Life on the farm...


Every once in a while a calf will not wean from the mama cow. In times of initial stress, there is a simple solution: take the calf away from the mama. It takes three days. Easy enough. So the cow is in the pen. The calf is in the pasture with the heard. Weaning begins. Weaning leads to mooing. Mooing is to call the calf to milk the udders that are FULL. COME MILK MEEEEEE translates to MOoOOOOooOOO.

Recently, we started weaning a cow on Friday. Only nobody told me that we were weaning anything. I started dinner and am beebopping around my beautifully organized, cleaned kitchen. There is a scream like a child who can't decide if they are hurt or laughing rediculously in pain. The edge of terror and gaiety. I look outside expecting the dogs to respond if somethings up. No response. I think to myself...hmm...that's odd. Must have been an coyote. Yes, that's it. A Coyote!

Eric pulls in his big big truck and tells me he is going hunting. Okay, come in for dinner if you like. AAAAAAAAAAhhhhhh!!!! That's no coyote. I look outside. Eric is feeding RedDog leftover breakfast from the depths of the truck. No flinching.

NOW, I am crazy. There is a child or girl or is screaming in my head.

So when John gets home and there is a AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHhhhhh!!!! I say seee...what is that? He said he didn't hear it that he would listen next time.

We go to the movies and come back. AHhHAHHAAHHHHH!!!!! JOHN! What is that?!

Oh that? AAAAHAAHAAAAAAHHHHhhhh!!!!!

Yes, that.

Oh, that's the cow in the barn, she can't moo. That is the sound she makes.

A cow who can't moo? I am crazy.