I haven't had a school break in so long, I don't know what to do. I am finally on break. No parties, no family, no gifts left to give. My house is clean, my clothes are washed. There is no one left to visit. Nothing has finally been achieved.

I am starting a diet today prescribed by a trainer: no white flour or sugar for two weeks, five meals a day, cardio and weight strengthening training. I feel like I am jumping on the band wagon for the New Year resolutions, but I am not. I have put a lot of hard earned mental energy into this process. My willingness has been slow throughout the chaotic Christmas season. Now that I am to nothing. I was thinking I am more willing to do something. Michelle told me that it was a good diet but to watch out for gout.

Gout? Isn't that something people got in the middle ages? Or is it something old people get? John thought you got it from eating too much shell fish (which I don't know that I could ever eat enough shrimp!). So I looked it up. Turns out it is when your uric acid forms crystals on your joints. It is preventable through drinking lots of coffee, water, vitamin C and eating cherries. Mmmm...cherries. Gout, who would have thought of that one? So, I have a purple water bottle ready to go. And John is going into town today, so he will pick up some vitamin C. Turns out we have coffee (I'm sure you can't imagine me having coffee right?) and of all things, we bought cherries as a luxury the last time we went to the grocery store. Huh, not so bad if you ask me.

So no gout for me, I'll leave it to the old people in the middle ages to getting it.

Wish me luck. I am told that I will lose a significant amount of weight over the next six months by this trainer guy. I hope so. I am ready to be my slim self again. Back to the happy healthy look of when I was a swimmer. Slim and trim.

You are an extra ordinary woman, you are Wonder Woman.

That is how I have felt in the last few weeks. Make the in law smile, wonderful. Make the husband smile, wonderful. Make the mama smile, wonderful. Make the step-children smile, wonderful. I AM WONDER WOMAN. Boy was I glad to watch the dvd of wonder woman last night to find out that there are more out there just like me! HA!

I have always wanted to be this person. The person that I am today. I don't know how I got here, but I am glad that I am. I only have one more part of me to get it totally to where I want to be which is my physical being. I guess it will be my last demon. God will help me just like God has helped me this far. Through the raising by good parents, the guidance of good mentors and the love and warmth of both, I will be total wonderful.

On another topic, I have a great family. All things considered. I got lucky. My husband's family that is now my family, ain't half bad. It could be much worse. I am extremely grateful for them today, a little more than usual, due to knowing two that have lost their family in this holiday season. I believe in the power of numbers, so I think there will be a third. (My Mom is rolling her eyes right now, but she believes in ghosts so I can believe in threes.) Both who are gone are sons. Son of a John's friend around the corner and a son of my good friend Debbie. Her first son. I know it is hard to lose family members. I have not experienced anyone that was really painful to lose. I lost my grandmother a couple years back, but all her ducks were in a row and her spiritual strength, man what I wouldn't give for the spiritual fortitude she had. I wasn't hurt about her death because I knew that she was safe with God. It is like she went on a long vacation and I will see her when I get there. Sometimes I think she is still a part of my life (since my Mom believes in ghosts). Her pineapple casserole always seems to make it to family events. Loss of a loved one must be hard. I can't imagine losing someone out of the people that I saw on Saturday night. They all mean so much to me. There were a few who have divorced out of the family who I still miss, even though they divorced us. There were one or two who couldn't make it due to work or living far away, I think of them too. My family is just really great. I can't imagine not having them. Especially at Christmas.

I come home and there are people who have horrid family tales of Christmas. My "horrid" tale is that 35 people descended upon my Mother's home! My friends all die of shock that 1) I have 60 people that are invited and are family we like enough to invite to our home and 2) that 35 of them showed up. My friends all think of 35 people in their family (who I would never invite to my house) and cringe at the thought of them all being in the same place at the same time without referees or police. To me it is what I look forward to every year. I used to look forward to a drive to Dalton every year, going to Nenny's house. There were more than 35 people there. My Mama is now Nenny. What a wonderful woman she is. Maybe that is where I get it from. Wonder Woman Nenny, Wonder Woman Mama, Wonder Woman Rae...

I love my family. I am so glad God has given me the ability to participate in it today. It was just seven years ago, I couldn't participate in my own life not to mention a life with family. What a difference finding a God of my own understanding makes. I would have never guessed He would have given me all these glad tidings of joy. I hope y'all all had a Merry Christmas, because goodness knows, I had a wonderful one.

"I know that we are going to South Carolina to set up Iowa. When I say what's next, I am finished with that item and want to know what's next. So what's next? Nothing?! Good.

Well I feel bathed in the warmth of the candidate. "

I have yet to find respite after my four and a half hour final. My accounting final was four and a half hours. The gal who took six hours made a C, which was good for her. She is no longer an accounting major. I am though.

I keep running into more to do. With in an hour and a half of my final, I went to WV. With in an hour of coming home from WV, I went to meet with friends. Then there was the Christmas shopping. After that the Christmas Card preparing. Picture for the Christmas Card. Then the posting of the cards...75 cards. I still have four left to send, making 79 cards total. Then there was the wrapping of the gifts. Still looking for gifts. Working at the work study for four days. Packing for Mom's. Going to Mom's. Prepping for the party at Mom's. It just doesn't stop. I haven't stopped. Something to do. Something more. What's next?

Something is always next. I want to have a day where I say, nothing? good.

For those of you who think that I have dropped off of the face of the earth, I did. I went to WV. Anyone who has been to WV knows HOW off the earth it is. BUT, I thought for those who are still interested in my life, I thought I would give a good news Christmas blog:

Good News: I made a 3.8 for my first semester back in college.
Accounting: A
Macro: B
Micro: A
English: A
Management: A


Merry Christmas!

And then there was one...

I asked a gal who takes easy econ with me if she'd taken the accounting final already. She said yes, and it took her six hours to take. SIX HOURS? She said yes, and then she changed her major. She is no longer an accounting major. After a six hour exam, I would be hard pressed to stay with it too. She said that she was the last one. She said that most people finished in three. THREE HOURS? For a scheduled hour and a half exam? Can you say this professor is nuts? Yes, he is.

He is a West Virginian, gospel singing, gang busters Christian, man of accounting, nut. And this is not something he wouldn't self proclaim. He sings to us old country songs just to see how culturally exposed we are. Things like: Drop kick me Jesus through the goal posts of life. (It turns out that is a real song.) Most of the songs I can sing along, but every now and again...

Our second exam took me over two hours. I was the last in the class to leave. Our third exam took me not even the whole class period because he didn't teach enough stuff to make a full test. I have had my guess that the exam (its comprehensive) would be devistatingly long. If for no other reason than to generate the amount of information that he wants. If I am going to pour my accounting knowledge out on the table, it would take me at least three hours to spill. Even then, I am not sure that I would be empty.

Six hours...

I'd have to go pee at some point in six hours and there is no way he'd let us leave and come back. Too much room for cheating. Six hours. That poor gal. Its too bad to, because I was hoping to see her in class more.

Luckily, there is no exam following our exam so if I have to, I'll stick with it till the cows come home. ON A SATURDAY no less...

Just one more left and I get an entire month to play. Play, play play...yeah, I am not taking six hours. Forget it, I am going to make Christmas sugar cookies and hang out with Meg who I haven't seen in two or three weeks because of school.

One more exam. Just one. Wonder if there is a bad gospel-country song for that!

Two down, Three to go...

I have a multiple choice English final today at one o'clock. I can't even think of how to prepare for a multiple choice English Final. For the mid-term, I didn't study because I have other things going on and made a B by the skin of my teeth. One point more and Ida had an A. Out of undue loyalty, I am making myself study for the final. I have taken the review sheet and anything I don't know off the top of my head, I am looking up. For example, one of the topics she wants us to know is "redundency." Yeah, I am not looking that one up. But weird ones like "Boolean Operators," I will take the time to clarify so I know them for the test. If you can tell me what a boolean operator is, I will bake you a pecan pie.

Tomorrow is my easy Econ class. In case you are curious, that would be micro economics. It is easy because he gives you the test as a review sheet. This is a man who scared the devil out of most of the students on the first day. We originally had sixty people in the class. He told us that we had three tests, no extra credit and if we cheated, he would catch us and throw us out of the school. There are only thirty in the class now. He is a really nice man as it turns out. And I have a solid A in that class.

When there is little motivation to study, it is amazing how many other things come up that I need to do. I dusted the ceiling fan this morning for instance. How important was it? Not very. I don't know that I have ever done it. THAT is how important it is. My head is now significantly in pain as a result of my sinuses being stopped up from all the dust which is even more reason to not study. This is bad. I need to find out about booleans.

Ah, to study or not to study, that is the question.

I'm getting something for this love's labor,
even when I am forgetting...

I have forgotten how intense the last days of school are. I am pretty scared. It's been a while since I have taken a final. Just the word: final, it sounds so...final...like the end. The reality is it is not the end. It is just the beginning. I still have about three years worth of work ahead of me. John has encouraged me to go on and get a masters as well since I will have 30 hours worth when I get done getting the cpa. So masters here I come. Finals are not so final when there is three years to go.

Who would guess I would get a masters? I mean Carter getting a masters, sure, he is the smart kid in the family, but Rae? She is the misfit. She might be smart, but not disciplined. She is crazy!

But man, on Saturday, it will feel final. I have a final on Saturday. Who thought that was a good idea? Finals are so cumbersome. I only have two that are cummulative. They are english (multiple choice) and accounting...the longest test of my life. When English became a multiple choice possiblity, I don't know, but it is. The accounting I expect to be a total of three questions that will take two full hours. It is math and math profs like to do that kind of thing. Or it will be a bzillion questions totally contingent on each other so if you get the first one wrong, the whole test is wrong. That one is on Saturday. Strangley, I made a deal with the prof that if I get an A on the exam, I get an A in the class. I have a solid B in that class to a point of not being able to make an A statisically. But he said that he'd give it to me if I did it on the final exam. So I have to make an A.

Today is a reading day. Although these days they call it an academic day. It is a day with no tests, no papers, no teachers. It is a day to read. I actually went to a study session with the accounting teacher for two hours and gave up and left when there was no end in sight. I saw that there are lots of people who are in the accounting realm with me who are not in my class. They are taking most of the same classes as me but at all different times. They are amazed at my ability to say, okay I get it. Now I just have to remember it. That is what reading days are about. Remembering. Maybe it should be called a memory day. I have all A's and B's. I used to have a C, but managed to bring it up. The last time I had all A's and B's was thirteen and a half years ago. I ended up with a 3.6 for the semester. I made deans list. I hope I make deans list again. That would be so cool.

Back to remembering...remembering that it is not so final.