Dixie Chick

Coffee is my favorite, but cows definitely wake me up better.

This morning, I woke in the same position I fell asleep in which tells me how hard I slept. It was amazing. I must not have moved at all. Shortly thereafter, I was heading down the driveway (I was at the farm) and there was a cow in my way...calf actually. Now, I don't know much about cows. Generally when I go to the farm the cows turn their backsides to me and walk off. As in butts to you. (I think they know that John, lover of cows, likes me more than them and they are a jealous bunch of heifers.)

I do know that they are not supposed to be in the driveway. They are supposed to be behind an electric fence or hot wire, which is why they don't stampede me when I go to visit John. This calf was standing there, legs spread too wide, must have been a bull calf because of the look in its eyes. I did the only thing I could think of and honked. That calf lept into the air like it had just put its tongue on the hot wire. As it came down it was already in a full scamper back into the area where the wire was supposed to be. I thought it would go over the wire, and it did, however the wire instead of being on the posts, was on the ground. So the scooby-doo scamper was an easier getaway than I thought. The other cows, for the first time in their lives, looked straight at me. I just knew they were coming for me. I panicked. Then the horse, Legend the horse, looked at me and laughed and proceeded out of the fence as I headed back down the drive way to get John.

Yeah, that horse was half way down the road when I got back to the broken fence. I took off after him and there were cars backed up in both lanes wondering what on earth was going on. I used my fancy horse wrangling Saturn skills and whipped up in front of him. He just looked at me like, what do you want. I got out of my car looked right at him and said go home, except in horse language of course, which sounds a bit like "veeet, hee-aah" and a bursting clap of my hands. He politely turned and began back again. Doah-dee-doah... back home I go. (these are the horse thoughts) Then he passed the driveway, so being the cowgirl that I am I swung my fancy Saturn out in front and "aaaaaiiyyt." By this time a woman who is in a big deisel dooley, with two kids and a pair of overalls is helping me on the other lane of the road and blocking his idea to just turn back around and go back. So he looks at me and he looks at her and we both get out of our vehicles at the same time. He made a quick decision of noway man, I am out of here and headed down the driveway. He got lost though and missed the breached fence. She snagged his bridal and led him in through the gap and he led the cows (because all they need is one and they all move...much like the american populace) back across the pasture and away from the broken fence. By this time John comes trotting down the driveway. I say thanks to the lady and she wants to buy a bull calf. John says sure and they exchange information. She heads off to vacation bible school. John and Papa Bud (the cow farmer that actually owns the farm) start putting the fence back together. I head off to work.

I am going to wear my Stetson with pride now. Because I have earned it. I am a true cowgirl and horse wrangler. Papa Bud's comment was funny:
I'll only charge you a quarter for the excitement. I think it is official that I qualify for to be a star. I am a horse wrangling, cow scaring, fiddle playing, liberal-loudmouth....a real life dixie chick.