physical manifestations

Generally speaking, I am not a mystic. I get that there are some mystical things in life, ie the resurection of Christ; burning bush and Moses; Mom always knowing where my shoes, sun glasses, ball glove, favorite scrunchie... are when we are on the way out the door. However, lately I have come to find that my stress level links to my connection with God and my body.

My girlfriend Jennifer used to believe that physical ailments are related to your spiritual life. She gave me a book that has the ailment and then the prayer to go with it. It never occured to me until just now that maybe she was a scientologist. I don't think so though. The book has a prayer and an affirmation to help with the ailment. In jest, whenever Michelle says makes a comment that her head hurts or back aches, I go to the book to see what the fear is, and what the solution is. It makes Michelle and I squeal with disbelievability because it has yet to be wrong.

I have another book that talks about demonstrating where you are (Sermon on the Mount, Emmet Fox). If you demonstrate that you are open to sickness (like my brother who is a mild hypochondriac) then you are more likely to get sick. If you demonstrate that you never get sick, then you never get sick. The demonstrations are not acts they are thoughts. The thought process is what links us to God and what links us to ourselves.

Now I have had this information for a while, and I recognize that the consciousness of ourselves within the psychological realm as being slightly mystical too, which studied that in college. I have never really believed in any of it. I feel like the reason you get sick is because a little, dirty germ gets inside and your immune system doesn't work, is low or something else that would cause it to be faulty and you get sick.

This week I was served up a can of "whoopass" by folks at work. These folks are not my boss or my chairman, they are average everyday volunteers. They totalled me. I burst into tears not once, but twice in one day. Classic case of getting kicked while I was down. Strangely, I went home with sickness earlier this week. Sickness, like losing my lunch sickness. Now I know my Mom is going, "oh but you might have caught a bit of what your Dad had." I wish I could believe that. It was a violent one time act that was followed by three hours of sleep, dinner and eight hours of sleep. Then today I am queezy and just icky feeling. "Just nerves" is what a coworker said. "Stress" another one says.

I ask, can stress be so impressive that it makes your body violently reject a perfectly good chicken sandwich?

I have "heard" *not from a Doctor* that stress causes heart attacks (as opposed to clogged arteries and bad eating habits). I don't know. Maybe I do have a touch of a virus. Maybe stress does cause sickness. Maybe I need to go home and look up in that book for an affirmation to solve my distress. Maybe if I think that I am not stressed and sick, I won't be (or I might be prepping my self for a good case of DENIAL).

What I do know is that my work week made me work weak.

Thank you GAWD that it is Friday and with the coming rain, my stress can be washed away into the sleepiness of West Wing, the comfortablity of my little apartment and perhaps some fresh banana bread and bunch of flowers from the morning market. Oh, I feel better already.