Sometimes my head just starts blogging on days like today. I have been crazy like so crazy, and have been afraid to even blog about movies that my crazy would shine through and all of the sudden some random employer of my future would find me unfit for my job ten years down the road thusly leading me to becoming less than and unwanted. Ewwwwwe......is a really nasty fear. But then there are days like today when the crazy sets its self aside and I go back to being the person I love to be, me.

I woke this morning to cold and uncovered feet in need of the warm fuzzy socks buried somewhere in the depths of my soft cotton sheets layered with quilt and down comforter. It is hard to pray with cold feet. To my surprise, I found my socks and headed where everyone goes first thing, the bathroom. I was only partially awake but realized that I just couldn't stand to look at the grossness of the floor of the bathroom any more. For no apparent reason, I cleaned my bathroom. One of the substances I used on the toilet is called Lime Away. By this time my socks were off as I had at one point to climb into the shower to clean it and they were laying by the side. Once I was satisfied with my work, I moved onto the mudroom, then the kitchen, then the VACCUUM! Would it never end? My husband got to a stopping point with his homework and suggested we go to Sweetwater where the coffee is good and the people appealing, and I said sure, but I needed to take a shower first. As I finished scrubbing my head and started in on my feet, I noticed that my left foot was red and burning. Something like a rash had taken hold. After the shower I had John take a better look to see if he knew what had overtaken my foot and he suggested aloe. What a smart man. It made it better. For three seconds, only to find that now I could not put a sock on it as it burned even more and worse than before the aloe. I began to look a little more closely at the rash to notice that it looked a lot like my fuzzy sock exept burned onto the top of my foot. Acid burn. Thank goodness I retained something from school. Kidding, I remembered from Fight Club, acid burn=baking soda. Instant gratification like I have never experienced. So now, I don't know if I should wash the Lime Away infested sock or throw it out and by another pair? But enough about feet, I needed good coffee and appealing people. It was time for Sweetwater.

The reason I like Sweetwater so much is that it is truely an oasis for my heart. When I am a little bit crazy, a little bit lacking, a little bit joyful, a little bit in need of something, I go to Sweetwater. I have spent months on the porch of that place smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee trying to find out who I am only to discover that I don't know. Now a days, I just go for coffee and let others smoke for me, but I like to sit and talk or not talk, just drink and let me rest. Today was especially unusual as before I headed out the door, I did an exercise in letting go. I gave God my fears through writing it down on paper and throwing it away. Initially there was one or two folks at the coffee shop. But out of nowhere a man with a funny looking case came in and another woman with a guitar and a third with a banjo and fiddle. They played for hours. I sat and drank coffee and listened for hours. I got to know these kind very professional, musicians. They made me want to play my violin, sing and stomp my feet. Instead, I just tapped my foot and listened. They played celtic, irish, blugrass, old american folk songs. They sang solos, harmony, duets and sometimes just played along, and along, and along. They joked in between, got up for more coffee, laughed at nothings which of course led back into a random chorus of something. It was just wonderful.

After a while my long time friend walked in who lives in Atlanta but for no apparent reason came to the coffee shop. We hugged and talked and loved each other the way we do. He and John spent time sharing some experience, strength and hope. We also met his sister who was dating our favorite waiter. There is something healing in seeing old friends and catching up. Something that makes the crazy seem less important and the love more important. All the while the music played and the coffee flowed.

I have been a little bit of crazy for a while. My heart has been burned like my foot was earlier today. This mystical group of wandering musicians were the base for my acid burned heart. God did take away my hurt and sorrow as soon as I gave it to Him. Just like that. There is nothing better than good coffee, good music and good friends to sooth the burn.