The bells are gonna chime. Pull out the stopper!
Let's have a whopper! But get me to the church on time!
Today, John & I go to see the priest. He is a she. She is going to determine since we are not of her denomination or membership worthy of marriage in her church. Worthiness. You know there is nothing more awkward than being judged on worthiness by a priest. Woman of the cloth. That is kind of like the big clound in the sky with that celestial glowing man in a white robe holding a thunderbolt looking down on you. I don't know how we ever came about that myth. I mean, the whole thunderbolt thing is so Greek. It must be a Greek myth thing. I mean, like God is going to hold a thunderbolt. Surely we can be more creative than that. For example, maybe God is writing a novel and needs a good piece of drama. Maybe God is playing a tennis match and we are losing and are going for the big come back/underdog/bated breath win. Maybe God has let us go and we make all our own decisions and the information is out there among all the information and we have to make the right choice, but He is done helping with us.
All my life I have been afraid of worthiness. I have been unworthy (according to my head) for others. I have been unworthy by others. I have never been good enough, strong enough, smart enough: worthy enough. Yet, in the past five and a half years, I have discovered, I am pretty worthy. I actually like myself. My friend Ed's words of unspeakable wisdom are summed: be a blade of grass. Yeah, no he is not wise, but whoever told him that might be. It helped me get off the floor and get to a point where I wasn't better than, not worse than, just the same as. I like that I am sour about not getting my dinner order incorrect; or that my favorite color is actually purple, but I wear blue all the time; or that I have a death rattling bark, but wouldn't be able to summon the courage to actually go through with a bite; or that I love to smoke Marboloro full flavor menthols by the pack; I only like to make my bed when I want to; my favorite dinner is my Mom's spaghetti; I long to play my violin and am excited there is a new piano teacher in town and am seriously considering her for lessons. I like myself.
Why am I so nervous about today? Why am I nervous about a priest?
Probably because I like her too.
Currently listening: Shimmer By Shawn Mullins Release date: By 04 May, 1999
1 comment:
As I always say:
When I finally meet my maker, I'll tell Him that I did the best I could.
Now whether He is an old man sitting on a throne or a great big flying spaghetti monster, I'll never know for now.
I rather think He is like an analogy I had with one of the ministers in my church. He indicated that all he knows about God is on the end of a pin that he is holding against the sun, with the sun as God.
Now, I'm on the other side, holding my pin. Looks different to me, but it's still the same sun. And all of our knowledge together, with everything we all know from our little pins, cannot begin to comprehend the vastness of that sun.
I really think that all the religions in the world are very limiting in their view of God, and we're all going to be very surprised. Kind of in a "Oh, so that's what that means" way.
I am so happy for you that you have found someone to share your live and love with. After all, that's pretty much what it all boils down to, isn't it?
I hope you two are very happy together.
I can't wait for the invitation.
Uncle Oze
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