Buildings and bridges
Are made to bend in the wind
To withstand the world,
That's what it takes
All that steel and stone
Is no match for the air, my friend
What doesn't bend breaks
What doesn't bend breaks—ani defranco

Today was a hard work day. I am not really big into being picked on and I was picked on by my super boss. This is the second time in about two weeks that I have been chewed by upper management and I snapped. I cried. With in about thirty seconds of me unleashing the first tear, the whole office knew. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I didn’t want to be here any more. I have wanted for so long to hold down a job, a good job for a year, at least one year. Now I know why I haven’t been able to do it. It is really hard. I don’t want this job and it is a good job. It pays my bills, it gives me insurance, and there are people here who are just like me in age and in mind, to some degree. My brother tells me that I have never realized how great I am. I think it is because I have maintained jobs like this one. I guess once your get your year, which I did on 10-10-04, you are assumed fussable. All the charm that you had and potential is swept to the side and the defects go into overdrive. I want to say drop dead please, but somehow that doesn’t seem like the right thing to do. I recognize that the benefits are tying me into this company and I also am becoming painfully aware of the shortcomings of it as well. I think it might be time for me to find out how great I really am.