Whenever there are two or more of you gathered in My name...

Sometimes life runs away without me. I have a friend dieing. I have friends getting married. I have friends having babies and adopting babies. I have friends who are desperately seeking God with no avail. I have friends whose husbands are going to Iraq. I have friends whose children are the smartest kids I have ever met in my life. I have friends whose children we are still wondering if they are going to have hair. I have old friends who still want to be my friend even after periods of seperation due to the enduring bonds of love and understanding. My life has gotten away from me. Trying to relate with all of these people on so many emotional levels while maintain some semblence of serenity, compassion and love for myself is . . . surreal.

I have a girlfriend who talks about having always wanted relationships with women like the women in the book The Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood. Now that she is on her journey, she finds that to be true for her on a daily basis. For me that is not so true.

When I was in highschool, I was one of those people who was not distinct enough to stick with one group of people. I was not a jock, but I was an eight varsity letterman. I was not a dancer, but was in the advanced ballet course and pax de duex class. I was not the smartest kid in the class but took five or six advance placement courses. I took private violin and piano but was not a musician. I was on the youth council at church but never in the popular group in Sunday School. It was crazy. Nothing matched yet everything happened. I was happier than I have ever been. I loved being sixteen and seventeen years old. I loved it. I was happy. I knew everyone. I knew absolutely no one. And thusly everyone knew me without ever knowing me.

These days, I want to know everyone again, except this time, I want them to know me too. I don't want to be afraid that someone knows I am vain or insensitive to stupidity. I don't want to be afraid that my favorite superhero is Wonder Woman and my favorite Disney character is all 101 Dalmatians. I am not afraid to say I like you and I really don't like you. I am thoroughly addicted to movies. NO, I didn't like the Divinci Code. I do not want to be in the Ya Ya Sisterhood. I want a relationships with people. Screw the generalities. Give me your heart. Give me your intricacies. Give me you because I would expect no less of myself.

I am really liking life today.