Faith without works is dead

WHO IS LIVING IN MY APARTMENT? There is laundry everywhere: clean hasn't been put away, dirty just is hanging out in the bathroom. The dishes are not piled, but are set as a first layer preparing for that second. Then the trash, wholymoly, is giving me that look like: "take me out or in ten minutes or I am gonna smell...." even though it is just now full. There is an empty popcorn bowl on the floor and movies everywhere that are half watched. Someone else has to be in that apartment with me.

I don't know what happened in the past several days. After some contemplation and some consultation (I have a spiritual guru who guides me in the mysteries of faith), guidance was issued and clarity granted. A key indicator that I have not been in my right mind is my apartment. Specifically my laundry. However, this time the whole place exploded. Usually this only happens when I get depressed. Something dramatic happens and I go and hide and my apartment can't take it and explodes. Sloth, it is sloth. Sloth is the character defect.

According to websters:

Main Entry: sloth
Pronunciation: 'sloth, 'slth also 'slOth
Function: nounInflected Form(s): plural sloths /with ths or [th]z/
Etymology: Middle English slouthe, from slow slow1 a : disinclination to action or labor : INDOLENCE b : spiritual apathy and inactivity sloth>

Perfect definition for what happens to me when I despair and turn away from God in belief that not everything is going to be okay, just because I think and feel like it isn't okay. Depression sets in and the climb out of it is typically hard. My combat for this spiritual blemish is action: clean house. Somehow, for the first time, sloth entered my realm as a result of ecstatic elations. How this happened is beyond me. I was happy, happy, happy and my house is sad, sad, sad. Last night, after talking with the guru, I realized it was a result of me being without God and at the center of ego and that I needed to take action to get back into His sunlight. So I cleaned my house. I went to the grocery store. I did some cardio. I made my evening meals for the week. I loaded the dishwasher. I put away clean clothes. I put the dirty ones in the hamper. Trash is officially in take out mode. I straightened the movies. I returned movies. I went to the post office. I watched a movie (that was righteously bad). I went to bed on time. I slept. No fear. Woke to say my prayers & made my bed & do my meditation with yummie coffee (& a clean coffee maker).

Whew. Back to being with God. No more sloth. No more fear. Faith is action. Faith is work. Faith is discipline. Faith is balance. Faith is where I am glad to be back.