Butterflies and BirthdaysI have been making these butterflies all day. These are just a few. They are mostly glitter, paint and construction paper. They are not hard to make, just fairly time consuming. Butterflies have always symbolized metamorphosis to me. Having had a spiritual awakening that was without doubt life changing, I have come to find a small fixation with the butterfly. That whole process of change is ever present in my manner of living these days. I am making these particular butterflies for a women's retreat I am going on this weekend. There are sixteen women and we are supposed to bring something for each of them to put in their box. Don't know exactly what that means yet, but am looking forward to it just the same. I am on the broke side so I am making my something to go in the box. Since this is my butterfly month (I am 33 and I haven't taken a drink in 9 years) I decided to share. I will write scripture or inspirational poems or something warm and fuzzy about change on each one of them.
I can remember being touched when I was younger by an artists' rendering of doubting Thomas in a sand sculpture. I know that I have not just doubted my Lord, I have rejected Him. I was sitting in tonight listening to a few friends talk about making amends. To amend means to make it right. It doesn't mean I'm sorry. To make it right. I don't know if I can ever make it right for rejecting God. I do know that every morning and every night I embrace Him with prayers of gratitude, petition for me and others, of praise. I try my best through out my mundane day to hold His "hand" and thank Him when I see His presence. This is not the life I used to lead, but it is the life I lead today. It is a discipline that I have achieved as a result of a lot of pain and a little guidance. I can only imagine that as a caterpillar is wrapped inside that cocoon, at some point it becomes so uncomfortable that it has no choice but to break out and be a butterfly. That is my life in a nutshell, I was so uncomfortable, I had no choice but to be the butterfly God would have me be.
4 comments:
The butterflies are so pretty -- like you! I am sure that your friends will like them.
Mom
I love the butterflies and the symbolism.
As for making amends with God, there's nothing any of us could ever do to make it right with Him. That was Jesus' job on the cross. And it's already done, your amends were already made for you before you even knew to think about them. That's refreshing to me. It means that I can have bad days and days where I fail miserably, but I don't have to do extra penance because I'm already washed clean by the blood. Take heart in that, and I think it's a step in the metamorphosis process as well. The Blood, part of Jesus' pain that became our freedom from the cocoon.
As for rejecting God, you had already accepted him as a young person. His commitment to you was to never let you go regardless of your behaviors, past or future. He holds you in the hollow of his hand. You are safe in every life situation.
You could try to reject me, an earthly father, but truthfully, you will always be my daughter.
Dad
love this. thanks for sharing your heart.
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