Today our associate pastor kicked off the season of Lent. I don't usually pay much attention when he preaches because I feel like he looks down on us as a congregation sometimes in his messages. I like Dena better. But today, he made some good points. Of course the Gospel reading for today was about the temptation of Christ. Initially he pointed out the things we give up for Lent and that Sundays don't count in Lent (which who knew that?). Then he reached into the scripture for something more. I am all about more.

He mentioned that the hebrew translation for the word Satan is advisary. I didn't know that. It makes more sense. I don't like the concept of Satan: a fallen angel with a resentment collecting souls for hell. It is not inspiring. Mostly that fallen angel concept seems as though all I need is a good proton phaser in a video game to get rid of him. But an advisary, I have those. I have met those people, places and things. I understand the advisary concept. Someone who challenges me.

Don went on to point out that the temptation of Christ was not for what He gave up in the forty days in the desert, rather the temptation was to be who He was not. This advisary was challenging Christ's inner most self and tempting Him to renounce those beliefs. Now that is a concept of hell that I can get into. I know all about that kinda temptation. I know all about that kinda hell. I have been there. And I am Not going back.

When I went off to college, my temptation was waiting for me. It had already let me know that it was there. It was a cunning, patient thing. Some people I knew from church and school had given into it already. They had stories of pleasure and glory. This made the temptation even more alluring. My parents raised me to live without fear, rather in faith. They raised me in the faith that Christ of virgin birth, was resurrected from death as a sacrifice for the sin that separated me as a human from God, our Father. They raised me in a house without temptations. I'll never forget that opportunity to give in to my temptation finally. It was all consuming. It was all knowing. It asked me to renouce my beliefs and I said yes.

As a result it destroyed me. I met a fate of pitiful, incomprehensible demoralization. And yet, I am not that person today. At a point of great pain, I surrendered. I confessed my sins, made my restitutions with people. And finally, I made my restitutions with God. Today, like every day, I ask for God's forgiveness. I try to do His will to the best of my ability. I don't usually know what that is. I do know today that His will for me is not to drink. His will for me is to be His beautiful worthy child. Instead of renoucing my beliefs today, I carry his message to the mountains, the desserts and where-ever else He may send me.

In my Sunday School class today we studied the second chapter of Matthew. I asked my class why King Herod killed all those children? Because he had no faith they learned. They recognized that Josef and Mary had faith. They saw the magi followed God's will. They started to write a paragraph about their own fear and faith. They all had a story they wanted to tell me (all at one time) about their fear and faith. One has scoliosis and might have an operation. One's older brother cut his toe off with a lawn mower. They are amazing kids. When they get it, they really get it. When I was trying to think of my story of fear and faith, all I could think was that it would take more than a paragraph.

Today I have the faith to face the temptations in my life. I don't have to renouce my beliefs today. I know who I am. I know that I am a Christian. I know that I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't meddle in other people's affairs. I eat healthy. I get it. I like it when my pastor gives more because I get more.