I'm getting something for this love's labor,
even when I am forgetting...

I have forgotten how intense the last days of school are. I am pretty scared. It's been a while since I have taken a final. Just the word: final, it sounds so...final...like the end. The reality is it is not the end. It is just the beginning. I still have about three years worth of work ahead of me. John has encouraged me to go on and get a masters as well since I will have 30 hours worth when I get done getting the cpa. So masters here I come. Finals are not so final when there is three years to go.

Who would guess I would get a masters? I mean Carter getting a masters, sure, he is the smart kid in the family, but Rae? She is the misfit. She might be smart, but not disciplined. She is crazy!

But man, on Saturday, it will feel final. I have a final on Saturday. Who thought that was a good idea? Finals are so cumbersome. I only have two that are cummulative. They are english (multiple choice) and accounting...the longest test of my life. When English became a multiple choice possiblity, I don't know, but it is. The accounting I expect to be a total of three questions that will take two full hours. It is math and math profs like to do that kind of thing. Or it will be a bzillion questions totally contingent on each other so if you get the first one wrong, the whole test is wrong. That one is on Saturday. Strangley, I made a deal with the prof that if I get an A on the exam, I get an A in the class. I have a solid B in that class to a point of not being able to make an A statisically. But he said that he'd give it to me if I did it on the final exam. So I have to make an A.

Today is a reading day. Although these days they call it an academic day. It is a day with no tests, no papers, no teachers. It is a day to read. I actually went to a study session with the accounting teacher for two hours and gave up and left when there was no end in sight. I saw that there are lots of people who are in the accounting realm with me who are not in my class. They are taking most of the same classes as me but at all different times. They are amazed at my ability to say, okay I get it. Now I just have to remember it. That is what reading days are about. Remembering. Maybe it should be called a memory day. I have all A's and B's. I used to have a C, but managed to bring it up. The last time I had all A's and B's was thirteen and a half years ago. I ended up with a 3.6 for the semester. I made deans list. I hope I make deans list again. That would be so cool.

Back to remembering...remembering that it is not so final.