had a good life. I am not sad. I am glad that he was my uncle and shared his life with me.